About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Monday, August 1, 2016

Adoptive Parents Expect Instant Relationship From the Photo of a Child

ADOPTEE RAGE!

Adoptive Parent Expect Reciprocal Interpersonal Relationship from the Photo of an Adopted Child.
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Adopting parents believe that their personal type of nurturing is unique and beyond the ability of all other persons in the world, especially the child's own biological parents, maternal and paternal family. This type of magical thinking directs unrealistic expectations of the traumatized adopted infant or child's abilities. These unreasonable expectations and reality-lacking projections of the future parent-child demands of a reciprocal relationship is overwhelming to the adopted child, as these adopters are frightening and complete strangers to the child.  

The adopters say they "fell in-love" with a photo of a child, that is psychologically impossible, as to assume an emotional connection with a paper image, where the adopter injects their own magical thinking of pure fantasy.

An interpersonal relationship as outlined below, takes time and reciprocal interactions on an adult level takes maturity that children do not possess.
The adopted child is expected to instantly respond positively to the new stranger without the normal problems of a child dealing with a stranger.
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An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular business interactions, or some other type of social commitment like "child adoption". Interpersonal relationships are formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family or kinship relations, friendship, marriage, relations with associates, work, and church. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.

Social exchange

Another way to appreciate the importance of relationships is in terms of a reward framework. This perspective suggests that individuals engage in relations that are rewarding in both tangible and intangible ways. The concept fits into a larger theory of social exchange. This theory is based on the idea that relationships develop as a result of cost-benefit analysis. Individuals seek out rewards in interactions with others and are willing to pay a cost for said rewards. In the best-case scenario, rewards will exceed costs, producing a net gain. This can lead to "shopping around" or constantly comparing alternatives to maximize the benefits or rewards while minimizing costs.

Relational self

Relationships are also important for their ability to help individuals develop a sense of self. The relational self is the part of an individual’s self-concept that consists of the feelings and beliefs that one has regarding oneself that develops based on interactions with others. In other words, one’s emotions and behaviors are shaped by prior relationships. Thus, relational self theory posits that prior and existing relationships influence one’s emotions and behaviors in interactions with new individuals, particularly those individuals that remind him or her of others in his or her life. Studies have shown that exposure to someone who resembles a significant other activates specific self-beliefs, changing how one thinks about oneself in the moment more so than exposure to someone who does not resemble one's significant other.

Power and dominance


Power is the ability to influence the behavior of other people. When two parties have or assert unequal levels of power, one is termed "dominant" and the other "submissive". Expressions of dominance can communicate intention to assert or maintain dominance in a relationship. Being submissive can be beneficial because it saves time, emotional stress, and may avoid hostile actions such as withholding of resources, cessation of cooperation, termination of the relationship, maintaining a grudge, or even physical violence.
In business relationships, such as child adoption relationship is a "silent partner" the Adopted Child, is one who adopts a submissive position in all aspects, but retains no financial ownership or a share of the profits.
Two parties can be dominant in different areas. For example, in a friendship or romantic relationship, one person may have strong opinions about where to eat dinner, whereas the other has strong opinions about how to decorate a shared space. It could be beneficial for the party with weak preferences to be submissive in that area, because it will not make them unhappy and avoids conflict with the party that would be unhappy.
The breadwinner model is associated with gender role assignments where the male in a heterosexual marriage would be dominant in all areas.

Stages

Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and form new relationships with others. One of the most influential models of relationship development was proposed by psychologist George Levinger. This model was formulated to describe heterosexual, adult romantic relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of interpersonal relations as well. According to the model, the natural development of a relationship follows five stages:
  1. Acquaintance and acquaintanceship – Becoming acquainted depends on previous relationships, physical proximity first impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people begin to like each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can continue indefinitely. Another example is association.
  2. Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other. The need for intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will influence whether or not interaction continues.
  3. Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to quite a strong and close long-term friendships, romantic relationship, or even marriage. It is generally a long, relatively stable period. Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship.
  4. Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of trouble. Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may communicate less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral continues, eventually ending the relationship. (Alternately, the participants may find some way to resolve the problems and reestablish trust and belief in others.)
  5. Ending – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by breakups, death, or by spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or romantic love.

  6. A list of interpersonal skills includes:
  7. Verbal communication – What we say and how we say it.
    • Nonverbal communication – What we communicate without words, body language is an example.
    • Listening skills – How we interpret both the verbal and non-verbal messages sent by others.
    • Negotiation – Working with others to find a mutually agreeable outcome.
    • Problem solving – Working with others to identify, define and solve problems.
    • Decision making – Exploring and analysing options to make sound decisions.
    • Assertiveness – Communicating our values, ideas, beliefs, opinions, needs and wants freely.

    Relationship satisfaction

    Social exchange theory and Rusbult's investment model shows that relationship satisfaction is based on three factors: rewards, costs, and comparison levels (Miller, 2012). Rewards refer to any aspects of the partner or relationship that are positive. Adversely, costs are the negative or unpleasant aspects of the partner or their relationship. Comparison level includes what each partner expects of the relationship. The comparison level is influenced by past relationships, and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends.