About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Adopted Child Isolation, Social Isolation and Self Isolation


The Isolated Life of Adopted Children 

The adopted child's lonely life eventually becomes the only comfort
he can find, sadly away from all others.

Alienation, a sociological concept developed by several classical and contemporary theorists, is "a condition in social relationships reflected by a low degree of integration or common values and a high degree of distance or isolation between individuals, or between an individual and a group of people in a community or work environment. The concept has many discipline-specific uses, and can refer both to a personal psychological state (subjectively) and to a type of social relationship (objectively).


Alienation in the sense of a lack of power has been technically defined by Seeman as “the expectancy or probability held by the individual that his own behavior cannot determine the occurrence of the outcomes, or reinforcements, he seeks." Seeman argues that this is “the notion of alienation as it originated in the Marxian view of the worker’s condition in capitalist society: the worker is alienated to the extent that the prerogative and means of decision are expropriated by the ruling entrepreneurs, Put more succinctly, Kalekin-Fishman (1996: 97) says, “A person suffers from alienation in the form of 'powerlessness' when she is conscious of the gap between what she would like to do and what she feels capable of doing”.
In discussing powerlessness, Seeman also incorporated the insights of the psychologist Julian Rotter. Rotter distinguishes between internal control and external locus of control, which means "differences (among persons or situations) in the degree to which success or failure is attributable to external factors (e.g. luck, chance, or powerful others), as against success or failure that is seen as the outcome of one’s personal skills or characteristics. Powerlessness, therefore, is the perception that the individual does not have the means to achieve his goals.
More recently, Geyer, remarks that “a new type of powerlessness has emerged, where the core problem is no longer being unfree but rather being unable to select from among an overchoice of alternatives for action, whose consequences one often cannot even fathom”. Geyer adapts cybernetics to alienation theory, and writes (1996: xxiv) that powerlessness is the result of delayed feedback: “The more complex one’s environment, the later one is confronted with the latent, and often unintended, consequences of one’s actions. Consequently, in view of this causality-obscuring time lag, both the ‘rewards’ and ‘punishments’ for one’s actions increasingly tend to be viewed as random, often with apathy and alienation as a result”.


A sense of meaning has been defined by Seeman as “the individual’s sense of understanding events in which he is engaged”. Seeman (1959: 786) writes that meaninglessness “is characterized by a low expectancy that satisfactory predictions about the future outcomes of behaviour can be made." Where as powerlessness refers to the sensed ability to control outcomes, this refers to the sensed ability to predict outcomes. In this respect, meaninglessness is closely tied to powerlessness; Seeman (Ibid.) argues, “the view that one lives in an intelligible world might be a prerequisite to expectancies for control; and the unintelligibility of complex affairs is presumably conducive to the development of high expectancies for external control (that is, high powerlessness)”.
Geyer (1996: xxiii) believes meaninglessness should be reinterpreted for postmodern times: "With the accelerating throughput of information [...] meaningless is not a matter anymore of whether one can assign meaning to incoming information, but of whether one can develop adequate new scanning mechanisms to gather the goal-relevant information one needs, as well as more efficient selection procedures to prevent being overburdened by the information one does not need, but is bombarded with on a regular basis." "information overload" or the so-called "data tsunami" are well-known information problems confronting contemporary man, and Geyer thus argues that meaninglessness is turned on its head.


Normlessness (or what Durkheim referred to as anomie) “denotes the situation in which the social norms regulating individual conduct have broken down or are no longer effective as rules for behaviour”. This aspect refers to the inability to identify with the dominant values of society or rather, with what are perceived to be the dominant values of society. Seeman (1959: 788) adds that this aspect can manifest in a particularly negative manner, “The anomic situation [...] may be defined as one in which there is a high expectancy that socially unapproved behaviours are required to achieve given goals”. This negative manifestation is dealt with in detail by Catherine Ross and John Mirowski in a series of publications on mistrust, powerlessness, normlessness and crime.
Neal & Collas (2000: 122) write, “Normlessness derives partly from conditions of complexity and conflict in which individuals become unclear about the composition and enforcement of social norms. Sudden and abrupt changes occur in life conditions, and the norms that usually operate may no longer seem adequate as guidelines for conduct”. This is a particular issue after the fall of the Soviet Union, mass migrations from developing to developed countries, and the general sense of disillusionment that characterized the 1990s (Senekal, 2011). Traditional values that had already been questioned (especially during the 1960s) were met with further scepticism in the 1990s, resulting in a situation where individuals rely more often on their own judgement than on institutions of authority: "The individual not only has become more independent of the churches, but from other social institutions as well. The individual can make more personal choices in far more life situations than before” (Halman, 1998: 100). These choices are not necessarily "negative": Halman's study found that Europeans remain relatively conservative morally, even though the authority of the Church and other institutions has eroded.

Social isolation

Social isolation refers to “The feeling of being segregated from one’s community”. Neal and Collas (2000: 114) emphasize the centrality of social isolation in the modern world: “While social isolation is typically experienced as a form of personal stress, its sources are deeply embedded in the social organization of the modern world. With increased isolation and atomization, much of our daily interactions are with those who are strangers to us and with whom we lack any ongoing social relationships.”
Since the fall of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War migrants from Eastern Europe and the developing countries have flocked to developed countries in search of a better living standard. This has led to entire communities becoming uprooted: no longer fully part of their homelands, but neither integrated into their adopted communities. Diaspora literature depicts the plights of these migrants, such as Hafid Bouazza in Paravion. Senekal (2010b: 41) argues, "Low-income communities or religious minorities may feel separated from mainstream society, leading to backlashes such as the civil unrest that occurred in French cities in October 2005. The fact that the riots subsequently spread to Belgium, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, Greece, and Switzerland, illustrates that not only did these communities feel segregated from mainstream society, but also that they found a community in their isolation; they regarded themselves as kindred spirits".


