The Selfish Logic of Adoptive Parents
To the social group, the local community, church group, and the adoptive mother's peer group the award winning adoptive mother's social standing and continuation of her social position is dependent on the public appearances, compliance and supposedly normal childhood of the adopted child.
Any deviation from what is considered acceptable parent-child behavior will result in the adoptive mother's loss of social status, gossip, and humiliation for being unable to control her adopted child. Most socially dependent adoptive mothers rely on their social status for being accepted by their social peer group within their community.
Many adoptive parents including some highly publicized adoption disasters by journalists make their biggest mistakes by thinking that they are some type of authority in adoptive parenting. The adoptive parent's that hold nothing back in regard to family privacy.
These self proclaimed adoption authority figures create blogs, publish books and write articles about their own triumphant and joyous adoptions, from the beginning they put their private life and the life of the adopted child on display for all to view how well they parent adoptive style.....Until things go horribly wrong in their life, when they seek refuge in silence, away from their self righteous statements and writings about how well they parent adopted children.
When these writers are shocked by their own realities, they are too humiliated to keep writing.
As they are ashamed by their self righteous attitudes and humbled by the reality that adopted children are flawed and broken by the legally forced adoption relationship that severed the child from his own biological family that caused the "primal wound" in order to be sold to the self righteous know-it-all adoptive parent.
The adoptive parent that ignored all of the warnings and scoffed at the adoption realities that adoption creates dire, unpleasant and traumatic circumstances of psychological damage to newborn infants. The adoptive mother that dismisses and denies the truths of adoption consequences, that they do not apply to her, as she is special and can make a difference as her love of "children" or family is stronger than the average persons love for their adopted child.
While it is ironic that the adoptive parent experts stop writing about their incredible adoptive parenting abilities when they feel deep inside, that they have made a terrible and arrogant mistake. The parent that believes they can continue their current selfish persona after becoming parents, has a laughable reality.
The reality is similar to a tornado with a path of debris left behind resembling the fragments of some poor adopted child's childhood years. The truly selfish adoptive mother never considered the real day to day life outside of her own quest for recognition of her charitable efforts of adoption. The fallout is what is left over from an adoption, the fragmented life of a psychological problem that will plague the adult adoptee for the rest of his life.
Yet the adoptive parent already had a life and can return to it following the failed experiment of adoption...The adopted child's life as a puppet and prop to fulfill the temporary desires of the adoptive mother, when the adopted child is discarded they have nothing to return to except the emptiness of their existence which is familiar.