Why Adult Adoptees Can Speak Honestly
The difficulty in being an adopted child is surviving adopted childhood.
If an underage adopted child were to speak out their honest, spontaneous truth they would be railroaded into the nearest psychiatric hospital and drugged into silence, for "ACTING-OUT".
Even adopted children know the consequences of allowing their personal truth to escape their lips...."Punishment" and the real possibility of being psychotropicly drugged. Most adopted children that speak from their heart art immediately taken to psychotherapy, to get the adopted child's truth changed to a more "adoptive parent "friendly" thought process.
To most adopted children there is an unwritten rule about speaking the "truth",
we adoptees are not allowed to speak our truth, we are permitted to speak the adoptive parent's truth only! This is learned the hard way with repeated slaps across the face for saying things we feel inside, that are offensive to our adoptive parents.
We are conditioned by our adoptive parents too young about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable to say. Unfortunately to us kids this teaches us to be liars! As we are taught to say what the adoptive parent wants to hear, and not the truth that we see or feel.
We are taught to lie and give the same lie over each time we write or say our adopted child name, which is a lie. We have a real name that is kept from us. Our adoptive parents know our real names but won't tell us as they don't want us to have any power in who we really are that they deny us our real identities.
We adoptees have been programmed to lie since we learned to talk, and to please our adoptive parents we must always tell them what they want to hear, and not the truth that lives secretly in our hearts. Adopted childhood is a time of child innocence, ignorance and secrecy that makes us "good" compliant adopted children.
When we grow into adolescence we gain cognitive awareness and begin to understand the enormous impact of how adoption effects us in a negative way.
In adolescence the comprehension of adoption is a troubling time where we adopted children can't form a true or real identity at the same time where our biologically raised peers are developing their identity, we lack the vital information that leads to normal identity development.
For many adopted adolescents the stress is too much and we deny the problems we feel to remain agreeable to our adoptive parents, or spend all of our time on restriction for acting-out. Being an adult adoptee is "acting-out" or "speaking the truth" about how we have always felt in childhood and now, without the threat of punishment by adoptive parents.