About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Sensitivity of the Maternal Bond, The Parental Investment, Psychological Concepts Foreign to the Birth Rejected Adopted Children


The Sensitivity of the Maternal Bond, and the Parental Investment Both Human Motivations for Survival of Biological Offspring. 
Foreign Concepts to the Birth Rejected Compensating Defense Mechanisms in Adopted Children and Adult Adoptees
Rejected at birth, the adopted child receives the nearly mortal wound of abandonment that despite all circumstances will accompany the child throughout his/her lifetime. The mortal wound of abandonment is the first activity that the newborn child perceives upon emerging into the world and breathing air. The abandonment wound in an infant is as devastating as a mother dying everyday, continuous death repeated on a daily basis. Since the child has no verbal skills or cognitive interpretation ability, this consuming feeling of grief can not be processed and the feeling can never be resolved (even post reunion). The unresolved feeling of grief's loss, is the foundation for all future relationships in a contingent of dependence if the relationship falls apart-we are mentally prepared to loose it and begin the grief but now can compartmentalize or file it properly into our brain's knowledge archive of memory and many other types of deposits in the brain.       
The specifics of these inner deep feeling are unique to each person but common among the adoptee population.

The second injury is the substitute parent who is not the child's biological mother. The real mother is the only person who can fulfill the child to the fullest potential by the nurturing maternal sensitivity relationship between the mother-child diad.
The substitute mother has chosen the route of adoption to fulfill her personal void or narcissistic injury or childlessness. Unfortunately the adoptive mother's motivation for adopting a child is completely self centered.  The adoptive mother has no plans of giving up her present life to raise someone else's child. Infact the adopted child will become an extension of the adoptive mother's life. The adoptive mother will not put the child's interests above her own, Above the spousal relationship nor above the biological child's relationship. The adoptive mother will not put the adopted child's interests before her employment, her social activity, her adult group activity, her exercise activity, her night classes, or her friend's group meetings. The fact that the adopted mother's income can pay for full time daycare signifies that the adopted child will be handed off to a third party contractor for nurturing, bonding, and general child care institutions. The child's best interests are not a consideration as the mother can afford to get what she wants and enjoy her life as it was prior to adoption. When the mother feels needy or lonely the child will be waiting to reject her on the grounds of "stranger". This will cause the mother to react with anger due to all of the money she has invested in this adoption. If the child cant be accepted the mother will formally reject, rehome and recap lost revenue or escape child support. The adopted child is a pawn of society, a sub human that has worth in infancy that is exploitable by society.

Biological Mother-Child Maternal Language & Nurturing

Maternal sensitivity is a mother's ability to perceive and infer the meaning behind her infant's behavioral signals and to respond to them promptly and appropriately. Maternal sensitivity affects child development at all stages through life, from infancy, all the way to adulthood. In general, more sensitive mothers have healthier, more socially and cognitively developed children than those who are not as sensitive. Also, maternal sensitivity has been found to affect the person psychologically even as an adult. Adults who experienced high maternal sensitivity during their childhood were found to be more secure than those who experienced less sensitive mothers. Once the adult becomes a parent themselves, their own understanding of maternal sensitivity will affect their own children's development. Some research suggests that adult mothers display more maternal sensitivity than adolescent mothers, who may in turn may have children with a lower IQ and reading level than children of adult mothers


Maternal sensitivity was first defined by Mary Ainsworth as "a mother's ability to perceive and interpret accurately her infant's signals and communications and then respond appropriately". It was later revised by Karl and Broom in 1995 as "a mother's ability to recognize infant cues consistently and act on those cues, and the ability to monitor and accurately interpret infant cues, as evidenced by mother–child interactions that are contingent, reciprocal and affectively positive". It can be generally defined as a broad concept combining a variety of behavioral care giving attributes.
The research on maternal sensitivity follows earlier work in psychoanalytics and is especially rooted in attachment theory. As the focus of psychoanalytics shifted from individuals (particularly adults) to children, research studies on mother–infant dyads on the effects of early childhood on development, and on pregnancy became wider. A psychologist named John Bowlby eventually developed the attachment theory in 1969. Mary Ainsworth who worked with Bowlby, along with her colleagues created the concept of maternal sensitivity in 1978 in order to describe early mother–infant interaction observed in her empirical studies.
There are four important aspects of maternal sensitivity: dynamic process involving maternal abilities, reciprocal give-and-take with the infant, contingency on the infant's behavior, and quality of maternal behaviors.
Maternal sensitivity is dynamic, elastic and can change over time. A sensitive mother needs to be able to perceive the cues and signals her baby gives her, interpret them correctly and act appropriately. The three most positive affecting factors for the baby are a mother's social support maternal–fetal attachment and high self esteem. The three most negative affecting factors are maternal depression, maternal stress, and maternal anxiety.
There is a crucial interplay between parenting and child characteristics such as health, temperament, development and cognition. The children with the most sensitive, consistent mothers are the ones who are generally most healthy, happy and well adapted.