One concept used in regard to specific relationships is parental alienation where a child is distanced from and negatively influenced  and expresses a general dislike for one of their parents (who may have divorced or separated). The term is not applied where there is child abuse. The parental alienation might be due to specific influences from either parent or could result from the social dynamics of the family as a whole. It can also be understood in terms of attachment, the social and emotional process of bonding between child and caregiver. Adopted children can feel alienated from both adoptive parents and birth parents after the adoption reunion lifecycle, and the adoptee has perspective realization feeling alienated from both sets of parents resulting in the adoptee feeling estranged from all legal, biological and emotional ties.
Familial estrangement between parents and adult children “is attributed to a number of biological, psychological, social, and structural factors affecting the family, including attachment disorders, incompatible values and beliefs, unfulfilled expectations, critical life events and transitions, parental alienation, and ineffective communication patterns.” The degree of alienation has been positively correlated with decreased emotional functioning in the parent who feels a loss of identity and stigma.
Attachment relationships in adults can also involve feelings of alienation. Indeed, emotional alienation is said to be a common way of life for many, whether it is experienced as overwhelming, or is not admitted to in the midst of a socioeconomic race or contributes to seemingly unrelated problems.


Self-estrangement is an elusive concept in sociology, as recognized by Seeman (1959), although he included it as an aspect in his model of alienation. Some, with Marx, consider self-estrangement to be the end result and thus the heart of social alienation. Self-estrangement can be defined as “the psychological state of denying one’s own interests – of seeking out extrinsically satisfying, rather than intrinsically satisfying, activities...” It could be characterized as a feeling of having become a stranger to oneself, or to some parts of oneself, or alternatively as a problem of self knowledge, or authenticity.
Seeman (1959) recognized the problems inherent in defining the "self", while post-modernism in particular has questioned the very possibility of pin-pointing what precisely "self" constitutes. Gergen (1996: 125) argues that: “the traditional view of self versus society is deeply problematic and should be replaced by a conception of the self as always already immersed in relatedness. On this account, the individual’s lament of ‘not belonging’ is partially a by-product of traditional discourses themselves”. If the self is relationally constituted, does it make sense to speak of "self-estrangement" rather than "social isolation"? Costas and Fleming (2009: 354) suggest that although the concept of self-estrangement “has not weathered postmodern criticisms of essentialism and economic determinism well”, the concept still has value if a Lacanian reading of the self is adopted. This can be seen as part of a wider debate on the concept of self between humanism and antihumanism, structuralism and post structuralism or nature and nurture.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Child Laundering Adoption and The Slavery of Adoption


Human Trafficking of Child Adoption Laundering

The human greed and lust of materialism that can never satisfy the upper class Americans in the United States. The adoption industry's perceived innocent  "good and charitable deeds by Christian Americans" buying and selling through the cover of child adoption, by exploiting poor and third world countries for their children. Sold as child slaves to temporarily satisfy the demanding wealthy American appetites is a parallel of slavery's dark and continuous existence that is alive and thriving in the United States.

Child adoption slavery is when adopting parents need a child to fulfill personal needs, wants and desires. Avoid of adopting a child to provide the child with resources, nurturing and support to become an independent self asserting individual. The adoption traffic child is adopted to fill the perception of a void or unhappiness in an individual, to temporary provide distraction from the everyday misery of life. The adopted child slave is seen as a dependent child and "forever Adopted child" throughout his lifetime as he will never reach maturity in his lifetime in the eyes of the adopting parent trafficker.   

Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by most societies; in more recent times, slavery has been outlawed in all countries, but it continues through the practices of debt bondage, indentured  servitude, serfdom and domestic servants kept in captivity, certain adoptions in which children are forced to work as slaves, child soldiers, and forced marriage. Slavery is officially illegal in all countries, but there are still an estimated 20 million to 30 million slaves worldwide. Mauritania was the last jurisdiction to officially outlaw slavery (in 1981/2007), but about 10% to 20% of its population is estimated to live in slavery.

Slavery predates written records and has existed in many cultures.  Most slaves today are debt slaves, largely in South Asia, who are under debt bondage incurred by lenders, sometimes even for generations. Human trafficking is primarily used for forcing women and children into sex industry and adoption for childless people that normal procedures for adoption were not successful.

Chattel slavery

Chattel slavery, also called traditional slavery, is so named because people are treated as the chattel (personal property) of an owner and are bought and sold as if they were commodities. It is the original form of slavery and the least prevalent form of slavery today.

Forced Labor occurs when an individual is forced to work against his or her will, under threat of violence or other punishment, with restrictions on their freedom. Human trafficking is primarily for prostitution of women and children and is the fastest growing form of forced labor, with Thailand, Cambodia, India, Brazil, and Mexico have been identified as leading hotspots of commercial exploitation of adopted children.
The term 'forced labor' is also used to describe all types of slavery and may also include institutions not commonly classified as slavery, such as serfdom, conscription and penal labor. 

Child Laundering Adoption 
Child laundering is a scheme whereby intercountry adoptions are effected by illegal and fraudulent means. It usually involves the trafficking of children which is usually illegal and may involve the acquisition of children through monetary arrangements, deceit and/or force. The children may then be held in sham orphanages while formal international adoption processes are used to send the children to adoptive parents in another country.
Child laundering rings are often expansive with multiple hierarchies of people motivated by large profits from the black markets of intercountry adoptions. With westerners willing to spend thousands of dollars to adopt a child, enough monetary incentives are created to extend the laundering ring from the middle class to societies' more affluent groups. These "baby broker" families subsequently forge a new identity for the laundered child, "validating" the child's legal status as an orphan and ensuring the scheme will not be uncovered.
Child laundering is highly controversial; while many argue that these children are being treated as a commodity and stripped of family contact, others argue that, ultimately, the children will live in a more affluent environment and have more opportunities as a result of this adoption.

