About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Maternal Deprivation & Self-Esteem


The Maternal Deprivation & Self-Esteem

The reality for adopted children is depravity from where we belong, from who we belong and are relegated to be owned by society's idea of a more entitled couple with financial resources.  The selfish society that labels adoptees bastard, unworthy of voice, rights and opinions is propelled to keep adult adoptee's silenced. As adult adoptees hold the key to why all of the consequences from child adoption occur, we hold the answers that society refuses to acknowledge. Adoptees that refuse to live in denial are seeking answers to what has happened to us psychologically and physically that was directly caused by adoption.
The first, most serious and monumental deprivation adopted infants suffer after birth is the manifestations that accompany removing a newborn infant from their mother, the most psychologically catastrophic event in our existence that causes our defects. 
You learn the world from your mother's face. The biological mother's eyes especially, is the infant offspring's refuge, the genetic mirror where her infant confirms he's existence.        
From the doting reflection of his mother's eyes, the offspring baby draws his earliest, wordless lessons about connection, care, love and about how being ignored makes the good feeling disappear.
The biological mother's gaze, determines how you come to see yourself, your place in the world, and the moral nature of people around you. "The meeting eyes of love," novelist George Eliot called this all-important connection. According to Dan Siegal, a psychologist who specializes in early parental bonding, every child yearns for, and must have, this eye contact for healthy emotional development to occur. Siegal, who founded a new field of research known as interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB), has proved that the mother's gaze plays a critical role in how we develop empathy.
"Repeated tens of thousands of times in the child's life, these small moments of mutual rapport, serve to transmit the best part of our humanity "our capacity for love" from one generation to the next". 
Without genetic mirroring, children deprived of their biological mother's gaze feel disconnected from the mother, themselves, others in their world, later in life.                          Many of them will struggle to heal this disconnect in destructive ways, not knowing what is missing in them. Without the early conformation that we exist, learned from the mother's gaze we do not recognize ourselves or ourselves in our biological relatives, we do not develop or comprehend the language of empathy that genetic mirroring teaches the child. 
Being ignored, unaware of what is missing in our psychological wholeness, we attempt to   recreate the ignored state as being ignored is all that is familiar the infant-child-adult. The habitual recreation of abusive partners as we replace one abuser for another ranging from dysfunctional relationships to abusive habits to calm our anxieties. 
The emptiness caused by the biological mother's absence and the self destroying impulses that can never bring us bonding, acceptance, and nurturing that we constantly crave but reject from others.
Siegal states that that the visual, non-verbal interaction between mother and infant primes the moral organ in visceral ways. Through mirroring, continued attachment to biological mother assists the immature infant brain use the mature functions of the mother's brain to organize its own processes. "We learn to care literally, by observing the caring behavior of our mother toward us. By the age of seven months, these earliest attachments have led to specific organizational changes in an infant's behavior and brain function. Having found a secure base in the world, according to psychologist John Bowlby, the founder of attachment theory, the child learns emotional resilience. If the mother is responsive to the child's signals and interacts with sensitivity, a secure attachment will be formed, reinforcing the child's own positive emotional states and teaching him or her to modulate negative states. 
Adopted infants deprived of their biological mother's gaze, the area of the brain that coordinates social communication, empathic attunement, emotional regulation, and stimulus appraisal, the establishment of value and meaning, will be faulty. Adopted children are likely to develop "insecure attachment", loss of self-esteem and feelings of belonging. 
 Through the mirrored love in our biological parents' eyes, we learn surrender, devotion, and trust. The adopted child learns depravity, anxiety and self-hatred.