Being Abandoned and Adopted Once, Is Too Much
They say it was for our own good, but the current abuses in the system prove that the people acting on our best interest, had their own financial best interest in mind. The baby scoop era proved to be a scandalous, cruel and forced situation that innocent and vulnerable pregnant mothers were taken advantage of to the fullest extent. We adoptee's can't trust anything that we are told by the players in the baby trafficking, especially the buyers...the adoptive parents....That will take any illegal, immoral and self incriminating evidence to their graves, as they got just what they wanted, someone else's baby to pretend they belonged to.
Adoptive parent's today refuse to hear any adoptee voices, refuse to have any empathy for the mother of whom they stole away her baby, or empathy for that baby, now an adult that will no longer listen to their fantasy story about adoption, being the special of the day or our own dignity of which they refuse to allow.
People wonder why adoption has ruined us, deceived us and made us bitter about being stolen for the social recognition of being saved by our adoptive parents of which we never needed saving. Being born an illegitimate bastard, although legally adopted, I am still an illegitimate bastard to myself. Even knowing I have a biological father that had no choice and a stubborn biological mother that worried about public appearances and her reputation. In fact the social public that my mother bowed down to still labeled her a slut for getting pregnant, then they labeled her heartless for giving away her newborn child. What about the child whose life hangs between the right and wrong decisions of others.
Being adopted is worse that being labeled mentally ill, as parents don't abandon their child because of illness. Being abandoned and being adopted is the worst thing possible that can be forced upon a child.
Now we become human cargo for sale to the highest bidder. We don't matter and we are only props to occupy the time of the adoptive parents boredom.
Being adopted means that my mother was forced to legally abandoned me, and I will always bear that abandoned child's shame, humiliation and stigma.
The adoptive parents that adopted me did me no favors, as they verbally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and sexually abused me throughout my childhood, because I did not belong to them, because I was not their blood relative and because I was so incredibly different from the adoptive family that I could easily be singled out for a slap in the face, a shaking and a punishment for looking guilty by not trying hard enough to fit in the adoptive family. But as you can see adoptees spend all of their energy trying to fit in, hyper vigilance, watching and not participating so that any information might not slip past the watching child that desperately tries to assimilate every day into their adoptive family but will always ultimately fail in their attempts.
The psychological experts say that adoptees fear being re-adopted, and their right. The last thing on earth that any adoptee wants is to be adopted again. We prefer being the outsider to the forced to comply adopted child puppet acting out the adopted child's role everyday. I refuse to be re-adopted especially if this means spending my life in solitude, I prefer it to the forced acceptance. I was forced to accept the adoption situation but the adoptive family was not forced to accept me, just to tolerate me and not love me or try to understand me. These are not what adopting parent's sign on for. They want the blank slate child to be molded to their own image, but adopted children come with their parent's genetic make-up and eventually become their parents and not their adoptive parents.
Child adoption is a temporary custody placement for most adoptees. A step above or below foster home care. Some foster homes and adoptive parents abuse children and some do not. There are only the guarantees that an adopted child will be challenged psychologically and fit the prototype of the clinical adoptee in therapy.
We do not want to be adopted by anyone, there is no magic in child adoption, only the harsh reality that being an abandoned child brings for the rest of your life. Sometimes foster parenting is more beneficial as the unrealistic expectations of being adopted prove that the adopted child will eventually fail the hopes and dreams of fantasy based adoptive parents, and in foster care we know better...not to ever get too close.