Health in childhood

Maternal sensitivity even in the first few months of mother–child relationships are an important factor to health in childhood, especially with obesity. A study using data from the National Institute of Child Health and human development Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development assessed mother–child interactions and categorized them in one of two groups: sensitive or insensitive. Their child's growth (height and weight) was monitored throughout their childhood, from 24 months all the way to grade six, and body mass index was calculated. As the children grew, the percentage of overweight or obese grew too. From 24 months the overall overweight-obese percentage was 15.58% and by grade six, 34.34% of the children were classified as overweight or obese. More interesting is the difference between the maternal sensitive group and the maternal insensitive group. The children with the sensitive mothers started out with an overweight-obese percentage of 14.96% (24 months) and ended the research with 29.54% (grade six). The children classified with insensitive mothers had an overweight-obese percentage of 16.16% at 24 months and 39.28% at grade six. This shows a significant correlation between the mother's sensitivity and the child's risk for overweight-obesity during their elementary years. This is very important for obesity prevention programs for children.

Temperament in childhood

Current studies have shown a correlation between maternal sensitivity or insensitivity, negative discipline and childhood aggression. An experiment sampling 117 mother–child pairs showed a unique relationship between the mother's sensitivity and the use of discipline and the child's temperament level. Observations (of the mother's sensitivity to the child's needs, the child's aggression and temperament level and the relationship between the two) were made when the children on average were 26.71 months old (range of 13.58 to 41.91 months). The data were collected again a year later. Results show a year later that negative discipline is correlated with child aggression, but only when that mother is insensitive.

Development in childhood

A study by Jay Belsky and R.M. Pasco Fearon tested the correlation between childhood development and the sensitivity of the mother. The hypotheses were:
  • secure attachment (observed at 15 months) and maternal sensitivity (observed at 24 months) produced the highest competencies in three-year-old children,
  • the least competent children would have a history of insecure attachment and maternal insensitivity,
  • and the children reared with mixed or inconsistency would fall in between.
The children were tested in five developmental categories: problem behavior, social competence, expressive language, receptive language and school readiness. Results highly support the hypothesis (i.e. maternal sensitivity and childhood development are positively correlated.) This is an important issue as it shows how influential the early experience of a child affects their future development.

Cognition in childhood

Mothers who were found to display higher sensitivity towards their children from preschool to first grade were found to have higher achieving children than those who displayed lower maternal sensitivity. The children of maternally sensitive mothers scored higher in math and  knowledge than those who had a history of lower maternal sensitivity.
Maternal sensitivity has been shown to teach infants attentional skills, which are necessary later in life for emotional control, and other more complex cognitive processes.
In families with more than one child (twin or triplet), it has been found that maternal sensitivity is lower, as there are more needs to be taken care of by the mother and less time to form a unique bond, which in turn results in decreased cognitive development in the infants (relative to if the child were raised alone). Furthermore, in the newborn period, women who displayed high maternal sensitivity had children who were able to regulate their emotions and who had higher symbolic and cognitive skills. In the case of the triplets, the child that received the least maternal sensitivity was the one that showed the poorest outcomes cognitively and had the most medical problems.

Socialization in childhood

Maternal sensitivity has been shown to have an effect on children's socialization skills. In particular, some research suggests that children of more sensitive caregivers have high levels of self esteem and effort-full (i.e. emotional and behavioral) control. Such control is proposed to have been fostered from the infancy stage when the a sensitive mother's quick and appropriate responses to the baby's distress teaches the baby to adjust his/her arousal. This speedy regulation of arousal is then adapted into childhood resulting in the ability to regulate emotion and behavior well.
Caregiver sensitivity has also been found to have a connection with empathy in children. Generally, securely attached children have been found to be more empathetic compared with insecurely attached children. The reasoning suggested for this result is that because securely attached children receive more empathy from caregivers during times that they themselves are distressed, they are more likely to show empathy in a situation where someone else is distressed.