The adoptive Detachment and Attachment Refusal


Disorganized Attachment, Attachment Refusal of the 
Sociopathic Adopted Child

As an adopted infant that never experienced bonding with biological mother at birth, Immediately indoctrinated into the foster system as a ward of the state. I experienced five foster caregivers in the first six months, at that time the intentional confusion and shifting from carer to carer was to avoid attachment to each of the foster parents pending adoption. Unfortunately upon adoption, to replace the dead stillborn female child of a grieving mother, the grieving mother rejected me, and several new caregivers stepped in to help. The grieving mother grew jealous at the pseudo relationship that was developing with her adopted child and the next carer and she was dismissed. I was sent to grandparents for the next several weeks and again upon return to the adopted home was rejected by the adoptive mother and shifted to the arms of a new caregiver. I have estimated 15 carers, foster mothers, babysitters and relatives of the adoptive family in the first year of life. I am a borderline sociopath who engages in meaningful relationships with strangers only. I never formed any attachment to anyone and am chronically unreliable, non-trusting and unconsciously rejecting of any form of social human relationship. 

Human Attachment:

Humans are equipped with the human attachment system that serves many purposes. The attachment system lays the building blocks for mental health, relationship skills, and self-regulation. The attachment system is also a biological system that ensures our survival. It is through the attachment system that keeps infants close their parents. When babies are distressed, they behave in ways that brings a parent toward them. As babies get older, they move toward their parents- with their legs or with their eyes- seeking out closeness and safety. This system works because parents aren’t supposed to be feared. When a small child is feeling anxious, nervous, uncomfortable, scared, or terrified their attachment system becomes activated and draws them closer to their attachment figure.
When the attachment figure is the source of fear:  the anxious, nervous, uncomfortable, scared and terrifying feelings children are left with an unsolvable dilemma. When your fight/flight/freeze system is activated by the SAME person who activates your attachment system,                     problems arise psychologically. It is this unsolvable dilemma that is the basis for disorganized attachment.
Hebb’s Axion tells us that “Neurons that fire together wire together.” Children who experience terror, fear, or neglect at the hands of the person who is supposed to keep them safe experience a simultaneous activation of both the attachment system and the fight/flight/freeze system. This simultaneous activation weaves together these experiences in the nervous system, linking these two systems in a deep way.
Over time, in a new,  safe home, children’s attachment system begins to be activated by the new, safe caregiver. But due to the previous tangling of the attachment system and the fight/flight/freeze system, this new, safe caregiver activates the attachment system and the fight/flight/freeze system. Our children become caught in this impossible paradox of “come close, run away.” This horrifying confusion, which leaves children feeling vulnerable, exposed, and at risk of death, is the driving force behind their bizarre and confusing, sometimes dangerous, behaviors.
This entangled circuitry- of attachment and fight/flight/freeze- can be slowly untangled overtime. It is a slow, methodical process which solidifies our understanding of the importance of parenting with connection. It is the piece we can turn back to when we begin to doubt “trust-based parenting” (Purvis & Cross, TCU) because it reminds us that we must never be sources of fright or terror to our children. That if we become triggered and behave in ways we regret- with a spanking or a threat or any attempt at gaining better behavior through fear or coercion, that it is imperative to repair that breech and continue to repattern our children’s nervous system. We cannot simply reassure our children that we are safe. We must prove to them- over and over and over again- that we are safe. We must commit to never reinforcing in their nervous system that “attachment figure” and “danger danger” goes together.

Attachment theory

An Inuit family is sitting on a log outside their tent. The parents, wearing warm clothing made of animal skins, are engaged in domestic tasks. Between them sits a toddler, also in skin clothes, staring at the camera. On the mother's back is a baby in a papoose.
For infants and toddlers, the "set-goal" of the attachment behavioural system is to maintain or achieve proximity to attachment figures, usually the parents.
Attachment theory describes the dynamics of long-term relationships between humans. However, ‘attachment theory is not formulated as a general theory of relationships. It addresses only a specific facet’ (Waters et al. 2005: 81): how human beings respond within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones, or perceiving a threat. In infants, attachment as a motivational and behavioural system directs the child to seek proximity with a familiar caregiver when they are alarmed, with the expectation that they will receive protection and emotional support. Bowlby believed that the tendency for primate infants to develop attachments to familiar caregivers was the result of evolutionary pressures, since attachment behaviour would facilitate the infant’s survival in the face of dangers such as predation or exposure to the elements.
The most important tenet of attachment theory is that an infant needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for the child’s successful social and emotional development, and in particular for learning how to effectively regulate their feelings. Fathers or any other individuals, are equally likely to become principal attachment figures if they provide most of the child care and related social interaction. In the presence of a sensitive and responsive caregiver, the infant will use the caregiver as a “safe base” from which to explore. It should be recognized that “even sensitive caregivers get it right only about 50 percent of the time. Their communications are either out of synch, or mismatched. There are times when parents feel tired or distracted. The telephone rings or there is breakfast to prepare. In other words, attuned interactions rupture quite frequently. But the hallmark of a sensitive caregiver is that the ruptures are managed and repaired.
Attachments between infants and caregivers form even if this caregiver is not sensitive and responsive in social interactions with them. This has important implications. Infants cannot exit unpredictable or insensitive caregiving relationships. Instead they must manage themselves as best they can within such relationships. Research by developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1960s and 70s found that children will have different patterns of attachment depending primarily on how they experienced their early caregiving environment. Early patterns of attachment, in turn, shape – but do not determine - the individual's expectations in later relationships. Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized. Attachment theory has become the dominant theory used today in the study of infant and toddler behavior and in the fields of infant mental health, treatment of children, and related fields. In the 1980s, the theory was extended to attachment in adults.

