The Psychology of DENIAL In Adoptive Parent
The adoptive parent's denial is seen in their actions, behavior and words, expressing the psychological denial that adoptive parents use as a defense mechanism to accept the action of adoption and the consequences attached with adoption. The adoptive mother's denial in a multitude of truths, becomes an overwhelming force against the truth that the adopted child bears and represents to the substitute
parent can only be tolerated by refusing to accept these truths, as the adoptive parent psychologically copes and compensates their losses and gains to create a new reality for the adoptive parent that is not the same or real reality for others. The fantasy world is created and perpetuated by others and agreeable persons in their attempt to provide support the adoptive mother's role. The adopted life is lived in denial of the many facts that eventually render this adoption related relationship dysfunctional. The fantasy and denial are effective defense mechanisms to temporarily engage in a one way relationship (with an alien) to the adoptive mother's adopted child.
The Adoption Relationship Cycle
"It is hoped" (by social workers) that the substitute mother's infatuation phase, (with her new baby) will be strong enough to endure the test of time, and the consistent presence of the child might lead to forming a long-term enduring and accepting relationship. The adoption relationship cycle does not always work, and the denial of the realities in the beginning lead to let downs and disappointing feelings of the adoptive mothers as the adopted child grows up to represent and resemble their biological parents and family. To some adoptive parents the growing changes in the adopted child's physical characteristics, appearances and mental changes become a grim reminder that the adopted child is not their own offspring. To some adoptive parents these changes become intolerable, and that they have no apathy and can not see themselves in the adopted child that they invested too many years grooming and conditioning to comply and fit within the form of the adoptive family. To some adoptive mothers these changes seem to be contempt in nature, as the teenager has become unrecognizable in appearance and mannerisms to the adoptive parents, essentially rendered a stranger worthy of expulsion from the adoptive family.
As the normal relationship will cycle through the new
phase, where the other is infatuated, ignoring all of the obvious faults of the other. The gradual revealing of difference, and annoying personality traits, the intolerance phase and the abandonment phase.
Denial, in ordinary English usage, is asserting that a statement or allegation is not true. The same word, and also abnegation (German: Verneinung), is used for a psychological defense mechanism postulated by psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.
- simple denial: deny the reality of the unpleasant fact altogether
- minimization: admit the fact but deny its seriousness (a combination of denial and rationalization)
- projection: admit both the fact and seriousness but deny responsibility by blaming somebody or something else.
Denial and disavowal
Denial of fact
Denial of responsibility
- Blaming: a direct statement shifting culpability and may overlap with denial of fact
- Minimizing: an attempt to make the effects or results of an action appear to be less harmful than they may actually be, or
- Justifying: when someone takes a choice and attempts to make that choice look okay due to their perception of what is "right" in a situation.
- Regression: when someone acts in a way unbecoming of their age (e.g. whining, temper tantrum, etc.)
- Troy breaks up with his girlfriend because he is unable to control his anger, and then blames her for everything that ever happened.