About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Adopted Children's Psychological Slavery


The Psychological Slavery Of Adopted Children

Adopted Children's Psychological Slavery

Understanding the complexity of psychological slavery.

According to relevant literature, slavery has been a legal institution in which one person         (the adopted child "slave") is the property of another (the adoptive parent "master").        Slavery dates back to ancient times, but contemporary international treaties                      (Slavery Convention of 1926) consider slavery a crime against humanity,                                        yet The Child Adoption Industry in the United States is at an all time high providing industry         profits from 1.4 billion dollar annual revenue from the sale of human babies.
However, slavery and human exploitation still exist especially in regard to child adoption traffic. Along with the adopted child, we are left with a legacy of psychological slavery that we see in many adoptive homes where highly abusive relationships prevail.
Many studies in the field of psychology and sociology explain psychological slavery based on an incident which occurred in 1973, (Stockholm Syndrome) where two robbers entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden with guns and dynamite, took four hostages- three women and a man- and held them hostage for 131 hours. After their rescue, the hostages showed a peculiar behavior. These people who had been threatened, abused, and intimidated felt gratitude towards their captors and tried to protect them when expert investigations were made. One of the women became emotionally attached to one of the assailants and another began a campaign to raise funds for the legal defense of the criminals.
As strange as it sounds, although common, similar situations occur in daily life of abused adopted children, battered women in relationships, prisoners of war, victims of incest, and generally in families where there is physical and emotional abuse.
The explanation lies in our survival instinct, (described here as Stockholm Syndrome).       When the lives of abused adopted child victims depend on the action of their assailants, the abusive and psychologically manipulative adoptive parents. The emotional reactions of some abused adopted child victims turn into gratitude as they continue to survive their forced adoptive placements.   Just as slaves may have also expressed gratitude when they were given tolerable living conditions. Similarly, in many contemporary families the abused adopted child victims, feeling hopeless, develop positive feelings toward the abusive adoptive mother, rationalize the cruelty and accept the adoptive parent's abusive treatment. The abusive behavior is considered normal to the adopted child that knows no other way of being treated except negative regard. The abused adopted child react negatively to outsiders who try to rescue them, and have difficulty freeing themselves from this emotional torment as adopted children unconsciously live in perpetual fear of another abandonment, and know no other way of relating to authority figure adoptive parent except for the fear and submission that they have only known in their forced adopted relationship. 
For psychological slavery to occur, research studies have found four typical situations:
◦ Perception of threat, physical or psychological, and the conviction that misfortune will really            and does occur;
◦ Appreciation of small acts of kindness by the abusive adoptive parent towards the abused            adopted child victim;
◦ Abused adopted children are commonly Isolated from other adoptive family members, friends       and outsiders;
◦ The conviction that the abused adopted child is unable to escape the situation as being an             abused adopted child is their plight in life, that they are socially expected to be grateful for. 
Just as in the case of the bank hostages in Sweden, interpersonal relationships where there is an abuse of power, child adoption establish a similar pattern which is impossible to escape, resulting in psychological slavery, servitude and the reality for adopted children is being owned.
Threats may be direct or indirect. The threat may even be directed toward other adoptive family members. When the abused adopted child feels threatened, the reaction is to find hope in anything that will strengthen the will to survive. When the adoptive parent abuser or controller offers small acts of kindness such as a glass of water, the adopted child victim may think that behind the maliciousness, the perpetrator has positive feelings and good intentions. As a consequence, a "psychological connection" of gratitude for still being alive is established.
The adopted child victim may rationalize and justify the cruel and unjust adoptive parent's behavior. Moreover, they may genuinely try to help the adoptive parent perpetrator emotionally, feeling the pain of the adoptive parent instead of their own pain and suffering.
When an adopted child lives in a world of abuse and control, that person quickly learns to be careful of what to say or do, for fear of provoking the adoptive parent's unrest that might result in violence. As a result, the adopted child victim tries to please the adoptive parent abuser or controller by worrying about everything that could disturb them and by trying to satisfy the wants and needs of the adoptive parent abuser or controller to keep the peace at any cost. Unfortunately, this attitude helps perpetuate the abuse. The adoptive parent abuser learns to demand more to practice control and power. In turn, the adopted child victim must remain isolated so that the adoptive parent abuser can continue manipulating the adopted child victim with criticism and accusations. The adopted child victim agrees to be isolated to avoid conflict and embarrassment, humiliation and detaches from friends and adoptive family members. Overwhelmed by abuse and already depressed, the adopted child victim comes to accept the situation and considers it part of their adopted plight in life.
Freeing oneself from this kind of relationship can be very difficult, even impossible. The adopted child victims often feel bound not only emotionally, but also because of financial obligations, legal issues, the
children´s future, emotional blackmail, gas-lighting and/or the adoptive parent's constant threats of death or suicide to keep the adopted child submissive and available. 
Understanding the complexity of psychological slavery in abused adopted children preserves the possibility of helping psychologically abused and manipulated adopted children, keeping a connection, contributing to their self-esteem, and opening the door when the time comes to escape the mental chains of forced child adoption.