Adopted Children Must See Truth, To Detach From Adoption's Life Sentence.
Forming a sense of self, we must identify true regard by family.
The Braking Point comes at some random time in the form of a personal epiphany, at that point we see all injustice as a pattern of cruelty that our adoptive parents disregard us as illegitimate, lower class of human beings, that do not have a right to exist except in the capacity of our purpose in the adopted child's specific designated role and that role's expected function to supply the adoptive parent. Essentially fulfilling the temporary needs designed by the adoptive parent's reason in their original motivation to adopt a child. We fulfilled the adopted child role to the best of our ability, which was not to the unrealistic expectations of adoptive parent's standards. We were set up and expected to fail. We failed and are labeled as failures to the adoptive parent's disappointment, and spend our lives trying to please with substandard foundations of defense mechanisms of coping and compensating to fill the unfulfilled and unfulfillable indebtedness that can never be satisfied, or only could possibly be attempted to be satisfied by the adoptive parent's non-existent, could-have been or deceased biological child. The perpetual state of treading water, never swimming or traveling from point a to point b, the adopted child existing to trying to keep his head above water and frequently dipping below the surface and fighting to get to the surface, desperate to take a breath before sinking again below the waters surface.
The unexpected epiphany that lifts the "Adoption Fog" of ignorance, allegiance, the "Indebtedness of gratefulness" and the adopted child's denial that his life does not belong to himself. Adopted children are psychologically imprisoned forever, owned and kept in a perpetual child state of pre-adolescent-ignorance, the exact place where the adoptive parent wants us to remain forever. Cognitively ignorant where we do not understand the world and remain dependent on our adoptive parent to keep us safe and make our decisions for us, as we are under age children without knowledge of the world, ourselves and need the protection of the adoptive prison to survive. All decisions are made on our behalf for our best interests in the world that will destroy us if we venture out alone and unaccompanied by our adoptive handlers. Our parents are the adoptive prison wardens who render the punishments for thinking thoughts that are allowed, we live by the punishment and acceptance cycle. Without this cycle there will be chaos and freedom, of which we can not handle or understand due to our genetic retardation we exist to satisfy the needs of our superiors, without our superiors, we do not exist.
We are invalid, we are nothing.
The stages of personal self reality Vs. Adoptive Disharmony.
The honest hatred toward the adopted child:
#1 Realizing the truth of the gross disconnect against me by my adoptive family handlers.
A. Understanding the adoptive family tragedy that forced them
into the false adoptive relationship.
B. The pitiful offers of assistance to the adoptive mother's cruelty from her outsider friends and acquaintances.
C. The abrupt ending friendships of adoptive mother's denial of her own shame in the way she treated her adopted child pet.
D. The constant parental domestic violence where I was used as a pawn for a wife's demands of her husband's continued fidelity and allegiance. The alcoholism, parties and fading beauty of a narcissistic wife's fear of abandonment and scorn.
E. The honest truth of a jealous hatred by the adoptive father who was an illegitimate bastard that was not adopted by his mother's second husband, and his detest for being financially responsible for someone else's bastard child, that was not his blood, as the blood connections with his biological sons.
F. The biological sons that saw their mother's anger, hatred and frustrations dealing with a third female child that did not belong, that took up the mother's energy that could have been used on the biological children.
G. The adoptive mother's constant reminder of her own child's tragedy that she was forced to look at the adopted child outsider that was not family cohesive to live in disappointment each day.
H. The outside community's pressure on the mother to be visually and family perfect in her dependence on public appearance and perception.
I. The extended family's pity for the family's adopted child,
and their burden to care for the adopted child on the adoptive mother's lacking of care and compassion for the adopted child.
