The Adopted Child's Failures Depress Adoptive Mother
The emotional neglect of adopted children is their foundation in life. The fact that the adopted child does not biologically belong in the adopted family is the strongest effect that drives the difference in the adopted child that he can not help. The adoptive parents and family group try on the surface to include the adopted child, yet the adopted child knows deep down that the adopted family is making a conscious effort to pretend and not to be true or real. The adoptive parent's ideal child, biological child or lost to death child is the ghost child that the adopted child is constantly competing with to live up to the standards of the absent biological child that the adopted child is forced to act as his replacement.
The disappointment that renders the adoptive mother in the perpetual state of post adoption depression, motivates her to be repulsed by the adopted child and her growing intolerance of the adopted child becomes a constant psychological ambiguity toward the adopted child. The adoptive mother's growing regret toward the adopted child's growing list of behavioral and conduct failures makes her distant, care, absence in nurturing, and repulsive regard of the adopted child that renders the adopted child psychologically neglected, developmentally stalled and eventual loss of caring and verbal interaction with the adopted child makes the child retreat to isolation that stalls the adopted child's intellectual development.
In the adopted child's primary school years are faced with fear, failure and perpetual punishment. The adoptive mother's frustration and anger grows into narcissistic rages during teacher-parent conferences where the adoptive mother's embarrassment of the failing and threat of repeating each school grade humiliates the adoptive mother as the adopted child's school grade failures humiliate the adoptive mother's self-esteem. The adoptive mother feels that the adopted child is genetically defective, as she has done all she can as an adoptive mother, her own biological children were model students, academic awards and athletic capabilities are paramount. The adoptive mother's feelings of disdain for the adoptive child as the adoptive child's lack of progress makes her look bad. The adoptive mother's growing resentment for the adopted child renders her perpetually angry and constant embarrassment in her public social circles. The adopted child gives the adoptive mother no pride, no happiness and no sense of accomplishment as a mother. The mother's preoccupation with the adopted child's failures, as the adoptive mother feels the child is doing it all on purpose to make her look bad. The child need too much attention, too much care and too much effort in that the adopted child has not earned any of the attention that the adopted child already receives.
The adoptive mother blames the child's morally bankrupt and intellectually deprived biological mother and father. As the adoptive mother bears no responsibility for the adopted child's mounting failures in life. The adoptive mother believes the only hope for the female adopted child is a marriage to relinquish all responsibility of the adopted child's life,
Then the adoptive mother can return to her own life.