Attachment patterns

“The strength of a child’s attachment behaviour in a given circumstance does not indicate the ‘strength’ of the attachment bond. Some insecure children will routinely display very pronounced attachment behaviours, while many secure children find that there is no great need to engage in either intense or frequent shows of attachment behaviour”.

Secure attachment

A toddler who is securely attached to its parent (or other familiar caregiver) will explore freely while the caregiver is present, typically engages with strangers, is often visibly upset when the caregiver departs, and is generally happy to see the caregiver return. The extent of exploration and of distress are affected by the child's temperamental make-up and by situational factors as well as by attachment status, however. A child's attachment is largely influenced by their primary caregiver's sensitivity to their needs. Parents who consistently (or almost always) respond to their child's needs will create securely attached children. Such children are certain that their parents will be responsive to their needs and communications.
In the traditional Ainsworth et al. (1978) coding of the Strange Situation, secure infants are denoted as "Group B" infants and they are further subclassified as B1, B2, B3, and B4. Although these subgroupings refer to different stylistic responses to the comings and goings of the caregiver, they were not given specific labels by Ainsworth and colleagues, although their descriptive behaviors led others (including students of Ainsworth) to devise a relatively 'loose' terminology for these subgroups. B1's have been referred to as 'secure-reserved', B2's as 'secure-inhibited', B3's as 'secure-balanced,' and B4's as 'secure-reactive.' In academic publications however, the classification of infants (if subgroups are denoted) is typically simply "B1" or "B2" although more theoretical and review-oriented papers surrounding attachment theory may use the above terminology.
Securely attached children are best able to explore when they have the knowledge of a secure base to return to in times of need. When assistance is given, this bolsters the sense of security and also, assuming the parent's assistance is helpful, educates the child in how to cope with the same problem in the future. Therefore, secure attachment can be seen as the most adaptive attachment style. According to some psychological researchers, a child becomes securely attached when the parent is available and able to meet the needs of the child in a responsive and appropriate manner. At infancy and early childhood, if parents are caring and attentive towards their children, those children will be more prone to secure attachment.

Anxious-resistant insecure attachment

Anxious-resistant insecure attachment is also called ambivalent attachment. In general, a child with an anxious-resistant attachment style will typically explore little (in the Strange Situation) and is often wary of strangers, even when the parent is present. When the mother departs, the child is often highly distressed. The child is generally ambivalent when she returns. The Anxious-Ambivalent/Resistant strategy is a response to unpredictably responsive caregiving, and the displays of anger or helplessness towards the caregiver on reunion can be regarded as a conditional strategy for maintaining the availability of the caregiver by preemptively taking control of the interaction.
The C1 subtype is coded when:
"...resistant behavior is particularly conspicuous. The mixture of seeking and yet resisting contact and interaction has an unmistakeably angry quality and indeed an angry tone may characterize behavior in the preseparation episodes...
The C2 subtype is coded when:
"Perhaps the most conspicuous characteristic of C2 infants is their passivity. Their exploratory behavior is limited throughout the SS and their interactive behaviors are relatively lacking in active initiation. Nevertheless, in the reunion episodes they obviously want proximity to and contact with their mothers, even though they tend to use signalling rather than active approach, and protest against being put down rather than actively resisting release...In general the C2 baby is not as conspicuously angry as the C1 baby."

Anxious-avoidant insecure attachment

A child with the anxious-avoidant insecure attachment style will avoid or ignore the caregiver - showing little emotion when the caregiver departs or returns. The child will not explore very much regardless of who is there. Infants classified as anxious-avoidant (A) represented a puzzle in the early 1970s. They did not exhibit distress on separation, and either ignored the caregiver on their return (A1 subtype) or showed some tendency to approach together with some tendency to ignore or turn away from the caregiver (A2 subtype). Ainsworth and Bell theorised that the apparently unruffled behaviour of the avoidant infants is in fact a mask for distress, a hypothesis later evidenced through studies of the heart-rate of avoidant infants.
Infants are depicted as anxious-avoidant insecure when there is:
"...conspicuous avoidance of the mother in the reunion episodes which is likely to consist of ignoring her altogether, although there may be some pointed looking away, turning away, or moving away...If there is a greeting when the mother enters, it tends to be a mere look or a smile...Either the baby does not approach his mother upon reunion, or they approach in 'abortive' fashions with the baby going past the mother, or it tends to only occur after much coaxing...If picked up, the baby shows little or no contact-maintaining behavior; he tends not to cuddle in; he looks away and he may squirm to get down.
Ainsworth’s narrative records showed that infants avoided the caregiver in the stressful Strange Situation Procedure when they had a history of experiencing rebuff of attachment behaviour. The child's needs are frequently not met and the child comes to believe that communication of needs has no influence on the caregiver. Ainsworth's student Mary Main theorised that avoidant behaviour in the Strange Situational Procedure should be regarded as ‘a conditional strategy, which paradoxically permits whatever proximity is possible under conditions of maternal rejection’ by de-emphasising attachment needs. Main proposed that avoidance has two functions for an infant whose caregiver is consistently unresponsive to their needs. Firstly, avoidant behaviour allows the infant to maintain a conditional proximity with the caregiver: close enough to maintain protection, but distant enough to avoid rebuff. Secondly, the cognitive processes organising avoidant behaviour could help direct attention away from the unfulfilled desire for closeness with the caregiver - avoiding a situation in which the child is overwhelmed with emotion ('disorganised distress'), and therefore unable to maintain control of themselves and achieve even conditional proximity.

