What Adoptive Parent's Refuse to Allow
The adopted child that statistically lags far behind biological children in normal child development, as they are especially slow to establish the cognitive awareness of complex concepts such as adoption. Yet the adopted child is expected to perform above average skills by their adoptive parents in providing adult level interpersonal relationship dialog, showcasing the adopted child's gratitude and thankfulness for being adopted. Adopted child is expected to acknowledge the adoptive parent's efforts, difficulties and financial strain related to the adoption process.
These unrealistic expectations by adoptive parents, of their adopted child that does not possess the cognitive functioning of adults, the normal age related expectations of normal child development and these same conditional demands are never demanded of biologically raised children.....Only adopted children.
The expectation demands of appreciation and scripted sentences that reflect what the adoptive parent desires to hear, are NOT the natural responses of a cognitive developed adopted child, especially of the adult adoptee that will give the opposite answers of what the adoptive parent wants to hear, and will be seen as problematic, acting-out and forced into psychotherapy or worse psychiatric hospitalizations and drugging them into submission.
All of these punishments by adoptive parents for the adopted child's mistake of being honest, he is conditioned by fear to remain silent of all honest answers to adoptive parent's questions. After the conditioning of fear the adopted child will now give only the "scripted sentences" that the adoptive parent demands and desires to hear.
One disturbing aspect of adoption is the adoptive parent's perspective that is expected to be shared by the adopted child. The child is unable to form their own perspectives on complex concepts such as adoption, and will smile and nod to keep the parent happy.
This is not the adopted child's honest feelings about being adopted as he lacks the capacity to comprehend adoption or adoption's impact or how adoption effect the adopted child.
The adolescent adoptee that is nearing cognitive awareness, begins to develop some understanding of what adoption means. But when asked adolescent adopted child what they think about being adopted, the honest answer is too big of a risk as the fear conditioning of being punished for saying what the adoptive parent does not want to hear.
Dishonesty in saying what the adoptive parent "wants to hear" is relevant to adolescent adoptee's freedom or being punished or grounded from speaking honestly saying what the parent "does not want to hear". They will say what adoptive parent wants to hear and the adoptive parent is glorified by this fear provoked lie.
The TRUTH adopted child and mature adolescent adoptee:
#1. Are not happy to be adopted.
The Adopted child is a child with a child's limited mentality, Does not share the adult perspective of the infertile adoptive parents that chose to adopt "ANY" child assigned to them. An ordinary child does not think this way as they are building the capacity for their own cognitive perspectives during childhood development. What is important to an adult is far different than what is important to a child. No child ever wants to be an adopted child, they want their birthright in their biological family.
#2. The adoptive parent's adoption related financial liability and suffering through the intrusive, difficult adoption process.
This is no concern for any child, especially adopted child should never be exposed to or expected to hear about the adult adoptive parent's choices and consequences from their decisions. yet adoptive parents blackmail the adopted child into their own guilt trips about adoption financial liabilities and efforts to obtain an adoption have nothing to do with the adopted child. When adoptive parents insult and intrude on the adopted child's child mind with adult consequences from the adoption process, they obviously did not learn the vital parenting education studied in adoption education courses. The adoptive parent skills are obviously too immature to control their emotional responses to act like grown up adults.
#3. The adoption narrative from the adoptive mother is created by her in her perspective to justify her actions, guilt and projections that are of how she perceives things to be. This story is also dumbed down into a child like fairy tale where the adoptive mother exists alone without the biological mother, father and family
as they are denied and removed from her narrative. What is excluded from the adoptive mother's fairy tale is taboo and never to be talked about. As the removed people do not exist in the adoptive mother's mind and in her perspective.
The adopted child's biological mother, father, siblings and family will one day reunite. The adopted child lives with her biological family in her head as they do exist, they do matter and will be returned to her when she is an adult. When the adopted child reaches adolescence the cognitive development she gains tells her that the childhood adoption story by her adoptive mother does not reflect reality but the the adoptive mother's perspective only, not the adopted adolescent's perspective, as it has never been part of the adoptive mother's narrative and will crumble in time.