Adults' own understanding of maternal sensitivity affects their sensitivity towards their own children. Adults who had insensitive mothers during infancy were found to not be able to remember specific childhood events or their importance. They were not able to present an accurate description of their parents by use of memories, they were found to idealize experiences and are more likely to remember situations in which they were rejected. Adults who experienced higher maternal sensitivity during both infancy and adulthood were found to be less dismissive and more secure than those who did not. Adults who are preoccupied were found to also try to please their parents as they were young, and have a sense of anger towards them. About half of the adults who were found more preoccupied than others were found to have experienced divorce between their parents earlier in life, as well as other negative life events such as death of a parent or sexual abuse. These life events cause the security of attachment between mother and child to decrease as the mother's availability, as well as responsiveness may decrease, no matter the maternal sensitivity experienced prior to these events. Male adults were found to have experienced less maternal sensitivity earlier in life than females and were more likely to be classified as dismissive than females were.

Difference in maternal sensitivity in adult and teen mothers

Maternal sensitivity has been found to be greater for adult mothers than for adolescent mothers. The level and quality of mind-mindedness, which refers to how prone the mother is to comment about the infant's mental activity during interaction, is higher in adult mothers, and has been related to greater maternal sensitivity. The comments made by adult mothers were found to be more positive than those made by adolescent mothers. Adolescent mothers used almost no positive comments, but instead negative comments. This causes the adolescent mother to be more insensitive to their baby's needs, possibly because of lack of maturity and need understanding. More realistic is that the mother's own child developmental stages mastery and progression was interrupted by child neglect, physical and sexual abuse, leaving the child perpetually stuck in a developmental phase to not progress from the mastery of that stage. We see unprotected sexual promiscuity the result of sexual ignorance, poverty and sexual abuse. Unplanned teenage pregnancy is seen in overly religious families and domestic violence families both groups are in denial of sex, teenage exploration, and female offspring are not educated by any standard, the male offspring sexual promiscuity is rewarded in the U.S. culture. Parents avoid the most serious talks and give false information or the parent giving the child a sex talk a decade after they have become sexually active. Denial of truth and reality, and the support of religious norms and values that have the characteristics for monks and nuns in monasteries.   

and therefore have lower maternal sensitivity and a less secure attachment to their infants.
Maternal sensitivity in adolescent mothers can be predicted prenatally. Mothers who talked lively and positively about their future relationship with the child were found to display higher maternal sensitivity than those who did not (classified as autonomous mothers). Autonomous mothers were also found to have infants with a more secure attachment. Adolescent mothers who were not classified as autonomous were found to have anxiously attached infants. Furthermore, adolescent mothers were found to have children four–eight years old with lower IQ's and a below-average reading level than did adult mothers.
Although adolescent mothers have been found to display lower maternal sensitivity, there is no evidence that maternal age itself has a negative effect on child development, as other factors at that age such as education and financial status may play a role in the insensitivity of the mother towards the child as well

Parental Investment:

Parental investment (PI), in evolutionary biology and psychology, is any parental expenditure (time, energy etc.) that benefits one offspring at a cost to parents' ability to invest in other components of fitness. Components of fitness include the well-being of existing offspring, parents' future reproduction, and inclusive fitness through aid to kin.
It is held that parental investment starts from the point when the male and female copulate and the egg is fertilized. The minimal obligatory parental investment for a human male is the effort required to copulate. On the other hand, the minimal obligatory parental investment for a human female is copulation, nine months of pregnancy and delivery. In that case the female investment outweighs the male investment. The difference of minimal obligatory investment between males and females suggests that the amount of investment and effort put into mating and parenting will also differ. In theory, a human male could impregnate any reproductive age woman who is fertile, leading to a large number of offspring from the male. In contrast, a human female can typically have only one offspring in nine months, limiting the amount of children she can have. This suggests that males should be more competitive between one another and females will be more ‘choosy’ because of the amount of investment, searching for the male with best fitness and good genes to pass onto her offspring.
Parental investment theory accounts for many of the differences between males and females: these were evolved in order to survive and reproduce. The importance can be seen in modern humans. Human males spend more time caring for their offspring than other male mammals. This higher parental investment is the result of extended childhood of human offspring. Prolonged human childhood is required in order to develop the brain. Optimally, children learn how to survive, as well as learning about the society and its vices and virtues. However, this requires parental investment in the form of parents ‘leading the way’- teaching and protecting children. Abandoned Children may be left to die, though in some cases societies have developed various means of caring for them. Males do spend time caring for their children but to a much smaller degree than mothers. This translates into a general observation that females’ parental investment is much greater than that of males, both before and after childbirth.