About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Negative Adopted Childhood Creates Unconscious Familiarity


Negative Adopted Childhood Creates Unconscious Familiarity

The emotionally distant adoptive mother from adopted childhood is the future unconscious attraction. The fact that the adoptive mother was so unavailable is likely to be at the core of what’s activating the adult adoptee's feelings, which you are likely misinterpreting as love. In the vast majority of cases this isn’t love but rather familiarity. People who grew up in families where the feeling of connection to one or both parents or their siblings is distanced, or where members of their family were emotionally unavailable because they struggled with a drug or alcohol problem, often have a GPS unit for finding people that create the same vibe in them.
 Studies say that we are attracted to what is familiar to us and that mere exposure will affect our attitude toward certain people. For instance, if you grow up with high temperamental parents, you will tend to find a partner with temperament issues. Not because you consciously find them attractive, but because of the familiarity that you unconsciously acknowledge in them. This is our subliminal mind and we have no awareness of making such a choice. Either good or bad, our subliminal mind will let us stay in this relationship because they find it comforting in sense of familiarity.

Studies have shown that we are all attracted to what is familiar to us, and that repeated exposure to certain people will increase our attraction toward them. This is a subconscious process that we’re not even aware of or have any awareness of making such a choice. We are attracted to familiar people because we consider them to be safe and unlikely to cause harm. This doesn’t just apply to people we’ve actually seen before or to people who look familiar, but also to people who behave in ways that are familiar to us. For example, if you are a woman who grew up with an alcoholic father you will tend to be attracted to men who are alcoholics, not because you find them attractive but because you find their behavior familiar. Even when someone’s behavior or personality is hurtful, on a subconscious level, some part of us finds comfort in the familiarity of that behavior. Good or bad, the environment in which we grew up is the only home we’ve ever known. 
This is why it’s so difficult for people to leave hurtful relationships. It’s easy to criticize someone for staying in an abusive relationship and to blame the person for staying, accusing them of being weak or wanting to be treated badly. But no one wants to be treated badly. It is hard to leave because, besides the issues of having no where else to go, we are tethered to bad relationships as much as we are tethered to our childhood by our subconscious minds.
By becoming aware of the patterns in your relationships, you will be able to see what exactly you are attracted to. Do not blame yourself for engaging in these relationships or allowing these patterns to continue. You cannot control what you’re not aware of. But you can develop awareness and create a new pattern. Look back at your relationships and you might discover, for example, that what all your boyfriends had in common was a controlling nature. They always wanted to tell you what to do, and when, where and how. And then think back to your adoptive parents. The rejecting childhood you grew up with was controlling and exhibited those same kinds of behaviors as well. Simply making that connection creates an awareness that shifts your beliefs from your unconscious mind, where you have no control, to your conscious mind, where you can decide what to do.