The Psychological Grooming The Adopted Child
The Adoption Paradox involves the adoptive parent's psychological projections onto the child that are false and based in the adopting parent's desires, needs and wants that encompass the adoptive parent's adoption expectations, that will predictably result in the ultimately failure and disappointment., As the adopted child Infant can not live up to the fantasy, superficial and unrealistic aspirations of superhuman expectations the adopting parent dreams of. The adoptive relationship's disappointing aspects begin immediately with the placement of the adoptive infant or child being received is not what the adoptive parent expected, and the adoptive parent's disappointment begins instantaneously.
grooming of the adopted child beginning in infancy. Due to the lack of genetic cues that are used and relied upon in genetic mirroring, where the biological mother perceives herself in her offspring and the offspring sees themselves in the biological mother that biological based interaction causes empathy as the parent sees themselves in the infant and the infant sees themselves in their mother producing empathy toward the other. The reciprocal reflection of personal identity is the reinforcement in genetic mirroring determine cohesiveness that are based on mother-child offspring sameness, similarity and the non-existent difference, that sameness causes the natural empathy in maternal bonded relationships.
The adopted child and the adoptive parent are completely alien to one another giving the adoptive parent no genetic clues that predict future appearance, the present state and future behavior pattern expectations.
Where no similarity exists, there is no similarity to base any type of liking, similar experiences or real perception of like type of appearance that infant offspring of biological parent relationship is based on.
The only dependable observation between the infant offspring and adoptive mother is difference that provides disliking, resistance and stigmatization. The stigmatization that is the bases for disliking, intolerance and repulsive reactions to the outsider.
The disenfranchised middle aged adoptive mother
can not identify with the outsider's offspring, and in time the child grows up to resemble the biological family in appearance and personality.
The adopting parent that is psychologically compromised by the inability to procreate their own offspring, the management of the social stigma of infertility and the inability to feel love, empathy or feel any liking or acceptance toward the adopted child offspring of the unknown stranger couple that is waiting for the return of the infant's biological mother.
The adoptive parent is torn between societies perception of rewards, of charity in the adoptive mother. The adoptive mother can't take the devastation of public scrutiny if she returns the child. The adoptive mother is forced to parent the stranger's offspring. She does this in an unsavory, disliking and tolerance behavior toward the adopted child. The adoptive mother sees the child as illegitimate, bastard that she is forced to support. The adoptive parent parent's in a manner lacking the empathy, concern and regard for the child as an independent individual. She raises the child with an instilled sense of shame and disregard. The child's basic needs, emotional needs and developmental needs are disregarded and the child learns that they must adapt, they must pretend and must act the role that the adoptive mother insists upon. The adopted child is a victim of child grooming in a way that makes the adopted child's role the role to play for the rest of their adopted life. The adopted child does not matter except in regard to the adoptive mother's perception of expert parenting skill excellence.
The dysfunctional relationship between the adopted child and the adoptive mother is one of forced liking, public appearances that are dependent on the adoptive mother's public appearance persona. The child learns that they are worth nothing outside of the adoptive relationship. Their dependence is a burden and tolerated to boost the self esteem of the adoptive mother. The adopted child never gains self-esteem, agency or independence., As the adopted child is trained to be forever dependent upon the award winning adoptive parent. The adopted child is non-existent outside of the adoptive relationship and emerges in adulthood as a psychologically broken and problematic person. For the adopted child to emerge in adulthood as independent the adoptive parent's work would have been for no public recognition. The adoptive parent needs the adopted child to be as dysfunctional or more than the adoptive parent. They are the scapegoat, the identified patient and the family's problem child, of which they were groomed not of normal everyday life but of the problem that the adoptive mother had sacrificed her life to raise the dysfunctional adopted child.