Adoptive Parent Expect Reciprocal Interpersonal Relationship from the Photo of an Adopted Child.
Adopting parents believe that their personal type of nurturing is unique and beyond the ability of all other persons in the world, especially the child's own biological parents, maternal and paternal family. This type of magical thinking directs unrealistic expectations of the traumatized adopted infant or child's abilities. These unreasonable expectations and reality-lacking projections of the future parent-child demands of a reciprocal relationship is overwhelming to the adopted child, as these adopters are frightening and complete strangers to the child.
The adopters say they "fell in-love" with a photo of a child, that is psychologically impossible, as to assume an emotional connection with a paper image, where the adopter injects their own magical thinking of pure fantasy.
An interpersonal relationship as outlined below, takes time and reciprocal interactions on an adult level takes maturity that children do not possess.
The adopted child is expected to instantly respond positively to the new stranger without the normal problems of a child dealing with a stranger.
An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment like "child adoption". Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, and church. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.
Power and dominance
- Acquaintance and acquaintanceship – Becoming acquainted depends on previous relationships, physical proximity first impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely. Another example is association.
- Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other. The need for intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will influence whether or not interaction continues.
- Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to quite a strong and close long-term friendships, romantic relationship, or even marriage. It is generally a long, relatively stable period. Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship.
- Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble. Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may communicate less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral continues, eventually ending the relationship. (Alternately, the participants may find some way to resolve the problems and reestablish trust and belief in others.)
- Ending – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by breakups, death, or by spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or romantic love.
- A list of interpersonal skills includes:
- Verbal communication – What we say and how we say it.
- Nonverbal communication – What we communicate without words, body language is an example.
- Listening skills – How we interpret both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
- Negotiation – Working with others to find a mutually agreeable outcome.
- Problem solving – Working with others to identify, define and solve problems.
- Decision making – Exploring and analysing options to make sound decisions.
- Assertiveness – Communicating our values, ideas, beliefs, opinions, needs and wants freely.
Relationship satisfactionSocial exchange theory and Rusbult's investment model shows that relationship satisfaction is based on three factors: rewards, costs, and comparison levels (Miller, 2012). Rewards refer to any aspects of the partner or relationship that are positive. Adversely, costs are the negative or unpleasant aspects of the partner or their relationship. Comparison level includes what each partner expects of the relationship. The comparison level is influenced by past relationships, and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends.