The Next Steps Beyond Adoption Reunion
As an adoptee 5 years post reunion, the peace that I was seeking is farther away than ever. I now know that I am on an existential journey to find meaning in my life. As being someone's bought and paid for adopted child has given me nothing to grow spiritually as a person. Especially true for the adoptive family's forced religion of fear and damnation, the platform of their belief states that I am the heathen that needs to be intentionally broken in spirit, in self determination and yet the religion marks me from being whole as I am born from SIN, in my illegitimate nature, saved by the adoptive saviors, and to live by worshiping the adoptive parent saviors and not to worship their god as I am below the christian status of being clean and worthy of grace.
For the first time in my life, I can look at my round race in the mirror and be proud of my Native American Cherokee Heritage. My Indian appearance makes me proud for the first time in my life, my straight hair, my round cheeks, my empathy, my honor, my suffering and my reverence for the earth and all of the animals of which I have always refused to eat bear the ancestry that lives within me.
As I look back on my life I can see no benefit for myself, only the suffering of a child that is forbidden to know who she is. It was not until I found my Cherokee ancestors that I began to understand who I am. Yet I always did know who I was NOT. The adopted child that played the role of unwanted daughter, the adopted child who repulsed my adoptive mother and father, for I never belonged to them in my heart and they never belonged to me in their heart. I was a breed apart and made no sense to them, although they never attempted to try to understand me, and I would spend my childhood trying to understand and pretend to be like them although It was against my genetic principles and still is. To believe that appearances are more important that connections, to want money over friendship and to act as though we are superior to others, when we are not. The arrogance, hatred and bigotry of the white adopters was a difficult place to pretend to be one of them. To talk to others and later to speak cruelty and hatred against them is an assault to humanity, a greed and a dishonorable way to destroy friends and adoptive family members that are seen as inferior to the superior, that are no longer of use.
The white family that raised me taught me to be cruel, to hate and to look away at the misfortune and suffering that plagues our world. To believe that money can buy a person's happiness is a deception clearly worthy of evil people with an evil soul.
I often wonder why I was subjected to my childhood torment at the hands of my cruel adoptive parents..... Am I paying for my own Karmic debts?
Was I possibly the reincarnation of an adoption facilitator that bought and sold the suffering of children for financial profits?
As My life is nearing the end I ponder these questions and wonder if I am truly doing good or perpetuating the evil that my fellow adoptees suffer.
The disservice or boosting the knowledge of truth by writing my own miserable truths so that the voiceless adopted children can be herd.
Will there ever come a time for adopted children to be set free from the psychological bondage of the child adoption industry?
Will the time come for lawmakers in congress to do the right thing and not what is politically correct to perpetuate the selling and trafficking of the child adoption industry that feeds off of the suffering of others?
The adoption industry causes great psychological damage, grief and pain in children and their birth parents, all to profit by selling a human child to someone with the financial privilege of wealth.
Although the adoption industry is a dirty business of stealing, lying and forbidden legal secrecy, it is immoral and inhumane to those who bear the silence for the demand and the desires of the wealthy others.
Will adoptee's ever escape the stigma of being adopted. Will adoptee's ever be able to know their own names or know who their parents are? Will the U.S. society ever rise above the materialism driven demands of the empty people?