"The Flash Back" From Adopted Childhood Trauma From Narcissistic Adoptive Mother's Domination
Experienced Flash-Back From A "Sound"
I had just woken up, not able or willing to talk, and went to work on research in my outside office. I herd a loud crash inside the house, and went running to the door and Yelled without thinking into the kitchen door "Are You throwing away my Legos"? That was the sound that I herd when small building blocks made of plastic are thrown into a garbage bag in anger to punish and blame me for being a bad child, in trouble or the responsibility for my childhood family's messy house.
My husband said "What"? Then I Realized there were no longer Legos in my possession and they couldn't be thrown away to punish me as I am 45 years old.
There are many types of Flash-Backs
Visual, Reminders of the Past.
Sound, Words, Songs, Sayings & Phrases.
Objects and things that remind us of unpleasant times and circumstances.
People's Faces, Facial Expressions,
Defensive Body Language.
Defensive Behavior, Bad Attitudes, Negative Regard. Non-verbal and Verbal Communication.
All can remind us of the time when we were the helpless children, worthless dependents on those who hated us, enslaved us and corrupted our sense of self-worth, self esteem and lessened our human value as children. Through Psychological manipulation the parent, mother fragmented our childhood innocence into the mother's perception of what bad children are. The mother crushed any remaining memory of who we were and attempted to mold us into what she thought society would praise her parenting skills. Although these "BAD mothers" narcissistic self-indulgent and motivated to seek self-interest based boost to their own esteem, the task of child raising, nurturing and assisting others is a task for the second class citizen, the maid, the housekeeper and babysitter. The Bad Mother can't be bothered with the daily routine of childhood. The bad mother has too many needs to satisfy in designing, creating and maintaining the narcissist's current life. The bad mother resents the child's presence, Is repulsed by the ignorant child's messy social appearance and loathes the unskilled words and intellect of the young ignored child. Although the bad mother couldn't be bothered to instruct the child on exactly what behavior or personal grooming the child should use to make the child not embarrass the mother in public. The bad mother will rely strictly on criticizing the child's present unpleasant appearance, unacceptable thoughts, emotions and feelings, and chastise the words, phrases attitude and behavior in public to humiliate the child as punishment. The bad mother needs her beauty sleep, needs a constant supply of new clothing and hair styles and daily public places to display her grand style of appearance. The dragging around of an ungrateful, unappreciative child that is not observing or acknowledging of her beauty and social status, brings her great anger. The adopted child is not aware of the mother's standards of beauty, social status or financial wealth that the mother's social peer group applauds the mother. The adopted child's lack of awareness, lacking acknowledgement, and lack of appreciation for the mother is the cause of great anger and hatred for the adopted child. The adopted child is not one of the mother's admirers, and the mother see's this as being disrespected, challenged and a possible voice to uncover the truth of the mother's fraud, fake and flawed personality.
The bad mother fights dirty to dominate the freedom of the ungrateful adopted child's voice with psychological manipulation and physical violence to teach the adopted child who is in control over the adopted child's life.