Disorganized/disoriented attachment

Ainsworth herself was the first to find difficulties in fitting all infant behaviour into the three classifications used in her Baltimore study. Ainsworth and colleagues sometimes observed ‘tense movements such as hunching the shoulders, putting the hands behind the neck and tensely cocking the head, and so on. It was our clear impression that such tension movements signified stress, both because they tended to occur chiefly in the separation episodes and because they tended to be prodromal to crying. Indeed, our hypothesis is that they occur when a child is attempting to control crying, for they tend to vanish if and when crying breaks through’. Such observations also appeared in the doctoral theses of Ainsworth's students. Crittenden, for example, noted that one abused infant in her doctoral sample was classed as secure (B) by her undergraduate coders because her strange situation behavior was “without either avoidance or ambivalence, she did show stress-related stereotypic headcocking throughout the strange situation. This pervasive behavior, however, was the only clue to the extent of her stress”.
Drawing on records of behaviours discrepant with the A,B and C classifications, a fourth classification was added by Ainsworth's colleague Mary Main In the Strange Situation, the attachment system is expected to be activated by the departure and return of the caregiver. If the behaviour of the infant does not appear to the observer to be coordinated in a smooth way across episodes to achieve either proximity or some relative proximity with the caregiver, then it is considered 'disorganised' as it indicates a disruption or flooding of the attachment system (e.g. by fear). Infant behaviours in the Strange Situation Protocol coded as disorganised/disoriented include overt displays of fear; contradictory behaviours or affects occurring simultaneously or sequentially; stereotypic, asymmetric, misdirected or jerky movements; or freezing and apparent dissociation. Lyons-Ruth has urged, however, that it should be wider 'recognized that 52% of disorganized infants continue to approach the caregiver, seek comfort, and cease their distress without clear ambivalent or avoidant behavior.' 
There is ‘rapidly growing interest in disorganized attachment’ from clinicians and policy-makers as well as researchers. Yet the Disorganized/disoriented attachment (D) classification has been criticised by some for being too encompassing. In 1990, Ainsworth put in print her blessing for the new ‘D’ classification, though she urged that the addition be regarded as ‘open-ended, in the sense that subcategories may be distinguished’, as she worried that the D classification might be too encompassing and might treat too many different forms of behaviour as if they were the same thing. Indeed, the D classification puts together infants who use a somewhat disrupted secure (B) strategy with those who seem hopeless and show little attachment behaviour; it also puts together infants who run to hide when they see their caregiver in the same classification as those who show an avoidant (A) strategy on the first reunion and then an ambivalent-resistant (C) strategy on the second reunion. Perhaps responding to such concerns, George and Solomon have divided among indices of Disorganized/disoriented attachment (D) in the Strange Situation, treating some of the behaviours as a ‘strategy of desperation’ and others as evidence that the attachment system has been flooded (e.g. by fear, or anger). Crittenden also argues that some behaviour classified as Disorganized/disoriented can be regarded as more 'emergency' versions of the avoidant and/or ambivalent/resistant strategies, and function to maintain the protective availability of the caregiver to some degree. Sroufe et al. have agreed that ‘even disorganised attachment behaviour (simultaneous approach-avoidance; freezing, etc.) enables a degree of proximity in the face of a frightening or unfathomable parent’. However, 'the presumption that many indices of “disorganisation” are aspects of organised patterns does not preclude acceptance of the notion of disorganisation, especially in cases where the complexity and dangerousness of the threat are beyond children’s capacity for response’. For example, ‘Children placed in care, especially more than once, often have intrusions. In videos of the Strange Situation Procedure, they tend to occur when a rejected/neglected child approaches the stranger in an intrusion of desire for comfort, then loses muscular control and falls to the floor, overwhelmed by the intruding fear of the unknown, potentially dangerous, strange person’.
Main and Hesse found that most of the mothers of these children had suffered major losses or other trauma shortly before or after the birth of the infant and had reacted by becoming severely depressed. In fact, 56% of mothers who had lost a parent by death before they completed high school subsequently had children with disorganized attachments. Subsequently studies, whilst emphasising the potential importance of unresolved loss, have qualified these findings. For example, Solomon and George found that unresolved loss in the mother tended to be associated with disorganised attachment in their infant primarily when they had also experienced an unresolved trauma in their life prior to the loss.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The unplanned Pregnancy and Bad Grandparents


The Unplanned Pregnancy and Bad Grandparents

The primary insult to a female's future, is the discovery of an unwanted pregnancy. The unwanted pregnancy causes many problems, including mental compromise, isolation, perpetual fear and dread of possible rejection of the partner that impregnated her. The role of the non-supportive family, social community, and society's rejection are usually the same social structure that the young woman was dependent on prior to the pregnancy. The family that is too dependent on the community acceptance and the unrealistic fears of being ostracized from the family's social and religious community., This type of social dependence of parents to take sides away from their own children to save face and favor from a hypocritical community that is arrogant enough to expect a parent to brake ties and shun their own child over the conception of their grand child. Bad parents that live by religious tyranny, the hate based parent labels their own child damaged, shuns them and feels shamed by them through the religious community's opinion. Instead of parenting their child through love, with support, nurturing, and continued guidance is the family that sticks together through the joyous occasion of a new life growing inside of your daughter, that grandchild is the grandparent's joy. 
The psychologically punishing and condemning parent
that views appearance and public sentiment as more important than their own flesh and blood family will always live a superficially miserable existence of regret for their negative actions against their own offspring.
 The innocent child the good mother who takes her responsibility for a new life seriously. A good parent would embrace their child's fragile state with support and guidance as pregnancy is the only form of family and generation growth. The strong woman that emerges from the religiously dependent, politically motivated parent is usually psychologically compromised from the parent's abuse, and being ostracized from perpetrating parents gives the pregnant mother the freedom to live her life away from such disreputable examples of human beings.    
What brings some parents to brake their own family relationships over religious and social issues?   
Understanding that much of the social structure is a flawed reasoning by the ignorant community that the young is better off leaving. The pregnant girl's parents dependent on other's opinions, appearances, and the unimportant community that lives by vanity and humiliation, is a community that no child should be exposed to.   The unwanted pregnancy can become the saving grace of a woman who has no hope, as the new born child is the essence of hope weather his parents are married or not, a child's legitimacy as a person depends on the mother's maternal investment in her own child. 

