Adoptee Rage! This blog is written exclusively for the 38% of Abused and Neglected Adopted Children. The U.S. HHSA Identifies #1 Risk: Maltreatment, Child Abuse and Risk for Death In Adopted children. Childhood domination, Coping compensation. Research in Adoption Psychology, Developmental Trauma"The Adoption Paradox". By Rainstorm Red-Smith
About Adoptee Rage
Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.
Monday, June 5, 2017
"Empty Nest Syndrome" Disturbing Psychopathy that Motivates Adoption
ADOPTEE RAGE! The "Empty Nest Syndrome" Psychopathy that Motivates Child Adoption _____________________________________________________________
Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend college or university. It is not a clinical condition.
Since young adults moving out from their families house is generally a normal and healthy event, the symptoms of empty nest syndrome often go unrecognized. This can result in depression and a loss of purpose for parents, since the departure of their children from "the nest" leads to adjustments in parents' lives. Empty nest syndrome is especially common in full time mothers/house wives.
The high school graduate's inevitable departure from home is expected, predictable and needed to assert the individual's adulthood phase of life, self sufficiency and adult identity development. For mothers who refuse to accept this normal life transition, want their child to remain forever dependent on them create toxic environments that are intolerable to the adult child. The mother's selfish narcissism, manipulations, triangulation and guilt trips to keep their adult child from leaving push the adult child to escape the home and regard it as a prison where the mother as the warden.
Symptoms and effects
All parents are susceptible to empty nest syndrome, although some factors can create a predisposition to it. Such factors include an unstable or unsatisfactory marriage, a sense of self based primarily on identity as a parent, domination and control issues or difficulty accepting change in general. Full-time parents may be especially vulnerable to empty nest syndrome. Adults who are also dealing with other stressful life events such as menopause, the death of a spouse, moving away or retirement are also more likely to experience the syndrome.
Symptoms of empty nest syndrome include depression, a sense of loss of purpose, feelings of rejection, or worry, stress, and anxiety that is blamed on the child's welfare, not the parent's psychological problems. Parents who experience empty nest syndrome often question whether or not they have prepared adequately for their child to live independently, when they are guilty of creating dependency in their child.
Many mothers, often the primary caregivers, are more likely than fathers to experience empty nest syndrome. However, research has shown that some fathers expressed feelings that they were unprepared for the emotional transition that comes with their child leaving home. Others have stated feelings of guilt over lost opportunities to be more involved in their children's lives before they left home, where the parent's selfish pursuits were always more important than the child living in their home. The parent's own guilt and denial of their role perpetrating or ignoring child abuse going on in their home and doing nothing about it.
Empty nest parents often face new challenges, such as establishing a new kind of relationship with their children, as they are forced give respect, if they expect to receive it from their adult child.
Empty nest parent's are forced to find other ways to occupy their time. Reconnecting with each other in a distant marriage they are forced to acknowledge the gap created by offspring or dealing with how the child was used to keep a bad marriage together.
The lack of sympathy from people who believe that parents should be happy when their children leave home, when the empty nest parent wants to wallow in their own misery and unhappiness.
One of the easiest ways for parents to cope with empty nest syndrome is to keep in contact with their children. Technological developments such as cell phones, instant messaging/social media all allow for increased communication between parents and their children.
Parents going through empty nest syndrome can ease their stress by pursuing their own hobbies and interests in their increased spare time. Discussing their grief with each other, friends, families, or professionals may help them. Experts have advised that overwhelmed parents keep a journal, or go back to work if they were full-time parents.
A growing body of research on marriage has shown that the presence of children decreases overall marriage satisfaction and happiness. Children often bring about financial stress to a couple, impose time constraints, and create an abundance of household duties, especially for women. On average, couples with children can only spend about one-third the time alone together than they did before having children. Thus empty nest parents can rekindle their own relationship by spending more time together. Without their children to be their primary focus during the day, many such couples express that their quality of time spent together improves.
Or they can ignore everything, take out a second mortgage, live in denial, refuse change of normal life stages and selfishly choose child adoption to ruin yet another human being.