Self-Esteem Development In Adopted Children __________________________________________
The childhood nurturing of an adopted child is vital to the adopted child's development of self-esteem. Adopted children lack their biological mother's participation in genetic mirroring that is essential in the development of normal biological children in physical and psychological childhood development.The adopted child's primary attachment bond with their biological mothers was severed and the child resides among stranger's faces that can not mimic, show by example or learn by the faces that are genetically engineered the same as the biological mother-child dyad that provides the genetic mirroring to teach the child what he looks like, how to make and read genetic facial expressions and create sounds with the shape of the mouth and face. Without these innate and intuitive genetic examples to learn from the child is going through childhood without the common clues that all biological children have the advantage of their genetic mirroring. The adoptive parent can not mirror the child either, the adoptive mother can not see herself in the adopted child or have genetic intuition and biological language or maternal bond sensitivity based empathy toward the non-offspring child. The adoptive mother has no clues or cues to recognize in the adopted child to be able to respond appropriately. The adopted child and the adoptive mother do not speak the same genetic language which is a barrier to cohesion. The relationship is build on trial, error and frustration that grows in time with the child as he becomes the prototype of the biological family and not resembling the adoptive family which causes more language barriers. When a parent and biological child conflict the biological parent sees themselves in the child and therefore can naturally empathize with their offspring. When the adopted child is in conflict with the adoptive parent we only see contempt, anger and growing intolerance toward the adopted child which constantly damages the adopted child's self-esteem.
Denial of the adoption trauma, humiliating and shaming the adopted child come naturally as being adopted is shameful and humiliating to the adopted child.
- Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.
- Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.
- Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.
- Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.
- Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.
- Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.
- Pessimism and a general negative outlook.
- Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.
- Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.