The Sensitivity of the Maternal Bond, and the Parental Investment Both Human Motivations for Survival of Biological Offspring.
Foreign Concepts to the Birth Rejected Compensating Defense Mechanisms in Adopted Children and Adult Adoptees
Rejected at birth, the adopted child receives the nearly mortal wound of abandonment that despite all circumstances will accompany the child throughout his/her lifetime. The mortal wound of abandonment is the first activity that the newborn child perceives upon emerging into the world and breathing air. The abandonment wound in an infant is as devastating as a mother dying everyday, continuous death repeated on a daily basis. Since the child has no verbal skills or cognitive interpretation ability, this consuming feeling of grief can not be processed and the feeling can never be resolved (even post reunion). The unresolved feeling of grief's loss, is the foundation for all future relationships in a contingent of dependence if the relationship falls apart-we are mentally prepared to loose it and begin the grief but now can compartmentalize or file it properly into our brain's knowledge archive of memory and many other types of deposits in the brain.
The specifics of these inner deep feeling are unique to each person but common among the adoptee population.
The second injury is the substitute parent who is not the child's biological mother. The real mother is the only person who can fulfill the child to the fullest potential by the nurturing maternal sensitivity relationship between the mother-child diad.
The substitute mother has chosen the route of adoption to fulfill her personal void or narcissistic injury or childlessness. Unfortunately the adoptive mother's motivation for adopting a child is completely self centered. The adoptive mother has no plans of giving up her present life to raise someone else's child. Infact the adopted child will become an extension of the adoptive mother's life. The adoptive mother will not put the child's interests above her own, Above the spousal relationship nor above the biological child's relationship. The adoptive mother will not put the adopted child's interests before her employment, her social activity, her adult group activity, her exercise activity, her night classes, or her friend's group meetings. The fact that the adopted mother's income can pay for full time daycare signifies that the adopted child will be handed off to a third party contractor for nurturing, bonding, and general child care institutions. The child's best interests are not a consideration as the mother can afford to get what she wants and enjoy her life as it was prior to adoption. When the mother feels needy or lonely the child will be waiting to reject her on the grounds of "stranger". This will cause the mother to react with anger due to all of the money she has invested in this adoption. If the child cant be accepted the mother will formally reject, rehome and recap lost revenue or escape child support. The adopted child is a pawn of society, a sub human that has worth in infancy that is exploitable by society.
Biological Mother-Child Maternal Language & Nurturing
Maternal sensitivity is a mother's ability to perceive and infer the meaning behind her infant's behavioral signals and to respond to them promptly and appropriately. Maternal sensitivity affects child development at all stages through life, from infancy, all the way to adulthood. In general, more sensitive mothers have healthier, more socially and cognitively developed children than those who are not as sensitive. Also, maternal sensitivity has been found to affect the person psychologically even as an adult. Adults who experienced high maternal sensitivity during their childhood were found to be more secure than those who experienced less sensitive mothers. Once the adult becomes a parent themselves, their own understanding of maternal sensitivity will affect their own children's development. Some research suggests that adult mothers display more maternal sensitivity than adolescent mothers, who may in turn may have children with a lower IQ and reading level than children of adult mothers
Health in childhood
Temperament in childhood
Development in childhood
- secure attachment (observed at 15 months) and maternal sensitivity (observed at 24 months) produced the highest competencies in three-year-old children,
- the least competent children would have a history of insecure attachment and maternal insensitivity,
- and the children reared with mixed or inconsistency would fall in between.