The "Personal Truth" In Adoptee's
The Personal Truth.....Is not socially acceptable, It is
unpleasant to many, Is uncomfortable to most and denied
by all. As a personal truth belongs solely to the individual that
constitutes their undeniable reality.
The Adoptee's personal Truth...They were forced abandoned, forced separated from their family and forced into a "Paper Orphan" status....which is not true.
The Adopted Child's True Identity was erased, discarded and hidden away from the child itself. The adopted child was given a false new identity, a new name is forced on the child and the child is forced to accept the new name, forced to identify with the new name....which is a lie.
The adopted child is forced to live the identity lie,
Is forced to lie about who he is, Is taught to lie about
his true self...who the adopted child is, is a lie.
The adopted child is forced to assimilate into the
"Adopted Child Role", to ACT and adapt to the adoptive parent's
personality. The adopted child is forced to live in denial of his own unique personality, characteristics and attributes to survive his adoptive environment.
The adopted child is punished and treated with hostility and indifference, when his true nature accidentally or infrequently emerges. The adopted child learns that his "Personal Truth" is bad. The adopted child is taught NOT to trust his true nature, his natural tendencies, talents, gifts or biological motivations.
The adopted child plays the "adopted child role" throughout childhood, yet in adulthood he is a failure in his life and to his perception of his self. When he denies his true self he is lost forever without the recognition and acknowledgement of one's biological and genetic truths that constitute who he is. That which has been denied is the only path to define an individual.
The only path to healing for adult adoptees is to embrace what what was forbidden in childhood...To unlearn the denial and deny what was forced on them. The ambiguity that the adoptive parents showed when the adopted child showed his true nature is the clue. Why they did not like who the child truly is in their genetic truth, is due to the adoptive parents ignorance, selfishness, suspicion, stereotyping and why they vilify the adopted child's biological parents. The AP see the bio parent as bad people, sub-human, lower class and the enemy to the adoptive parent. When in truth the adoptive parent should be thankful, and most importantly humbled by them. The biological parents should be given the greatest degree of compassion to the biological parents of their adopted child, for their gift of parenting to the adoptive parents. In rare, selfless open adoptions that "remain open" throughout the adopted child's childhood, is in the best psychological and healthcare benefit to the adopted child's well-being.
The "universal truth" is that the adopted child IS their biological parents! When the adult adoptee cycles through reunion, reflection and digestion of information, good-bad-ugly, the biological truths begin to spill out and are instantly known to the adoptee. The things, personality, habits, likeness, awareness, biological behaviors, etc., that were suppressed in adopted childhood are instantly recognized, restored, awareness of and known to the adoptee. Of course it takes years to process a lifetime of suppressed, known and new information to be utilized and accepted within one's mind. The adoptee's answers sought were always available within the adoptee. When logical information is denied and suppressed, they are buried deep within our truths, layer by layer the adoptee's psyche does have unique gifts and benefits that the biological population is without.
When we adoptees are ready, and not a moment before, we are psychologically capable of processing this adoption paradox but we need time....Alone, without any other's input, opinions, guilt-trips, influence, blackmail and my favorite "triangulation".
Thank You Very Little for distorting, neglecting and abusing my childhood perception, crippling my adult coping mechanisms and the psychological manipulation that is a constant struggle to forget or overcome...As I know IT WAS ALL A LIE, my life, my existence as well as my long tired acting skills performing "the adopted child role", I will resent this for the rest of my life.