Adoptive Mother's Gossip
To the adopted child hearing their adoptive mother gossip about them on the phone, in a social group setting, with relatives or friends causes humiliation in the adopted child regardless of their age.
The worst is gossiping about the adopted child right in front of the adopted child as the adoptive mother obviously does not care that the child can hear.
The talk may be good, bad or neutral yet it is still "GOSSIP". The adoptive mother will make many excuses if she is ever questioned about her chronic gossiping about the adopted child...that she is concerned, she has the best intentions etc...the truth that she does not care about the adopted child's feelings or she would shut her mouth or do it in private.
Gossip is humiliating and causes the adopted child to feel more shame and isolation from the adoptive family as the group's matriarch is the one singling out and exploiting the adopted child as different. So unlike raising her own biological offspring that the adopted child is well deserving of her scrutiny.
Everyone wants to know about the adoptive mother's personal sacrifice and difficulty of raising the novelty item adopted child that she endures in the name of charity.
Why Strangers Need to Humiliate the adopted Child in Public?
If adoption is supposed to be so publicly acceptable, So mainstream and common everybody has one....Adopted Child, Why the need to point fingers?
Why do people still need to state the obvious?... to ask questions they already know the answers to, Why are people still compelled to make remarks that isolate, humiliate and reduce the adopted child to a novelty item status?
As though the adopted child is invisible they ask the mother personal and private questions about the adopted child's lost parents and painful beginnings in the grocery store. They state the obvious and inject their own ignorant spin "how could any parent give away such a precious child"...I hate these people!
To me an adopted child that suffered a gossiping mother that loves such questions from strangers she would recite her "adoption speech"about me while present. She loved the attention from strangers that instantly gave her "saint status" they gave me their verbal pity, that objectification that reduced me to the grateful orphan status and reminded me what I should feel. If I offered any rudeness or self-defense against the stranger, My face would be slapped infront of the stranger. I was allowed to sit there and required to smile and remain silent, even though inside me was burning with rage!
I was never an orphan, A baby-scoop era refugee, both of my biological families wanted me but I was sold into adoption because I looked like a white baby and that I am NOT. All adoption assumptions about me were so wrong. After my biological family reunions, I know the truth and the injustice I lived was excruciating!