The Adoptee's Common Experience Of Triangulation
In adoptive parents with narcissistic and borderline personality dysfunctions, the adoptive mother places herself as a barrier between the adopted child and other and extended adopted family members. The family must communicate to the adopted child through the adoptive mother, and the adopted child can only communicate to the outside world through the adoptive mother. The adoptive mother speaks for and on the behalf of the adopted child/adult adoptee. No family members are allowed to, nor can they directly correspond or speak directly to the adult adoptee. This is an unfortunate and strangling way to live as an adult. As the adoptive mother has used this manipulation tool for the entire life of the adopted child and is not willing to give up such an important part of control, access and supervision of the adopted child's relationships. The adoptive mother dominates the life of the adopted child to the point of having a psychiatric meltdown or narcissistic rage against the adopted child if the adopted child were to employ any form of psychological privacy or boundary at the adoptive mother. In my own experience as an adopted child of setting one boundary, that boundary was a motivation for the adoptive mother to cross with detest and rage against me for my audacity of setting a rule and expecting my adoptive mother to respect it. The adoptive mother immediately did what I asked her politely not to do to show me domination and reassure me that she was still in charge of my life in adulthood. I asked her "Please do not take my toddler to the drunk uncle's house to be babysit.
Although my toddler's innocence was threatened and compromised by the selfish adoptive mother's spite and hatefulness of her own selfish desires to contradict me.