Emotionally Numb and Emotionally Detatched Adoptees
Adopted children traumatized at birth, continually traumatized
by insensitive adoptive mothers become lost to ourselves, lost to others and emotionally dead inside. I feel nothing or I feel everything to the point of overwhelming emotional feelings that cripple my ability to function. There is no in-between emotional feelings for adoptees. No medium tolerable emotional response or feeling, as it is always extreme. Too little or too much emotional feelings or emotional stimulation reduces me to rubble and homeostasis can't be achieved. If I allow my tears to form, the ocean may pour out of my eyes if I am not on constant alert to this overwhelming feeling that will take my mind hostage and I may loose my grip on reality, so I stay watchful for any signs that may provoke an emotional over-reaction. I don't ever want to feel at the mercy of others ever again, where they are in control and I am not. I have lost it about a dozen times in my life and I hated myself for allowing myself to feel like a hostage to my over the top emotions. I'd rather be numb and in control as no body could ever understand what hell the adopted child lives, and they don't want to know anyhow. As knowing the adopted child's intimate horrific personal experiences would challenge a person's set norms and principles that make them comfortable in their world.
What is the relationship between emotional numbness and extreme emotional sensitivity?