Adoptee Rage! This blog is written exclusively for the 38% of Abused and Neglected Adopted Children. The U.S. HHSA Identifies #1 Risk: Maltreatment, Child Abuse and Risk for Death In Adopted children. Childhood domination, Coping compensation. Research in Adoption Psychology, Developmental Trauma"The Adoption Paradox". By Rainstorm Red-Smith
About Adoptee Rage
Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.
ADOPTEE RAGE! Adopted Child Abuse Psychological Maltreatment of the Adopted Child Psychological Abuse Definition Non-Biological Child ___________________________________________
Psychological maltreatment is a repeated pattern of damaging interactions between parent(s) adopted and non-biological children that becomes a typical pattern of the relationship. In some situations, the pattern is chronic and pervasive; in others, the pattern occurs only when triggered by alcohol or other potentiating factors. Occasionally, a very painful singular incident, such as an unusually contentious prolonged divorce, or parent separation can initiate stress and psychological maltreatment of the children.
Psychological maltreatment of adopted, step and non-biological children occurs when a person conveys to the non-biological child that he or she is worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, endangered, and only of value in meeting the parent's personal needs. The perpetrator adoptive parent may spurn, terrorize, isolate, ignore, impair and exploit the child’s socialization. When severe and repetitious parent malbehavior toward the non-biological child, the following behaviors may constitute psychological maltreatment:
Spurning: Belittling, degrading, shaming, or ridiculing a child; singling out a child to criticize or punish; and humiliating the adopted child in front of others and in public.
Terrorizing: Committing life-threatening acts; making a child feel unsafe; setting unrealistic expectations with threat of loss, harm, or danger if they are not met; and threatening or perpetrating violence against a child, child’s loved ones or objects.
Exploiting or corrupting that encourages a child to develop inappropriate behaviors: Modeling, permitting, or encouraging antisocial or developmentally inappropriate behavior; encouraging or coercing abandonment of developmentally appropriate autonomy; restricting or interfering with cognitive development. Forced exposure to inappropriate situations: Taking a child to a cocktail lounge for extended periods of time.
Denying emotional responsiveness: Ignoring a child or failing to express affection, caring, and conditional regard, or love for a child.
Rejecting: Avoiding or pushing away, shaming and ostracizing, threatening and throwing an underage child out of the home.
Isolating: Confining, placing unreasonable limitations on freedom of movement or social interactions, refusing participation from age appropriate activity.
Unreliable or inconsistent parenting: Contradictory and ambivalent demands.
Neglecting normal mental health, medical, and educational needs: Ignoring, preventing, or failing to provide treatments or services for emotional, behavioral, physical, or educational needs or problems.
Witnessing intimate partner violence and verbal abuse: domestic violence.
Parental attributes in cases reported for psychological maltreatment include poor parenting skills, substance abuse, depression, suicide attempts or other psychological problems, low self-esteem, poor social skills, authoritative parenting style, lack of empathy, social stress, domestic violence, and family dysfunction. A number of studies have demonstrated that maternal affective disorder and/or substance abuse highly correlate to adoptive parent- adopted child interactions that are verbally aggressive.
At-risk children include adopted, step and non-biological children whose parents/caregivers are involved in a contentious turmoil, domestic violence and divorce;
Children who are unwanted, unplanned and non-biological; children of parents who are unskilled or inexperienced in parenting; children whose parents engage in substance abuse, animal abuse, or domestic violence; and children who are socially isolated or intellectually or emotionally handicapped.
Psychological maltreatment in adopted children may result in a myriad of long-term consequences for the adopted child victim. A chronic pattern of psychological maltreatment destroys a child’s sense of self and personal safety. This leads to adverse effects on the following:
Intrapersonal thoughts, including feelings (and related behaviors) of low self-esteem, negative emotional or life view, anxiety symptoms, depression, and suicide or suicidal thoughts.
Emotional health, including emotional instability, borderline personality, emotional unresponsiveness, impulse control problems, anger, physical self-abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse.
Social skills, including antisocial behaviors, attachment problems, low social competency, low sympathy and empathy for others, self-isolation, noncompliance, sexual maladjustment, dependency, aggression or violence, and delinquency or criminality.
Learning, including low academic achievement, learning impairments, and impaired moral reasoning.
Physical health, including failure to thrive, somatic complaints, poor adult health, and high mortality.
Similar patterns can be seen in adopted children who are exposed to adoptive parent and family violence. Exposure to domestic violence by terrorizing, exploiting, and corrupting children increases childhood depression, anxiety, aggression, and disobedience in children.
A diagnosis of psychological maltreatment is facilitated when a documented event or series of events has had a significant adverse effect on the child’s psychological functioning. Often it is a child’s characteristics or emotional difficulties that first raise concern of psychological maltreatment. A psychologically abusive child-caregiver relationship can sometimes be observed in the medical office. More often, confirmation or suspicion of psychological maltreatment requires collateral reports from schools, other professionals, child care workers, and others involved with the family.
Documentation of psychological maltreatment may be difficult. Physical findings may be limited to abnormal weight gain or loss. Ideally, the pediatrician who evaluates a child for psychological maltreatment will be able to demonstrate or opine that psychological acts or omissions of the caregiver have resulted (or may result) in significant damage to the child’s mental or physical health. Documentation of the severity of psychological maltreatment on a standardized form (see Professional Education Materials for example) can assist practices to develop an accurate treatment plan in conjunction with (or cooperation with) other child health agencies. The severity of consequences of psychological maltreatment is influenced by its intensity, extremeness, frequency, and chronicity and mollifying or enhancing factors in the caregivers, child, and environment. Documentation must be objective and factual, including as many real quotes and statements from the child, the family, and other sources as possible. Descriptions of interactions, data from multiple sources, and changes in the behavior of the child are important. Ideally, the pediatrician will be able to describe the child’s baseline emotional, developmental, educational, and physical characteristics before the onset of psychological maltreatment and document the subsequent adverse consequences of psychological maltreatment. In uncertain situations, referral to child mental health for additional evaluation is warranted.
The stage of a child’s development may influence the consequences of psychological maltreatment. Early identification and reporting of psychological maltreatment, with subsequent training and therapy for caregivers, may decrease the likelihood of untoward consequences. Because the major consequences of psychological maltreatment may take years to develop, delayed reporting of suspected psychological maltreatment
Psychological aggression by Adoptive Parents (ie, parental controlling or correcting behavior that causes the child to experience psychological pain) is more pervasive than spanking.
A 1995 telephone survey suggested that by the time a child was 2 years old, 90% of families asked had used 1 or more forms of psychological aggression in the previous 12 months. This same survey revealed that 10% to 20% of toddlers and 50% of teenagers experience severe aggression by adoptive parents (eg, cursing, threatening to send the child away, calling the child dumb or such other belittling names).
Therefore, prevention of psychological maltreatment may be the most important work of the pediatrician.
Pediatricians can offer parents developmentally appropriate anticipatory guidance about the dangers of psychological aggression and maltreatment and model healthier parenting approaches to parents in the office at each visit. They may provide educational brochures to caregivers and inform parents very clearly that improper words and gestures or lack of supportive and loving words can greatly harm children. Most importantly, pediatricians can teach parents that their children need consistent love, acceptance, and attention.
Community approaches, such as home visitation, have been shown to be highly successful in changing the behavior of parents at risk for perpetrating maltreatment.Targeted programs for mothers with affective psychological disorders and substance abuse have also been shown to be useful in preventing psychological maltreatment.