Acknowledgment of Unresolved Childhood Injustice


Acknowledging the Unresolved Childhood Injustice


The adult adoptee's intentional avoidance of the adopted childhood is a common defense mechanism that will spare the present-self from psychologically crippling history of pain, humiliation and injustice. To pretend that one's own childhood does not exist, pretend to have no memories of childhood or to be careful enough to control current thoughts in such a way to avoid history's pain from yesterday always effects today's impression to the present.

The acknowledgment of reality and truth in the adopted child's childhood history of maltreatment and abuse means that the perpetrator adoptive mother acted, treated and put the adoptive child in a harm-filled experience. The acknowledgment of the abuse is the acknowledgment of the perpetrator's intentional harm and the painful effect that the adoptive mother's cruelty caused the child.  The acknowledging of this personal truth causes all current circumstances to be understood and lifts the Adoption Fog to see the past objectively clear, and voids all of the excuses that the parent gave to justify their unpredictable reactions against the trusting child.   The adopted child was not allowed to talk about or ask "why" mom beat me, this time or that time. as the adopted child lives in perpetual fear the next punishment and possible repercussions of punishments. The subject of yesterday's slapping was brought up, or mother is proudly re-telling another potential punishing family member of the adopted child's crime that was disrespectfully committed and punished yesterday, would cause her to re-experience her anger and strike the adopted child again, and the family member would also participate in punishing the child again by yelling, screaming and striking the adopted child each time the subject is discussed.
The adopted child deserved all beatings, verbal abuse and public humiliations as the adopted child provokes and brings on all parent attacks on by disobedience, lack of respect and misbehavior. As the adopted child grows older and more unlike the appearance of the adoptive family, the parent anger and intolerance toward the adopted child becomes unmanageable rage which leads the adopted child to seek escape from the adoptive family's brutality. The adoptive parents repetitive threats to throw the child into the street become a reality. To publicly ostracize and be rid of the ungrateful adopted child for good, is a welcome change to the adoptive parents, who see child adoption as their greatest regret and damage to the biological family cohesion by the needs of the outsider, causing the biological children to have less.

The adopted child that simply goes away in disgrace, is the greatest expectation, but not always the case. 

The Hedonic Treadmill


The Hedonic Treadmill

The hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the supposed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. According to this theory, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness. Brickman and Campbell coined the term in their essay "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" (1971). During the late 1990s, the concept was modified by Michael Eysenck, a British psychologist, to become the current "hedonic treadmill theory" which compares the pursuit of happiness to a person on a treadmill, who has to keep walking just to stay in the same place.
The Hedonic (or HappinessSet Point has gained interest throughout the field of positive psychology where it has been developed and revised further. Given that hedonic adaptation generally demonstrates that a person's long term happiness is not significantly affected by otherwise impactful events, positive psychology has concerned itself with the discovery of things that can lead to lasting changes in happiness levels.

What Is Social Well Being? Unknown To The Adopted Child



The well-being of adopted children is socially considered "Guaranteed" in the society's view of child adoption. Although each of the fifty states in the U.S. publish yearly, a compiled and combined report to congress titled "The Maltreatment of Adopted and Foster Children" which supplies the years statistics of abuse and deaths of foster and adopted children police and coroner's death reports from each state. In 2000 the U.S. Census began to track populations of adopted, foster and non-biological children in family census data reports to assist in identifying the number one population at risk for child abuse and death by homicide. The surfacing truth and risk for abuse and death of non-biological children send a clear message of reality to the public's denial of non-biological children's risk of death where they were believed by society to be special and wanted but at risk for being murdered by the parents and caregivers that are paid to care for their adopted welfare.

Below is a map of social psychology measures in personal contentment and well-being in the general public, which non-biological foster and adopted children stand outside of these norms, social values and concerns for psychological growth constituting what it means to achieve personal well-being.


Well-being or welfare is a general term for the condition of an individual or group, for example their social, economic, psychological, spiritual or medical state; high well-being means that, in some sense, the individual or group's experience is positive, while low well-being is associated with negative happenings. To be in a state of well-being.

Background in well-being

Although there has not been a clear definition established for well-being, it can be defined as “a special case for attitude”. This definition serves two purposes of well-being: developing and testing a [systematic] theory for the structure of [interrelationships] among varieties of well-being and integration of well-being theory with the ongoing cumulative theory development in the fields of attitude of related research”. One’s well-being develops through assessments of their environment and emotions and then developing an interpretation of their own personal self. There are two different types of well-being: cognitive and affective.

Cognitive well-being

Cognitive well-being is developed through assessing one’s interactions with their environment and other people. "Welfare Economics" ultimately deals with cognitive concepts such as well-being, happiness and satisfaction. These relate to notions such as aspirations and needs, contentment and disappointment". People tend to assess their cognitive well-being based on the social classes that are in their community. In communities with a wide variety of social statuses, the lower class will tend to compare their lifestyle to those of higher class and assess what they do and do not have that may lead to a higher level of well-being. Whenever someone interprets their needs and wants as to being satisfied or not, they then develop their cognitive well-being.

Affective well-being

These are the different levels of affect on well-being: “high negative affect is represented by anxiety and [hostility]; low negative affect is represented by calmness and relaxation; high positive affect is represented by a state of pleasant arousal enthusiasm and low positive affect is represented by a state of unpleasantness and low arousal (dull, sluggish)”. Well-being is most usefully thought of as the dynamic process that gives people a sense of how their lives are going, through the interaction between their circumstances, activities and psychological resources or ‘mental capital’."or "You may say that it is a state of complete wellness.

