Closed-Adoption Adoptive Parent Mentality
The quagmire of closed-adoption mentality in the adoptive parents impacts the population of closed adoption adopted children negatively in all aspects of their life.
This population of adoptive parents adopted a child to fulfill their own pressing and immediate needs to possess a child.
The psychology of the closed adoption practice is used as a scapegoat as
"what the adoption agencies told adoptive parents at that time"
was never improved upon and refusal to self-educate by reading about adopted children's perceptions of being adopted.
The Adoptee written books, blogs, essays and writing about "what it is like for adopted children" was dismissed by these adoptive parents as being selfish, hateful and ungrateful as they are forever labeled "adopted CHILDREN", although the writers are far into maturity and adulthood at their time of authoring about adoption.
Closed-Era adoption was based on adoption marketing that was published into pamphlets distributed to the ignorant public that were believed to be valid information "by experts", but were nothing more that advertising to the ignorant buyer.
The ignorant public never questioned the validity of the adoption related publications, and as we see this practice now regulated in pharmaceutical marketing, the adverse effects must be documented in the advertising.
Closed adoption era parents prefer closed adoption as they need to be in control and have sole ownership over their newly purchased adoptive child.
Adoption reunion was taboo for closed adoption era adoptions, but these social norms are based on what the adoptive parent wants, demands and fears of the biological parent's future inclusion into their child's life.
The adoptive parent's fear and jealousy of the biological parent
that is ever present in the mind of the adopted child, are dismissed and labeled "fantasy thinking" by closed era adoption professionals. The professional psychological community has done a grave disservice to the population of adopted children and adult adoptees with biased studies that promote closed adoption "to benefit the child". As studies predate the closed adoption era identify psychological damage from being cut off from biological family and identity replacement to benefit the adoptive family have done permanent damage to the population of adopted children.
The adoptive parent of the closed era, believed in the principals of what the closed era promised them, and now we have a new population of estranged baby-boomer era adoptive parents that claim ignorance in the adult adoptee's distance from them.
Adopted children have no past, no valid identity and no physical connection to anyone, that which makes them unable to comprehend the past or the future.
There is NO closure for adopted individuals, only the fragments of clues left behind from the destroyed puzzle of their life that adoptees are biologically driven to piece their life back together.
The adoption reunion has nothing to do with the adoptive parents unless the adoptee was raised by an adoptive parent that did serve the best interest of the adopted child.
To the Adoptee, their adoption reunion is private, coveted and the glimmer of hope that forever exists in the mind of the adoptee that might make them whole for the first time in life.
To allow their adoptive mother inside their hear, to use the adoptee's truth and taint it with uncertainty to fuel the adoptive mother's gossip and make the reunion about the jealous adoptive mother will be as expected a disaster. To some adoptee's the hope in the biological reunion is the only thing that the adoptee has ever possessed. Future relationships take time and effort...as "there is NO Closure in biological reunions".
The reunion for the adoptee is devalued by the adoptive parent as they will cause the adoptee shame, doubt and grief if they share it with their adoptive parent. If they allow the adoptive parent inside the adoptee's "bubble of truth" it will break as the adoptive parent's resistance is filled with the past adopted life of lies, vilification, denial and accusations, threats that are intentionally in place to destroy the adoptee's secret truth of hope in future reunion with biological family. The biological reunion belongs to the adoptee, it is their story for the first time in their life to hold dear and to with-hold from those that would devalue the adoptee's happiness.