Closed Adoption Childhood Emotional Neglect
Experienced social worker adoptee sees through the
lies and denial of society.
Link to Full Article:noapologiesforbeingme.blogspot.com/2014/04/closed-adoption-as-form-of-emotional.html
Exerpts from Closed Adoption Emotional Child Abuse:
During the training I was required to receive, I learned about dysfunctional families, how they cope, how they form protective denial, and what "roles" are assigned to different family members. My role in my family was "Hero" (the one who made the family look good) . I was the child who never did any wrong, who did everything that was expected of her. My brother, in contrast, was the "scapegoat" (the one who made the family look bad). He spent many of his teenage years getting into trouble and driving my parents crazy. (Note: He's a great guy and upstanding citizen now)
Contrary to popular understanding, the scapegoat (the trouble maker) is actually the healthiest member of the family unit because they have a better understanding of what is "really" going on within the family.
I attribute my own family's dysfunction, in part, to the elephant in the room (mine and my brother's "unknown past"). We were placed in a situation where we were expected to deny who we really were and to go along with the program. Whenever there is a family secret, you can expect the family to become dysfunctional on some level. My parents lacked the proper education, training and understanding of the importance of an adopted child's emotional needs.
Here is a working definition of emotional neglect:
"Emotional neglect occurs when a parent purposefully or ignorantly overlooks the signs that a child needs comfort or attention and includes withholding love, rejecting a child, and ignoring a child’s emotional needs.
Emotional neglect is a serious problem and has long term effects. This form of abuse has been found to inhibit a child’s emotional and physical growth. There can be many causes for emotional neglect. However, emotional neglect of a child can be prevented by increasing parents’ understanding of their children’s developmental and emotional needs."
Read the full article at the link above..........................................