At The Mercy of the Adoptive Mother
The adoptive mother holds all control over the adopted child in our society, as the United States is one of three countries in the world that refuses to ratify the United Nation's "Universal Child Rights act".
In adoption related studies, adopted child related psychological studies and social welfare system post-adoption follow up, the adoptive mother always speaks for the adopted infant, child or adolescent.
The blogs by social workers on adoption disruption commonly post that the adoptive mothers refuse to disclose new and current problems in adoptive parent-child interactions. The A-parent sees the social worker as the enemy intruding into the privacy of the adoptive mother's life.
Without evidence of problems the social worker believes that the adoption bonding is proceeding well. The social worker is then shocked when weeks to months later the adoptive parent says "come and get this horrible kid". The adoptive mother has hid the facts of what was happening leading up to the point of "adoption disruption". Adoptive parent has become in tolerant of their adoptive child, and wants them gone.
The a-mother refuses to speak honestly with the social worker during the social workers repeated weekly welfare checks. The adoptive mother's Refusal to seek professional assistance or go through the normal steps in place for adoptive families when problems occur.
This dialog is frequently seen by social workers overseeing adoption placements that always leads to adoption disruption. The worst part is that these same adoptive mothers go on to adopt other children after relinquishing their adopted child back into the social welfare system.
This trend of adoptive parent's non-disclosure to social workers is nothing new and on a massive scale represents the population of adoptive mothers that psychologically and physically abuse their adoptive children for their own disappointment in the child.
Some vanity and social dependent adoptive mothers refuse to submit to publicly scrutiny for re-homing or sending their adopted child back, the basis for keeping their problem adopted child is fear of public disapproval....the standard that these narcissistic adoptive mother base their lives on.
The adopted child that lives at the mercy of their adoptive mother, their life is being controlled, dominated and in the process to survive their abusive adopted childhood they adapt to the needs, whims and desires of their demanding adoptive mother.
These are the adoptees that end their lives in suicide, prison, mental hospitals or become in personality the combination of their defense mechanisms for survival. These adoptees emerge into adulthood without the life skills to adapt and go on to live undesirable existences.
The true measure of an abused adopted child is their lack of self-esteem, lack of self-worth and lack of survival adopted identity that is caused by adhering for life to the acceptable "adopted child role" that only served to temporarily please the adoptive mother. The adult that continues to play for the adoptive mother, their childhood persona of the "adopted child role", finds that they hate playing this role, other adoptees feel it suits them to passify the mother's needs when in the presence of adoptive mother.
The adoptees that hate the "adopted child role" hate themselves when forced to be this person. They feel it reduces them to a place of helplessness, anger and lying to themselves as adult human beings. The adoptee that refuses to play the "adopted child role" for the adoptive mother in adulthood are accused of having mental problems, anger issues and the adoptive mother ridicules them into playing the role or they are refused by her.