Psychology in well-being

The correlation between well-being and positive psychology has been proven by many social scientists to be strong and positive one. According to McNulty (2012) “positive psychology at the subjective level is about valued subjective experiences”. Well-being is an important factor in this subjective experience, as well as, contentment, satisfaction of the past, optimism for the future and happiness in the present. People are more likely to experience positive psychology if they take in the good things in each experience or situation. Even in the past if a person only focuses on the negative the brain will only be able to recognize the negative. The more the brain has access to the negative the easier, it becomes because that is what is more memorable. It takes more effort for the brain to remember the positive experiences because typically it is the more smaller actions and experiences that are the positive ones. James McNulty (2012)  research looks at this idea a little bit closer. She argues that, “well-being is not determined solely by people’s psychological characteristics but instead is determined jointly by the interplay between those characteristics and qualities of peoples social environments”. When people have well-being they are experiencing a sense of emotional Freedom. There is nothing negative that is holding them back from experiencing positive emotions. This is true if a person is in a certain setting because it has been proved in a past research that a certain setting can hold a lot of memories for an individual just because of what was shared their and the mean of it. For this “well-being is often equated with the experience of pleasure and the absence of [pain] over time”. The less psychological pain an individual is experiencing them more he or she is going to experience well-being.
When someone is positively well-being they are also experiencing a few other things. It involves a sense of self-fulfillment, which is the feeling of being happy and satisfied because one is doing something that fully uses your abilities and talents (Merriam-Webster). The feeling of having a purpose in life and connection with others are also contributors to the idea of well-being. When people feel as though they have a [purpose] in the world they feel like they belong. They feel like they matter and it goes back to he idea that we were created for and by a purpose.

Education and well-being

When talking about the school system, the idea of well-being gets a little foggy. It is argued that school should only be about learning and education but kids learn so much about social skills and themselves in school. When a child feels like they belong they are more likely to perform better in school. As well as being taught an education, they have to learn how to believe in themselves and create a purpose for themselves. If well-being is established in kids at a young age then it is more likely to play a part in their life as they get older. John White (2013) looked at public schools in Britain now and in the past. In the past schools only focused on knowledge and education but now Britain has moved to more of a broader direction. They started a program called Every Child Matters initiative, that seeks to enhance children's well-being across the whole range of children's services.

Subjective well-being

 Subjective well-being is “based on the idea that how each person thinks and feels about his or her life is important”. This idea is developed specifically in a person’s [culture]. People base their own well-being in relation to their environment and the lives of others around them. Well-being is also subjective to how one feels other people in their environment view them, whether that be in a positive or negative view. Well-being is also subjective to pleasure and whether or not basic human needs are fulfilled, although one’s needs and wants are never fully satisfied. The quality of life of an individual and a society is dependent on the amount of happiness and pleasure as well as human health. Whether or not other cultures is subjective to their culture is based on what kind of culture it is.  Collectiveistic cultures are more likely to use norms and the social appraisals of others in evaluating their subjective well-being, whereas those [individualistic] societies are more likely to heavily weight the internal [frame of reference] arising from one’s own happiness”.

Ethnic identity and well-being

 Ethnic Identity plays a crucial role in someone’s cognitive well-being. Studies show that “both social psychological and developmental perspectives suggest that a strong, secure ethnic identity makes a positive contribution in cognitive well-being”. Those in an acculturated society are able to feel more equal as a human being within their culture, therefore having a better well-being. This is also a crucial aspect when adapting to a new society.

Individual roles and well-being

Individual roles play a part in cognitive well-being. Not only does having social ties improve cognitive well-being, it also improves psychological health. Having multiple identities and roles helps individuals to relate to their society and provide the opportunity for them to contribute more as they increase their roles, therefore creating a better cognitive well-being. Each individual role is ranked internally within a hierarchy of salience. Salience is “the subjective importance that a person attaches to each identity”. Different roles an individual has have a different guidance to their well-being. Within this hierarchy, higher roles offer more of a source to their well-being and define more meaningfulness to their overall role as a human being.
The aspects addressed by MAP in order to improve one's mental health are indicated below:
  • Develop your potential
  • Feel a greater sense of control over your life
  • Develop a sense of purpose
  • Experience positive relationships
  • Be more productive and engaged
  • Have more positive thoughts and emotions like interest, confidence and affection.
  • Increase your attention span
  • Generate more ideas
  • See the bigger picture more easily
  • Be more creative and flexible in your thinking
  • Experience the state of Flow

