About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Friday, June 13, 2014

The Emotional Conflict In the Adopted Child

ADOPTEE RAGE!

The Emotional Conflict in the Adopted Child.
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The Emotional Conflict in the Adopted Child 
is the presence of different, conflicting, and opposing emotions relating to the child's own situation of being adopted. The adopted child's inability to discuss, seek assistance, Identify or explore the unrelenting thoughts, painful feelings and confusion from the adopted parent's resistance of the adoption topic and the adoptive parents expectations of the adopted child to avoid the adoption topic.

The childhood of the adopted child becomes more complex to extreme complication by factors that ad to the stress of the child's flawed coping  mechanisms .

The child's private conflicts are not shared with the adoptive parents.
The child has learned in early childhood to keep silent of the things that cause confusion, inner turmoil, anger and sadness, due to previous experience of the overreacting adoptive mother's inability to deal with her own problems, and the adoptive parent's denial that a child has problems. The mentality of the adopted mother expresses invalidity at the child experiencing emotional discomfort. The parent's denial expresses that the child "lives a life of leisure" free from the stress of the adult world", a child is incapable of being stressed or to even to know about what the word stress means. Narcissistic personality traits are common behavior observed in adoptive parent's denial of a child's emotional well-being, or denial of the adoptive parent's contribution to to the mal-adjustment of the adopted child.

Emotional Conflict: a feeling of physical discomfort, especially when 'a functional disturbance has become associated with an emotional conflict in childhood', and in particular by tension headaches expressing a state of inner tension...[or] caused by an unconscious conflict'.
For C.G. Jung, "Emotional conflicts, and the intervention of the unconscious are the classical features of medical psychology".

 Equally, 'Freud's concept of emotional conflict as amplified by  Anna Freud, Erikson and others, is central in contemporary theories of mental disorder in children, particularly with respect to the development of Psychoneurosis.

In childhood development
'The early stages of emotional development are full of potential conflict and disruption'. Infancy and childhood are a time when 'everything is polarised into extremes of love and hate' and when 'totally opposite, extreme feelings about them must be getting put together too. Which is both confusing and painful to a young child. It's very difficult to discover you hate someone you love'. Development involves integrating such primitive emotional conflicts, so that 'in the process of integration, impulses to attack and destroy, and impulses to give and share are related, the one lessening the effect of the other', until the point is reached at which 'the child may have made a satisfactory fusion of the idea of destroying the object with the fact of loving the same object'.
Once such primitive relations to the mother[er] have been at least partially resolved, 'in the age period two to five or seven, each normal infant is experiencing the most intense conflicts' relating to wider relationships: 'ideas of love are followed by ideas of hate, by jealousy and painful emotional conflict and by personal suffering; and where conflict is too great there follows loss of full capacity, inhibitions, coping mechanisms, avoidance...Psychopathy symptom formation.

Defences

Defenses against emotional conflict include 'splitting and projection. The child will deal with intrapsychic conflict not by addressing it, but by sidestepping it or avoidance'.  
Displacement too can help resolve such conflicts: 'If an individual no longer feels threatened by his father but by a horse, he can avoid hating his father; here the distortion way a way out of the conflict of ambivalence. The father, who had been hated and loved by the child simultaneously, is loved only, and the hatred is displaced onto the bad horse'. But the child's hatred is more about his fear of the father, so the child lives in fear of the horse, instead of hatred of the horse.

Physical symptoms

Inner emotional conflicts can result in physical discomfort or pain often in the form of tension headaches, which can be episodic or chronic, and may last from a few minutes or hours, to days - associated pain being mild, moderate, or severe.
'The physiology of nervous headaches still presents many unsolved problems', as in general do all such 'physical alterations...
...rooted in unconscious instinctual conflicts'.  "Instinctual Conflict"
However physical discomfort or pain without apparent cause may be the way our body is telling us of an underlying emotional turmoil and anxiety triggered by some recent event. Thus for example a woman 'may be busy in her office, apparently in good health and spirits. A moment later she develops a blinding headache and shows other signs of distress. Without consciously noticing it, she has heard the foghorn of a distant ship, and this has unconsciously reminded her of an unhappy parting', a physical beating, a local sound from her childhood abusive home.
While it is not easy (in non abused individuals and impossible in lifelong abused individuals, by relaxing, calming down, and trying to become aware of what recent experience or event could have been the cause of the inner conflict, and then rationally looking at and dealing with the conflicting desires and needs, a gradual dissipation and relief of the pain may be possible.