About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Narcissistic Adoptive Mother's Deception


The Narcissistic Adoptive Mother's Deception

The adoptive mother that adopted a child to avoid the normal process of grieving, social saving face and forgoing personal humiliation...all can be excused by the public's perception of the honorable, charitable, social contributor in award winning adoptive mother. 
The problem lies in the child's life that is mistaken to rely, need and depend on her. The mortal wounding of a child's childhood will leave lasting effects especially when we attempt to divorce and fire her from her bad job of mothering. She will make all efforts to make us sorry, In fact she will devote all of her energy to making the adult adoptee's life miserable, more terrifying, hideous and callous than our pathetic childhood.   

Narcissistic Mothers have many subtle - and sometimes not so subtle - forms of abuse.
She lies to us and about us. She insults us, sometimes so subtly that we're left wondering if we imagined it. Sometimes the insults are wrapped in a cloak of concern, "Poor you, you're always so confused".
She demeans us and doesn't respect us whatsoever.
She ignores us when it suits her and overwhelms us what that suits her.
She manipulates us, our feelings and our situations for her pleasure.
She controls us, using us as a pawn to get her narcissistic supply.
She ignores our personal boundaries, both physical and emotional. She treats us as an object, only existing for her gratification. She denies our basic existence, our very humanity.

She subjects us to her narcissistic rage on a whim.
She forces guilt onto us, and shame. She tells us in every moment - verbally and otherwise - that we're unworthy and never good enough for her.
She gaslights, triangulates against us with her choice of more acceptable people to confuse us and make us doubt our own reality and sanity. 
She's sly and sneaky, reserving her abuse for secret times, so others don't see it, and don't believe us if we try to tell them. Which is even more crazy-making.
She neglects our needs, sending always the message that we don't matter, that we're worthless. This leads to self-loathing and struggles with self-care.
She's unpredictable, capricious and inconsistent, so we never know where we are or what to expect. There's no secure foundation to this world.
She tells us she loves us and distorts the word by doing so, because she doesn't act as if she loves us. Another form of triangulation as our experience contradicts exactly what she is insisting is so.
She makes herself the center of the family, forcing us all to revolve around her and keep her happy. Her needs are paramount; ours, barely acknowledged.
She can't be trusted. She says one thing one day, and another the next.
She uses our privacy, misfortune, and vulnerabilities against us, She knows them, as your mother. Anything you say will be used against you to make you look bad as She fights against the world.