The Hypocrisy in Adoption and a Child's Rights
I write about my own pain from being forced into adoption, but I am a hypocrite to the suffering of my offspring child.
I write about the selfish behavior of adoptive parents and at the same time allowed the same secrecy that was forced on me to be forced on my own choice to bear a child alone. my own childish inexperience that has plagued my life without insight
has caused me to be guilty of omission, of not acting to ensure her life free of birth related secrets and the truths that continued year after year unknown to her.
I have much experience with people telling me that they don't want to hear it, so I shut my mouth. But there are things that we should be told regardless if we want to hear the possibility ow awful or secrets that are not so well absorbed or not. One thing that I do know is that children change their minds, they are young and want emotional control of their own lives. My failure to bash, failure to mention, and deep down seeded fears of rejection are what propel parents to ignore the complicated details when we are not asked. I was afraid that the ugly might get mixed up with the good in my own recollection. I am forever ashamed of my soul of my very existence and all of the bad decisions that I perpetrated throughout my life. Those bridges that I always seem to set on fire after I cross them. Because I have no past, I can only exist in the now, unable to see any future beyond today. I have never possessed a past history so I don't know how to contemplate tomorrow, and unfortunately my tomorrow turns into ten years down the road. An adopted at birth infant's past is non existent and unknown as we do not even know who we are most of our lives. Adoptees are raised to believe in the temporary now and nothing beyond that pain or fear can educate us to the concept of time or the future where we do not exist. Omission is as guilty as commission as we are guilty of both. The secrets that our children do not want to hear is not the option we should listen to as they are children living by the direction of our distorted attempt at living.