About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Ostracized Adopted Child


The Ostracized Adoptee

Evolutionary Scientists studying social ostracism, believe it is an evolutionary adaption to survive, we receive psychological warnings to possibly prevent ourselves from being outcast from the social safety. Adopted children are ostracized at birth from their social group, are ostracized by our differences from adoptive family and we ostracize ourselves from potential threats. We know nothing else, ostracism is ingrained in every cell of our body, and we choose to self ostracize to avoid being ostracized by others. It is our nature
from intentional control of others that cause the adopted child's conditioning.

Article LINK:http://www.alternet.org/culture/social-death-penalty-why-being-ostracized-hurts-even-more-bullying

Why Ostracism Hurts
Human beings are social animals; the ability to interact with others is among our most basic requirements. For all mammals, social distance from the group is every bit as dangerous as hunger, thirst, or physical injury. In human societies, ostracism can mean death if the target is deemed outside the protection of the law or cut off from group support, including access to food. 
Because ostracism can be so deadly, researchers think we have developed acute sensitivity to it. It can freak us out even more than being hit, ridiculed or yelled at, causing our bodies and minds to suffer exquisitely. Our need to belong is so strong that we experience psychological and physical effects right away. Neuroscientists have found that social rejection is experienced much like physical pain — connected to the same neural circuitry.
In the short-term, ostracism can create a bad mood or other forms of physiological arousal. If it goes on, it can cause low self-esteem, profound feelings of helplessness, self-imposed isolation, and suicidal thoughts.
Research collected in The Social Outcast: Ostracism, Social Exclusion, Rejection, and Bullying shows the myriad ways ostracism can harm both the target and the community. The work of Lowell Gaernter and Jonathan Iuzzini suggests that people who perceive that they have been rejected or excluded by a group are more likely to harm multiple persons if they become violent.
Why is the pain so acute? When you are the object of a heated argument, you may feel angry, but at least you are interacting with someone. When you get the silent treatment, a common form of ostracism, you feel as if you don’t even exist. There’s no playing field on which to influence the relationship or situation — you may not even know the nature of the offense. The imposition of silence is a power play that expresses the ultimate contempt for the target: as George Bernard Shaw put it, “Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.” The one giving the silent treatment — whether it’s not answering email, turning away in the middle of a conversation, or pretending not to hear a question — gets to feel control. In not explaining the cause, the perpetrator delivers particular pain. The message is loud and clear: “You do not matter.”
Another reason ostracism hurts so badly is that the hurt is not confined to the period when it happens. Researchers find that all you have to do is relive a past ostracism episode, or even imagine a future event, and you will feel psychological agony. So intense is the pain of ostracism that even being rejected from a despised group makes people upset. Observing ostracism distresses even bystanders.
The Young Brain in Pain
Children know all about ostracism. They know it so deeply that some of their most common games, like musical chairs, play out social exclusion. On the playground, the child considered the slowest, weakest, or different in some respect is marked for ostracism. Research suggests that children and adolescents may be impacted more negatively by ostracism than adults, with more extreme reactions.
The brains of adolescents who experience chronic ostracism may undergo telltale long-term changes, with normal development short-circuited. Through an online game called Cyberball, scientists have studied over 20,000 children to see how they are impacted by ostracism. Among the findings: ostracism adversely affects a young person’s cognitive ability. It can influence everything from food intake to hormonal systems, and it can induce symptoms ranging from paranoia to substance abuse.
Not only can ostracism damage the brain; it is also more commonly directed at those who have cognitive and psychiatric challenges. One study found that children with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder and autism spectrum disorders were more likely to be ostracized when compared to children with other special needs or those without a diagnosis.
Chronic ostracism in young people can be dangerous: One well-known analysis of 15 U.S. school shootings from 1993-2001 suggests that ongoing exclusion was a major contributing factor in 87 percent of events. More recent tragedies show patterns linked to ostracism response, like that of alleged Isla Vista shooter Elliott Rodger. A common reaction to the perception of social rejection is trying desperately to forge new group identities, such as those available online. Rodger, who felt ignored and rejected particularly by female peers, sought to forge a new group identity through online “Men’s Rights” communities. When he finally snapped, Rodger followed the predicted pattern of violence in the ostracized in not wanting merely to harm himself or random people, but members of the group from which he felt excluded.
Sandra Robinson of University of British Columbia's Sauder School of Business, who co-authored a recent paper on the subject, explained that adults may feel that ostracism is a more acceptable form of social control:
“We've been taught that ignoring someone is socially preferable—if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all…But ostracism actually leads people to feel more helpless, like they’re not worthy of any attention at all.”
One of the things about ostracism in the workplace that makes it so hard to deal with is that it can be very subtle. Getting ignored in a meeting is hard to prove and respond to, but it can be psychologically devastating. In the hands of a petty and malicious boss, ostracism becomes a finely tuned instrument of torture, and one that can be implemented with little fear. There is an ambiguity to it: the targeted person wonders if it’s really happening, and since no one tells the target what may be wrong, the person can’t address the problem. The target feels humiliated and without recourse.
In the corporation, ostracism is often used to deal with the threat of whistleblowers. Unlike other forms of retaliation, like termination, demotion or a poor performance review, ostracism is difficult to document and probably won’t qualify for legal intervention. It is extremely effective because it prevents the target from being able to do his or her work properly, which can create grounds for retaliation that appear to be legitimate.