Adoptee's Value their True Voice Without Apology
About ninety percent of adoptee voices are continued by explanations, excuses and clarifications for their statements in an attempt to validate themselves.
Adoptees need no excuses for their feelings as they are written from their experiences lived as adopted children. Adoptees can't be responsible for every audience that will read what the have experienced. There is a real and honest truth in the first thoughts that adoptees write down in their unedited drafts.
The adoptee that lives in fear of their adoptive parents reading their blogs and getting angry, or feeling offended by the adopted child's telling their adopted child truth should never be a consideration.
Any adoptive parent that is trolling adoptee blogs already knows or is in complete denial of how the adoptee sees, views and lives in the world of being an adopted child. Perspective adoptive parents and the society of which we exist should be aware of all of the secrets, lies, each personal story of adoption tragedy and suffering that plagues the lives of adopted child and grows more complicated and distressing to adult adoptees as we grow older and wiser. The older the adoptee, the larger the perspective of adoption and adoption's injurous impact on our lives, that does not get better with age. Older adoptees can psychologically see their life outside of ourselves, as perspectives of anger, pain and hostility that we have been forced to swallow and hold inside for far too long. My life has been a disturbing train wreck of failed, tragic endings and hostile relationships where I am always at fault or the excuse for the disaster that I refer to as my life.
I will never be "healed" from my own miserable existence as a failed adoption, but socially considered a successful adoption outcome, as there was never a petition filed for failed adoption in the family courts.
I never went to jail, I never became a resident in a mental hospital and I have never successfully committed suicide, the three places that adopted children and adult adoptee's are statistically found.
I am considered an adoption success story yet my life is no measure to reflect that adoption success story.
I am no better today than the mantra of difficult adolescence years, my young adult years or my older adoptee existence that I currently live. Being adopted is a title that we can never escape from even when we are estranged, ignored by our adoptive families or kicked out of the adoptive family, the psychological damage inflicted by the birth separation, named "the primal wound" (by Nancy Verrier) destroys too many elements of normal infant human development that constitutes and influences the optimal human psychological development, that can never be fixed or repaired in childhood. The knowledge of the injury and trauma of the primal wounding can only be used to understand what is destroyed but can not be repaired in adult adoptee's seeking healing. The primal wound knowledge can only be utilized to instill understanding of what has gone wrong in the psychological development of adopted children, and to the public knowledge of the consequences and avoidance in separating newborn infants from their biological mothers. The damage to already born and abandoned infants separated at birth from their biological mothers can never be repaired. The psychological consequences from birth separation and adoption change the infant's development forever with the foundation in life based in trauma.
The facts of the damage caused by adoption planned separation can not be reversed and adopting parents should expect and acknowledge the obvious wounding that will plague their adopted child's development, personality and suffering from adoption's effects throughout their lifetime. The adoptive parents that deny these basic scientific facts, the primal wounding is the most diabolical fundamental fact in adopted child psychology, that all infants separated from their biological mothers at birth, do and will always suffer these distorting psychological divisions in the human psyche.
There are hopeful adoptive parents that acknowledge the truth of adoption's plight, are better able to understand that child adoption is no substitute for biological parenting, and is nothing like having offspring of your own either. The logical adoptive parent does not pretend that child adoption is the same is parenting your own offspring.
The adopted child separated at birth from their biological mother will always be psychologically compromised, coming into an adoptive home.
The adoptive parents that seek real knowledge of the true facts to adoptive parenting are the parents that might grow to understand their adopted child and form the secondary adoptive attachment. These logic based people are more likely to have successful relationships with the acknowledgement of their grief stricken adopted child and throughout the adopted child's future by holding only adoption truths as gospel, and avoiding the adoption fantasy story by living in reality with their adopted child.