The Existential Crisis in Adult Adoptee's, Existential Loss In Post Adoption Reunion. __________________________________________
The adult adoptee that has arrived full circle from child adoption, identity search, adoption reunion and the place of realization where the adoptee's reality reflects that he belongs neither here nor there. The emptiness of the discontinuity of the forever severed bonds, the realization of the adoptive repulsion of difference and the continued lack of and failure of true identity that was not recovered through revisiting the past. Although a necessary ritual needed to reveal truths that is a desperate driven need to reveal, understand and live in the truth of the forever adoptee's crisis to destroy secrecy in his existence.
Unfortunately the life of the adoptee beginning in biological abandonment, continued in child adoption secrecy, the forced false assumed identity and the reality of adoption's repulsive difference and compensation coping. The cycle of the search for biological truth and the reality realization of not belonging neither there (biological family) or here
(adoptive family). The adoptee's reality of existence as an Island, and not a bridge to biological and adoptive groups, leaves the adoptee in the continuous misery of the plight of disconnection in the world he exists. The adoptee's reality of not belonging to anyone and without ties to anywhere that the adoptee is quite familiar with and the unrelenting, disappointing truth, verity and actuality of the fact of being disconnected, all alone in the world that he must continue to live this way as the island, or as the stranger in a crowded room of people he knows. The adoptee see's no comfort or respite from the miserable feelings that plague him, known only to him the sometimes unbearable loneliness that lies at the core of his difference from others. No amount of therapy, medications, drugs or alcohol can erase, numb or change the peculiarity of the adoptee that disconnects him from society and lies at his foundation of who he is not. The adoptee is the poster child of the forever adopted child who is existentially lost, and can never be recovered.
The adopted child's purpose in society, is thought of a life long role, but the timeline of purposeful service is about ten years. When the child's growth can no longer conceal his differences to the adoptive parent.
The adopted child's purpose is cut short by the group's growing repulsion of the adopted child's metamorphosis in to the appearance of his biological group which causes mistrust, repulsion, and reevaluation of the group's tolerance of the outsider and the predictable rejection from the group. The adopted child can no longer rely on coping mechanisms from childhood to compensate for the growing differences. The adopted child is mentally or physically discharged from service but did not develop his own true identity that would have given the child the tools to engage in society and the adoptee is left to flounder without social skills, personable talents and self esteem or respect that propel people into the world to conquer and claim.
The plight of the adopted child lies in society's role and rejection of the unwanted child and exists in society's utilization of the unwanted child to fulfill the temporary purpose and what is left over after the temporary purpose of adoption is fulfilled.
- The sense of being alone and isolated in the world;
- A new-found grasp or appreciation of one's mortality;
- Believing that one's life has no purpose or external meaning;
- Searching for the meaning of life;
- Shattering of one's sense of reality, or how the world is;
- Awareness of one's freedom and the consequences of accepting or rejecting that freedom;
- An extremely pleasurable or hurtful experience that leaves one seeking meaning;
Handling existential crises
- Anchoring is the "fixation of points within, or construction of walls around, the liquid fray of consciousness". The anchoring mechanism provides individuals with a value or an ideal that allows them to focus their attentions in a consistent manner. Zapffe also applied the anchoring principle to society, and stated "God, the Church, the State, morality, fate, the laws of life, the people, the future" are all examples of collective primary anchoring firmaments.
- Isolation is "a fully arbitrary dismissal from consciousness of all disturbing and destructive thought and feeling".
- Distraction occurs when "one limits attention to the critical bounds by constantly enthralling it with impressions". Distraction focuses all of one's energy on a task or idea to prevent the mind from turning in on itself.
- Sublimation is the refocusing of energy away from negative outlets, toward positive ones. The individual distances him or herself and looks at his or her existence from an aesthetic point of view (e.g. writers, poets, painters). Zapffe himself pointed out that his written works were the product of sublimation.