Kicking the Adopted Child Out of the Adoptive Family
and Into the Street
As an adopted child, the constant threat to return me to the adoption agency that originally sold me to my adoptive family. To be replaced by a better, smarter and more devoted adopted child that would take better care of their toys, clean up their bedroom and be more appreciative of their adoptive family. These weekly childhood threats came mostly from my adoptive mother and middle child brother, as the adoptive mother's constant rejection, nit picking and annoyance at the isolated adopted child that would rather play alone in silence than hang around with the critical adoptive mother, and her son that lost attention by the adopted child that replaced his dead baby sister. The threats grew more intense as a teen into the subject of being thrown out of the adoptive family and being kicked out of the adoptive home. The escalating arguments over the parents evening cocktails would turn into verbal and physical fights, altercations and confrontations.....Especially sour when the parents are returning home late from a long night of drinking.
Their vile arguments morph into personal attacks and cruel character assassinations follow as the children awaken from hearing that familiar and dreaded dance
of drunken jealousy, marital disappointment and the need to one-up the other now that the child audience has assembled on the staircase. To watch and witness a drunk mom and dad go another 12 rounds to save "drunk-face" that will be intentionally forgotten, ignored and denied tomorrow. The problem between angry and married drunk couples
is that they refuse and just will not pass out or go to bed. Then the anger is turned on the children watching. What intoxicated parents say to their children tonight, regardless if they choose to deny it or remember those terrible words tomorrow, the child will always remember everything word for word due to the child's fear, anxiety and the fact that their world may be coming to an end by the argument of their parents. To the child any fight is a terrible thing to witness as a child sees, hears as he witness the fight in literal terms of the statements the parents make during a fight are monumental to a child. The intoxicated parents blame the children, blame each other and their irrational behavior impacts the child for the rest of his life. Each time my adoptive parents threw me out, they had been drinking and were overreacting to everything, especially in regard to the adopted child as the family's scapegoat of blame. To throw me out of the family's home was never worthy of an apology, a discussion and would be denied if I brought it up or my adoptive mother would repeatedly say "we were just kidding".
The impact from living each day of my adopted childhood as a visitor, knowing I was a temporary adopted child and likely would be thrown into the street was a constant source of fear that continues today to psychologically impact my existence as a broke adopted person.
Exploration of throwing Your Child Into the Street
"Kicking Your Teenager Out"