Adoptee Rage! This blog is written exclusively for the 38% of Abused and Neglected Adopted Children. The U.S. HHSA Identifies #1 Risk: Maltreatment, Child Abuse and Risk for Death In Adopted children. Childhood domination, Coping compensation. Research in Adoption Psychology, Developmental Trauma"The Adoption Paradox". By Rainstorm Red-Smith
About Adoptee Rage
Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
The Emotionally Disconnected Adoptee Began In Infancy
The Emotional Disconnected Adoptee Began in Infancy
Emotional detachment can be a positive behavior which allows a person to react calmly to highly emotional circumstances/ individuals. Emotional detachment in this sense is a decision to avoid engaging emotional connections, rather than an inability or difficulty in doing so, typically for personal, social, or other reasons.In the traumatized adopted infant, emotional detachment is the consequence from separating an infant from it's mother at birth (the mother-infant-dyad).The infant is thrust into a world being deliberately isolated from the infant-mother-bond where the unborn child existed throughout it's conscious in harmonious equilibrium.
The abandoned infant's first experience is isolation, fear and panic, that defines the infant's experience of the world he occupies in solitude. As the adopted infant grows, he can't decode the messages from the new caregiver, as he does not recognize the signals, smells, sounds and does not identify his mother in anyone. The infant's biological signatures do not match the substitute caregiver and the biological language barrier continues to dull the adopted infant's senses where he feels despair instead of motivation. The adopted infant will never and can never learn the signature biological language of a non-blood relative, new care giver or adoptive parent.
Throughout the adopted child's childhood, he will not learn signature biological voice tones or pitches, biological smells, physical gestures, facial cues or body language of the adopting parent, as the adopted child will have to rely on verbal language to effectively communicate. Unfortunately verbal language only constitutes 30% of a message as biological language makes up the remaining 60% of a message. The adopted child experiences a lifetime of communication mismanagement as the rewarding maternal bond where the biological infant learns to communicate by his shared signature biological language that is maternally driven to accommodate the genetic infant's needs, learning and understanding. Without this maternal foundation, maternally deprived individuals are handicapped cognitively and handicapped in all future relationships throughout their adult lives. to flounder in their attempts.
The unconscious disability or choice to numb or t sense it can allow people to maintain boundaries, psychic integrity and avoid undesired impact by or upon others, related to emotional demands. As such it is a deliberate mental attitude which avoids engaging the emotions of others.
This detachment does not necessarily mean avoiding empathy; rather it allows the person space needed to rationally choose whether or not to be overwhelmed or manipulated by such feelings. Examples where this is used in a positive sense might include emotional boundary management, where a person avoids emotional levels of engagement related to people who are in some way emotionally overly demanding, such as difficult co-workers or relatives, or is adopted to aid the person in helping others such as a person who trains himself to ignore the "pleading" food requests of a dieting spouse, or indifference by parents towards a child's begging.
Emotional detachment can also be used to describe what is often considered "emotional numbing", "emotional blunting", ie dissassociation or in its chronic form depersonalization. This type of emotional numbing or blunting is a disconnection from emotion, it is frequently used as a coping/ survival skill during traumatic childhood events such as abuse or severe neglect. Over time and with much use, this can become second nature when dealing with day to day stressors.
Emotional detachment often arises from childhood psychological trauma and is a component in many anxiety and stress disorders. The person, while physically present, moves elsewhere in the mind, and in a sense is "not entirely present", making them sometimes appear preoccupied.
Thus, such detachment is often not as outwardly obvious as other psyciatric symptoms; Adopted children and adult adoptees with this problem often have emotional systems that are in overdrive such as adopted childhood hypervigilance where the stress problem is first noticed.
The emotionally disconnected Adult Adoptee may have a hard time being a loving family member. They may avoid activities, places, and people associated with any childhood traumatic events they have experienced. The dissociation can also lead to lack of attention and, the intentional act of being present.
The antidepressant use in addition to the childhood trauma experience is one reason to account for emotional detachment.
It is known that SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor) antidepressants, after taken for a while or taken one after another (if the doctor is trying to see what works), can cause what is called "emotional blunting." In this instance, the adopted individual in question is often unable to cry, even if he or she wants to.
In other cases, the person may seem fully present but operate merely intellectually when emotional connection would be appropriate. This may present an extreme difficulty in giving or receiving empathy and can be related to the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder or being raised by an adoptive parent with narcissistic personality disorder and living in fear of overreacting parent.
Emotional detachment also allows acts of extreme cruelty, such as psychological, physical and verbal childhood abuse. The decision to not connect empathically with the person concerned, Social Ostracism such as shunning, biological parent vilification and parental alienation, are other examples where decisions to shut out a person creates a psychological trauma for the shunned party.
Considering these different definitions, the decision as to whether emotional detachment in any given set of circumstances is considered to be a positive or negative mental attitude is a subjective one, and therefore a decision on which different people may not agree.