About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Adoptive Parent's Deception and Lying


Adoptive Parent's Lying and Deception

The deception by parents is a universally manipulating tactic used to gain selfish effects, at the expense of the child's trust.

The adoptive parent's intentional verbal deception directed at the adopted child is motivated by the parent's needs, wants and desires.  The adopted child is manipulated to the worst extent with lies that cover up who the child truly is. The adoption industry deceives adoptive parents with outdated psychological tactics that are proven to cause more harm than good. 
Phrases and marketing slogans that sugarcoat the unpleasant adoption related facts and transform the terrible truth of being abandoned by the biological mother into words like "chosen" to describe how happy the child should feel. Yet the adopted child's reality is not made happy by the word chosen, when in fact the word chosen means to the adoptee "chosen to be abandoned", "chosen to be an outsider" and "chosen to suffer from a false identity". The adopted child will pacify the adoptive parents by pretending and acting out the good "adopted child role" to please their adoptive parents and survive the 18 year ordeal. 

When adoptive parents lie to their children they are hurting them deeply. When a child knows the truth and when his parents contradict this knowledge, the child ends up doubting himself. Healthy children learn to trust their inner sense of right and wrong at a young age because their parents encourage this. This teaches the child that he is a reliable source of accurate information and a capable resource for the truth. When a child is told that his truth is a lie, his self-doubt generalizes to a distrust of the outside world. Children will begin to act out in response to the contradiction they are being told; what they know is true, is untrue. Being able to trust oneself as a child is a building block for a healthy personality.
When parents tell a child that what they know to be true, in fact is not, they cause their child to choose between trusting themselves and trusting their parents. This is not a choice a child can make and remain intact and healthy.
Adopted children are not gullible and they can in fact sense when parents are lying to them, causing them to distrust the very people who are their caretakers. Children also know when parents are withholding information, exaggerating and changing the truth.
Adoptive parents say that they want to protect their children from the truth, but they are manipulating the truth for their own benefit and perception of how they wish their world to be.
Deceiving the adopted child and lying leaves children still knowing the truth and wondering why their parents are lying about it.  Lying to adopted children teaches them to lie themselves, creating a self fulfilling prophecy like the parents, tell lies about how they wish their world could be. In the end the adult adoptee realizes their childhood was based on their adoptive parent's fantasy and not reality, the adoptee's life was based on childhood lies.