The Identity Crisis In Adult Adoptee's Perpetual Cycle
The Indifference and Growing Hatred of the
If the adoptee has gone full circle through the reunion process, with positive or negative personal results.
The adoptee has an inconsistent cycling of positive to negative regard for the adoption life-cycle itself.
The Adoption Paradox becomes the essence of these troubling feelings adoptees feel about adoption in their own personal circumstances.
The adult adoptee feels used, tricked and force on a life that is not their own. The forever adopted child comes to mind as being an adopted child is the essence of which we are forced to become the "dolls" of the adopting parents temporary whims, needs and desires on this life of ostracism, isolation and forced dependence that defines how we are regarded by our owner, master and "Child Adoption's lifetime of forced to be grateful" "Indentured service to the adopting parent".
We the population of forever adopted children will never grow up, never grow old, never grow smart enough and never grow out of being their dependent
helpless, poor, needy, tragic lives. Either with or without being saved from our own lives, by forced adoption, we are condemned to live a life of pathetic poor and troubled existence. With and without being adopted we adopted children are still condemned by the illegitimacy and bastard birth that defines the core of our souls. We in truth are unwanted children, accidents of birth, products of desire, lust and rape.
These are the unspoken truths that is politically incorrect and impolite in conversation when other's ask us "how we are?" We are the Untouchables, the throw-away-baby's that were not convenient at any time to our host mothers and our biological families that threw us away. What makes this truth worse is
the wealthy white's that deny us our own and real truth. The white adopters impose upon our own troubled reality and force their own damages upon our own personal burdens, they create and fulfill their selfish fantasy and denial the child of any previous truth that existed. The adopting whites force us adopted children, to fulfill their emptiness and play the roll of supplier of happiness of which we children will ultimately always fail the adopters in the end.
The truth that propels wealthy white Americans to
buy the unwanted children to possess and own
them like ugly jewelry with bad karma and negative experiences happen to the adopters when wearing the adopted child as jewelry.
Make no mistake, the adopted child will always let her down, will always disappoint and through non deliberate actions make the adopting mother regret her impulsive decision to adopt the stranger's child.
The adopting mother, who is the key instigator of the bad decision to take someone's discarded child into their home. She believes possession is ownership of
a young child. The adopting mother wants awards, public recognition of charity that reaches far beyond the unrewarding life of raising your own offspring to leave the nest. As the ownership of an adopted child is legally contracted to continue throughout the lifetime of the consenting mother and the forced non-consenting party.
The forever adopted child will live a childhood of compliance and allegiance to the adopting savior.
The truth in the adopted child will be denied and biological ties are secretly coveted in private. As the adopted child will never reveal their true self to the adopting family. "The Adoption Fog" is the belief that gratefulness and allegiance rule over the true nature of the adopted child's secret self. To compromise this preconceived notion will result in brutal abandonment, ostracism and banishment from the adoptive family, weather they are abusive or not.
The forever adopted child's balance of truth and false reality is unequally held inside in distorted psyche, and results in psychological splitting, compromise, conditional regard and hatred for the self, coping, defense mechanisms and psychological wounding.
The Adult Adoptee bears the "Primal Wounding" from birth's abandonment, the psychological damage from the absent mother and dealing with each day in her absence. Although the biological mother is physically absent from the adopted child's current existence, the biological mother is consistently existing inside the adopted child's psychological awareness, in the past, present and future. The biological mother continues to exist consistently in the psychology of the child, adolescent, adult and elderly adoptee throughout their lifetime. The absent biological mother exists within the child's mind without facial or physical recognition and without verbal regard as in the biological mother's name or surname, the biological mother continues to exist in the child-adult's consciousness in-spite of external conditioning by the conditional relationship with the adoptive mother. The biological mother's mental presence can not be erased as the biological mother was always and is always a serious part of the child, and through time the facial growth of the adoptee reveals the biological mother's likeness, habits, gestures, likes, dislikes and facial expressions are biologically based and genetically predetermined. As the adopted child matures and seriously resembles the biological family, the adoptive mother begins to feel threatened and jealousy of the stranger that emerges within the adoptive home. The adoptive mother begins to distance herself as the infant changes into the child. At each growth period and growth spurts, the adoptive mother is disillusioned to face the harsh reality emerging that is crushing the adoptive mother's fantasy, needs fulfillment, the child's purpose and the adoptive mother's selfish primary reason for adopting the child, Is no longer valid. The adopted child was not supposed to change, not expected to grow older, It was not in the adoption plan that the child established cognitive knowledge or the child's understanding of complex ideals would render the adoptive mother a selfish, cruel and resentful fraud. The child's changes were not part of the adoptive mother's plan to adopt a child and the child's changes make all the mother's plans for her own happiness a complete failure. The adopting mother wanted a baby to distract her from the misery of her own boring and unhappy life. Now the mother has a younger more beautiful woman in competition for the husband and family's attentions. This new rival to the mother's established place in her own home, Is the central threat of the adoptive mother's ruin. The adoptive mother's appearance, vitality, vanity and sexuality are now threatened by the mother's mentally twisted perception of being challenged by the adoptive child. The adopted child's growing cognitive knowledge and awareness may undo all the hard work of conditioning, training the adopted child to obey, obedience and fearing the mother's wrath may all become void and the mother's secrets and truths may be revealed by the adopted child, As the selfish, cruel, narcissistic woman, her true nature may be exposed to the family and public. Literally everything the adoptive mother has worked for in her own class and status could potentially become public knowledge. The scorned woman, the cruel adoptive mother who treats her adopted child like a pet, everyone might know. The adoptive mother is filled with animosity, jealousy, rage, indifference, hatred and intolerant of the adopted child as the unrealistic fears are fed by gossip and arrogance.
The adoptive mother's consistent feelings of threat bring reactive behavior sauced with alcohol that she will not remember her own cruel deeds that lead to the adopted child being thrown out into the street.