The distorted mind of the Narcissist mother
The Vanity and Desire In Public Appearance
The adoptive mother's psychologically distorted perception of how everyone in her world must see her.....As a beautiful, youthful and popular woman, an upstanding member of the socially affluent Christian church, dedicated to social and church charity projects, socially acknowledged prestigious wife and mother devoted to her offspring.
The narcissist adoptive mother's effort to maintain her vanity at all cost, cheats herself out of happiness, relationships and truth. The relationships with peers are shallow and disposable. There is never longterm friendships that are consistent through the years, as the narcissist's constant rifts, gossip, backstabbing and triangulation cause those relationships to abruptly end, is what is constant about her relationships.
When any negative or painful situation is made publicly known, the narcissist will create her own version of events that conflict with reality, or use diversion tactics to save (public) face. The loss of a child is a very public event, infertility and stillbirth. The narcissist's bruised pride will recalculate her strategy by adopting a child to redeem her suffering at the hands of public scrutiny and gossip. The narcissist adoptive mother now emerges as a hero in the public sphere, by "saving a paper orphan from their heredity". The narcissist gains public revere and celebration of their selfless actions, although the actions were completely selfish based demands. In turn the narcissist adoptive mother becomes the poster child of selflessness, which is as ironic as the ignorant gossiping public that worships the narcissist's vanity.