Adoptive Parent's Convince the World that their Adopted Child Is Just Fine.......
It is a common assumption by adoptive parents that their adopted child is the one percent of adopted children that was not impacted or affected by the biological bond's severing, separation, Primal Wound, maternal depravity and that the adoptive parent's love did conquer all of the trauma, grief and lifelong sorrow consequences of the Child Adoption Industry.
The adoptive parent's believe they are correct in their assumption of no impact of lifelong adoption suffering although the adopted child has not grown out of childhood. The adoptive parent's assumption of no side effects is demanded to be accepted, and prove their point by always speaking on behalf of the adopted child. Never is the adopted child allowed to speak publicly in their own words regarding their own feelings, pain or grief about being an adopted child.
The adoptive parent's police the adopted child's ability to convey only what is allowed.
The adoptive parent's repetitious fantasy stories of the "Chosen Child" and "Special...Ed" adopted child type of attitude is the preferred response to any questioning of the adopted child. The conditioning of extremely young adopted children are told about being adopted before they have any cognitive ability to understand complex situations. In Telling adopted children about adoption, the adoptive parents only teach the fantasy happy adoption stories and intentionally leave out any negative, unpleasant and the entire genre of impact to the adopted child's life.
The whole story of adoption is cut into thirds, by the adoptive parent. The one third of the adoption information is taught to the young adopted child.
#1) The one-third of the adoption paradox:
Is the adoptive parent's perspective.
The fact of what they wanted, actions and received.
#2) One-third of the child adoption paradox:
Is the perspective of the maternal and paternal biological family, the circumstances, suffering, grief and negative outcomes of those biological family members.
#3) One-third of the adopted child paradox:
Is the perspective of the adopted child that can be comprehended in adulthood, but is an ongoing metamorphosis of psychological changes, stages in no particular order, and ongoing psychological adjustments throughout adulthood and old age.
The developmental adjustment, adaptions and confusion in childhood. The adolescent's identity failure attempts, emotional masking, compliance anger and confusion. Genealogical bewilderment, adopted child syndrome, primal wounding, failed attempting to find the self, Search & Reunion, digesting new information, that is conflicting with previous information, psychological breakdown, Identity re-construction, identity re-re-construction, isolation, being psychologically lost and psychological loss.
The adopted child is never told the whole truth of child adoption, only the adoptive parent's perspective of child adoption. In avoiding the omitted two thirds of unpleasant aspects of adoption such as the grief, suffering and identity confusion that the adopted child will experience, the child does not know his behavior is normal for adopted children. What makes the adopted child's struggle worse is when adoptive parent's ignore what is considered normal psychological consequences for adopted children, adoptive parents treat the ambiguity the adopted child feels as a "defiance" problem. The adoptive parent's keep the truth from adopted children tell them that their feelings are wrong and their behavior is disturbing. Although the adopted child is actually dealing with the adoption situation normally, the parent's encourage psychopathy by telling, shaming and rejecting the adopted child for behavior that is usually age appropriate and normal behavior for average adopted children.
The adoptive parent is desperately wanting the fantasy to be reality. When an adopted child is truly suffering the adoptive parent believes they will be blamed or they will deny the suffering and blame the child. Never to accept any responsibility for their impact of raising the adopted child.
Adoptive parents that become intolerable of their adopted child send them away, kick them out of the adoptive family or re-abandon them to the world before the adopted child can abandon their adoptive parents. When the adoptive parent's fantasy story comes to an end they are prepared to escape, but the adopted child will always be scarred from the assault of child adoption.