What Betrayal Looks Like to Me the outcast adoptee
that is miserable to ride in when
you are a truck person, that is an
extremely sad status symbol for an aging impotent man in our society,
represents my adoptive family's betrayal on too many levels. I was enjoying my morning preparing for the imminent storm when I saw the car that caused a family do divide. I started to see red as I drove past an adoptive family's property. My first instinct was to turn around and crash my bullet proof vehicle into the car's delicate fiberglass frame and destroy it once and for all. If I never had to see this car again I would be relieved. If I died while I intentionally crashed into this car it would be called Irony. A bad omen, self-fulfilling prophecy and suicide that morphs into the legends that feed the minds of a small town's needs for hateful gossip that is preferred thick like syrup. As everyone knows one or more versions of the cruel gossip spread to discredit, damage and hurt me all for giving ten years of my kindness, to my elderly adoptive relatives. Before this I was living by choice in ignorant adoption fog. The true irony was drove the adoptive father's jealousy and rage against me as an adopted outsider is the fact that he was a bastard child himself consumed by money, power and social status. Being driven by money, and power are terrible things that I was raised witnessing the complete emptiness that money brought and the betrayal of people that my adoptive father believed he had power and prestige over. The motivation for wealth and power are morally costly and you eventually pay with your soul in death. I fear these earthly pursuits deep down inside me and reject money as anything other than temporary, as I have never let these "white people's" pursuits corrupt my true Indian identity. In watching what drives a wealthy man's life has taught me what is not important, what is brutal truth and what is despicable behavior toward other human beings is the absence of empathy, what having no biological ties can cause a man to destroy himself and those around him with his lack of compassion and surplus of greed. A life spend miserably bickering with an unhappy spouse driven by more wealth as there is never enough to satisfy even the slightest greed in a person.