Monday, August 25, 2014

Adopted Child Abuse, Psychological Abuse Definition


Adopted Child Abuse

Psychological Maltreatment of the Adopted Child

Psychological Abuse Definition Non-Biological Child

Psychological maltreatment is a repeated pattern of damaging interactions between parent(s) adopted and non-biological children that becomes a typical pattern of the relationship. In some situations, the pattern is chronic and pervasive; in others, the pattern occurs only when triggered by alcohol or other potentiating factors. Occasionally, a very painful singular incident, such as an unusually contentious prolonged divorce, or parent separation can initiate stress and psychological maltreatment of the children. 
Psychological maltreatment of adopted, step and non-biological children occurs when a person conveys to the non-biological child that he or she is worthless, flawed, unloved, unwanted, endangered, and only of value in meeting the parent's personal needs. The perpetrator adoptive parent may spurn, terrorize, isolate, ignore, impair and exploit the child’s socialization. When severe and repetitious parent malbehavior toward the non-biological child, the following behaviors may constitute psychological maltreatment:
  1. Spurning: Belittling, degrading, shaming, or ridiculing a child; singling out a child to criticize or punish; and humiliating the adopted child in front of others and in public.
  2. Terrorizing: Committing life-threatening acts; making a child feel unsafe; setting unrealistic expectations with threat of loss, harm, or danger if they are not met; and threatening or perpetrating violence against a child, child’s loved ones or objects.
  3. Exploiting or corrupting that encourages a child to develop inappropriate behaviors: Modeling, permitting, or encouraging antisocial or developmentally inappropriate behavior; encouraging or coercing abandonment of developmentally appropriate autonomy; restricting or interfering with cognitive development. Forced exposure to inappropriate situations: Taking a child to a cocktail lounge for extended periods of time. 
  4. Denying emotional responsiveness: Ignoring a child or failing to express affection, caring, and conditional regard, or love for a child.
  5. Rejecting: Avoiding or pushing away, shaming and ostracizing, threatening and throwing an underage child out of the home.
  6. Isolating: Confining, placing unreasonable limitations on freedom of movement or social interactions, refusing participation from age appropriate activity.
  7. Unreliable or inconsistent parenting: Contradictory and ambivalent demands.
  8. Neglecting normal mental health, medical, and educational needs: Ignoring, preventing, or failing to provide treatments or services for emotional, behavioral, physical, or educational needs or problems.
  9. Witnessing intimate partner violence and verbal abuse: domestic violence.
Parental attributes in cases reported for psychological maltreatment include poor parenting skills, substance abuse, depression, suicide attempts or other psychological problems, low self-esteem, poor social skills, authoritative parenting style, lack of empathy, social stress, domestic violence, and family dysfunction. A number of studies have demonstrated that maternal affective disorder and/or substance abuse highly correlate to adoptive parent- adopted child interactions that are verbally aggressive.
At-risk children include adopted, step and non-biological children whose parents/caregivers are involved in a contentious turmoil, domestic violence and divorce; 
Children who are unwanted, unplanned and non-biological; children of parents who are unskilled or inexperienced in parenting; children whose parents engage in substance abuse, animal abuse, or domestic violence; and children who are socially isolated or intellectually or emotionally handicapped.
Psychological maltreatment in adopted children may result in a myriad of long-term consequences for the adopted child victim. A chronic pattern of psychological maltreatment destroys a child’s sense of self and personal safety. This leads to adverse effects on the following:
  1. Intrapersonal thoughts, including feelings (and related behaviors) of low self-esteem, negative emotional or life view, anxiety symptoms, depression, and suicide or suicidal thoughts.
  2. Emotional health, including emotional instability, borderline personality, emotional unresponsiveness, impulse control problems, anger, physical self-abuse, eating disorders, and substance abuse.
  3. Social skills, including antisocial behaviors, attachment problems, low social competency, low sympathy and empathy for others, self-isolation, noncompliance, sexual maladjustment, dependency, aggression or violence, and delinquency or criminality.
  4. Learning, including low academic achievement, learning impairments, and impaired moral reasoning.
  5. Physical health, including failure to thrive, somatic complaints, poor adult health, and high mortality.
Similar patterns can be seen in adopted children who are exposed to adoptive parent and family violence. Exposure to domestic violence by terrorizing, exploiting, and corrupting children increases childhood depression, anxiety, aggression, and disobedience in children.


A diagnosis of psychological maltreatment is facilitated when a documented event or series of events has had a significant adverse effect on the child’s psychological functioning. Often it is a child’s characteristics or emotional difficulties that first raise concern of psychological maltreatment. A psychologically abusive child-caregiver relationship can sometimes be observed in the medical office. More often, confirmation or suspicion of psychological maltreatment requires collateral reports from schools, other professionals, child care workers, and others involved with the family.
Documentation of psychological maltreatment may be difficult. Physical findings may be limited to abnormal weight gain or loss. Ideally, the pediatrician who evaluates a child for psychological maltreatment will be able to demonstrate or opine that psychological acts or omissions of the caregiver have resulted (or may result) in significant damage to the child’s mental or physical health. Documentation of the severity of psychological maltreatment on a standardized form (see Professional Education Materials for example) can assist practices to develop an accurate treatment plan in conjunction with (or cooperation with) other child health agencies. The severity of consequences of psychological maltreatment is influenced by its intensity, extremeness, frequency, and chronicity and mollifying or enhancing factors in the caregivers, child, and environment. Documentation must be objective and factual, including as many real quotes and statements from the child, the family, and other sources as possible. Descriptions of interactions, data from multiple sources, and changes in the behavior of the child are important. Ideally, the pediatrician will be able to describe the child’s baseline emotional, developmental, educational, and physical characteristics before the onset of psychological maltreatment and document the subsequent adverse consequences of psychological maltreatment. In uncertain situations, referral to child mental health for additional evaluation is warranted.
The stage of a child’s development may influence the consequences of psychological maltreatment. Early identification and reporting of psychological maltreatment, with subsequent training and therapy for caregivers, may decrease the likelihood of untoward consequences. Because the major consequences of psychological maltreatment may take years to develop, delayed reporting of suspected psychological maltreatment 

Psychological aggression by Adoptive Parents (ie, parental controlling or correcting behavior that causes the child to experience psychological pain)    is more pervasive than spanking.
 A 1995 telephone survey suggested that by the time a child was 2 years old, 90% of families asked had used 1 or more forms of psychological aggression in the previous 12 months. This same survey revealed that 10% to 20% of toddlers and 50% of teenagers experience severe aggression by adoptive parents (eg, cursing, threatening to send the child away, calling the child dumb or such other belittling names).
Therefore, prevention of psychological maltreatment may be the most important work of the pediatrician.
Pediatricians can offer parents developmentally appropriate anticipatory guidance about the dangers of psychological aggression and maltreatment and model healthier parenting approaches to parents in the office at each visit. They may provide educational brochures to caregivers and inform parents very clearly that improper words and gestures or lack of supportive and loving words can greatly harm children. Most importantly, pediatricians can teach parents that their children need consistent love, acceptance, and attention.
Community approaches, such as home visitation, have been shown to be highly successful in changing the behavior of parents at risk for perpetrating maltreatment. Targeted programs for mothers with affective psychological disorders and substance abuse have also been shown to be useful in preventing psychological maltreatment.