About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Health History in Biological Family


Inherited Diseases are a Fact of Life Denied in Adoptees

The compiling of biological family history is a long process based on the trust and quality in biological family relationships. 
The ignorant and unrealistic expectations by adoptive parents, for the adult adopted child to "get in, get the medical history and get out". 
This selfish assumption and requirement by adoptive parents for contingent-approval of the adoptee's reunion based on getting that history only with no development of a relationship.

In reality, the new biological relationship with all genetic family members takes time, patients and mutual trust. Biological families are closed systems where outsiders are seen as suspect
and potential danger. The adoptee's patients, mutual respect and trust builds over time. The adoptee's new relationships with biological family members can be healing for both when there is no pressure to get something from them, and there should never be a motive like the extracting of other individuals private medical data, especially for the adoptee.

The trust is gained in the building, maintaining and the reciprocating of personal disclosures is the basis for all interpersonal relationships, especially for the biological reunion relationships between adoptees and their maternal and paternal biological families.

If anyone were to ask "what is my family medical history" the resulting answer will always be "nothing comes to mind". In reality through interpersonal relationships with all bio family members, the stories they tell of long ago, about their parents (the adoptee's grand and great grand parents) the siblings (aunts and uncles of the adoptee) and children (the children the adoptee's siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews etc..) the medical problems are revealed slowly through shared experience of biological family narratives. 

That naturally flow from the biological family's lived experiences. Their recollections of family deaths will reveal causes of death and related diseases and genetic disorders. The only way for the adoptee in reunion to gain family medical history is by the adoptee's natural drive and motivation to develop their biological family relationships to become one of them again. 

In my experience, I have herd many times the answer "there is no medical problems that come to mind". This a natural response to the question of genetic diseases in the family
as the family's health problems is the biological family's biographical story that takes multiple narrators and a lot of time to unfold and be told in the family member's own good time.

Fortunately I was a nurse, so my medical training was a great help to me in understanding family deaths, illnesses and diseases that seem to be played out in the present. With my own health problems, my offspring, my grand and great grandparents, my mother and father and their family illness are echoed in me and my children.

While adoption has been monumentally unfair to me psychologically, to my health, my diseases, and my offspring's manifestation of disease, knowing my biological family could have kept me from a lifetime of suffering health problems and aid in healing them. 

What is kept me (the adopted child) suffering the diseases throughout my childhood from illness that is common to my biological family, my own children's cancer and medical necessity for a biological relative match to save her life is denied by the adoption culture's selfish protection of the adoptive parents who can't save a non-genetic child from dying. 

The reality of piecing together my paternal and maternal families health problems, diseases and reasons for death has led me to comprehend my own health problems that were made worse by being adopted. 

The separation trauma, childhood maltreatment that continued throughout my adult life causing Developmental-PTSD, reduced brain mass and functioning due to neglect and rejection by my adoptive mother, that can never be healed. Adoption secrecy keeps adoptee's in the dark, forever suffering long passed childhood. 

I learned so much about my family and myself in reunion because I was honest, genuine and patient....ready to listen to any story they would tell me, all stories mattered and still do in helping me heal the wound caused by adoption and being abused in my adoptive family. 

I learned that the dynamics of my paternal and maternal family's biology is essential to understanding my own complex diseases. Plagued with too many inherited diseases, disorders, behavioral risks, bad habits, good habits, personality traits and natural tendencies, and all of the empathy and vulnerability that all human beings possess. 

My biological family has given me acceptance, clues and maps that show who I truly am, outside of the lies and deceptions I was conditioned by in adopted childhood. I am not the "adopted child role" that I was forced to act out in childhood. I am an individual with talents, compassion and natural gifts that have persisted throughout life that I will not deny myself anymore.