The adopted child's gratefulness and dependence on the mother's perpetual abuse, and lack of love from her family., Living in fear of abuse and verbal attacks of the mother. Never to dare cross her or question her inability to give, as the adopted child was never deserving of being loved by the family as she was born inherently a bad seed, that would only bring the adoptive family disgrace and humiliation. The only skills the adopted child possessed was the ability to remain silent and never dare express any emotional well-being. The adoptive mother needed me sick, broken and unable to attempt anything as any task would end in extreme and embarrassing failure to the family. The adopted child only knew abuse, verbal attacks and domestic violence from her perfect adoptive family. Each time the adoptive child was banished from the family, the adopted child will recreate the abuse in her outside of the family life. The outside abuse would become life threatening and the family would pull the adopted child back in temporary and the adopted child would do what the family expected. The family would again enter the abuse cycle and the adopted child would be banished again and again. cycles of abuse in and out of the adoptive family's grasp. But outside of the adoptive family abuse the life was not as bad., When an abuse cycle would end the breathing would begin and then end again. The adopted child saw serenity in an abusive situation because the cruel adoptive mother was not there. The abuse without the adoptive mother was tolerable and livable. The adopted child believed the abuse received was deserved and acceptable as she knew no other way to live without alcoholic chaos, physical beatings, black eyes, broken arms and car crashes, to the adopted child this was normal...just like home without cruel adoptive mother's voice or strikes in the face that reduced the adopted child to non-existent silence. Fighting made me feel alive, my voice would shriek and scream in defense of closed fist blows to my face. Any situation was better than home, even if I was killed or put into prison for killing my boyfriend, I was temporarily free of my cruel mother for the time being. I can handle the most extreme brutality of a drunk boyfriend, we will eventually make up and for a short time have temporary sanity. The cold cocked punch to my face that broke the driver's side window with my head, while I was driving was an unfair advantage, but I would get even, I always fought dirty and would get even or revenge for unfair advantages in dirty domestic violence fighting. The rage within this adopted child was created, cultivated to be suppressed and boil down inside me like a molten core waiting to erupt at any provoking moment, at any instant I am ready to take on anything or anyone, at one time I took on two grown men defending the gentlemen's (I was on a first date with) honor. I believe he was initially afraid of me, but this unbridled horse is not broken, although I do wear the straps and bit, I am inherently wild. When all you witness is violence and physical fighting, but you are warned and threatened against ever lifting a hand in anger, Expected and enforced to "act like a quiet, silent and polite young lady" the opposite of who I am and who I was trained to be by my adoptive handlers.
Adopted children are rarely talked to, they are "talked At or Told" never conversed with. Adopted children are expected to be ideal children because we come visually intact, but not mentally intact and not whole. Adopted children are seen as dolls, temporary toys and never seen as young child individuals that are going to continue to grow into adulthood. To achieve personal autonomy and independence from their parents as normal biological children become independent and respected adults. Instead, adopted children are not born to the adoptive parent as a natural child is born. The adopted child is not allowed to ask or know about his own birth, as his beginning and origins are denied and taboo restricted knowledge. The adoptive parent does not want to admit, discuss or entertain the notion that the adopted child was actually born, that would disrupt the adoptive fantasy and the adoptive parent's denial to keep the "ready to go doll" as a forever child. As the forever child has no beginning and stays a child (Like a doll) forever. The adoptive parent refuses to believe the adopted child is a human born child, that was conceived through sexual relations, incubated and grown in his mother's uterus, until the sequences of labor and delivery at the child's birth from his mother's body.
The Vilification of the biological mother who gave away part of herself, gave up her own biological child to satisfy the demands of the adoptive mother's inadequacy.
The psychological disconnect by adoptive mothers is due to their inability to reproduce as the biological mother has reproduced her own signature, finger print unique offspring infant. Due to the adoptive parent's narcissistic wound of stillbirth, miscarriage or infertility as the psychological wounding of the barren female
who is jealous of the fertility of others, especially the insult of the biological mother who gave her infant away as the desperation of a grieving biological mother who cries out and expresses milk for her biological child in vain, is extinct from public view and public knowledge. Because the biological mother suffers in silence, suffers the greatest most significant loss a human being can suffer, grieve or imagine, but the child is not dead, the child is alive somewhere without the mother's knowledge is gut wrenching and psychologically devastating to the grieving mother. A lifetime of suffering grieving in private.
The public has created a disconnected view to distort, Ignore, change and deny the truth of the suffering loss of the biological mother's grieving pain.
To give a false sense of entitlement to the wealthy childless married couples that can pay to ease their infertility pain,
and ease the terrible guilt of knowing that the stolen child's mother is on the verge of suicide from the loss of her recently born child. The social culture introduced and cast the cruel stereotype against the biological mother that complied and did what society wanted and expected her to do within the social norms of society, and the biological mother was to be spared from social stigma, humiliation, and the ability to start her life over. However the society that dictated what the unmarried woman should do, harshly judged her anyway even though she was compliant with the religious norms that dominated society.
The unmarried birth mother was publicly chastised, stigmatized and identified as used, spoiled and heartless for abandoning her child. Either way the unmarried pregnant woman would suffer
under a cruel society that profited off of her misery.
is one of the cold uncaring mother who abandoned and threw away her child, is commonly held misconception that is perpetuated to make the adoptive parent feel better. Could you live with yourself knowing that you stole the baby from his only mother and she can't go on living without her baby, Knowing that she wants her baby back and knowing that this adoption is an illegal sham, that the baby was stolen, the mother was coerced into an illegal kidnapping and you have her stolen infant. To deny the biological mother her stolen infant, the devastated mother may commit suicide if her baby is not recovered.
The biological mother and her bastard illegitimate child
are never respected in any capacity beyond their purpose to serve the society that allows them to exist.