Lying Adopted Children ________________________________________________________________
"You Little Liar!"
The Adoption Experts always point their fingers to the adopted child and make extravagant excuses of blame and fault, Yet never identify the obvious truth that the young adopted child can easily grasp, understand and utilize as the adopted child is taught to lie about the number one concept of his adopted identity LIE.
something that many adoptive parents are familiar with.
'Telling lies is often linked to early loss, especially of caregivers, and leaves children with difficulties distinguishing between fact and fantasy.'
More than a developmental stage
'Very young children (nursery and primary school age) may genuinely believe the stories they are telling you. In their minds fact and fiction can get blurred, the fairy-tales and stories they hear from parents and their teachers, can get a bit muddled in their heads. The experiences they are trying to recap to you are getting exaggerated.'
Why children lie
- Wishful thinking – making something up because they wish it were true
- or to impress friends
- Difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, and thinking that if they really
- want something they will get it
- Trying to please parents – telling you what they think you want to hear
- feels more important than being caught out in the lie
- Worry that your love and approval are conditional – telling you they did
- well at school because they think it is more important to gain your
- approval than tell the truth
- To avoid punishment when they know they have done something wrong
- To gain more attention – i.e. feigning illness to be comforted
- To avoid something undesirable – i.e. feigning illness to avoid school
- To test adults – making up a story to see how easy they are to fool