Ambivalence, Ambiguity or Coping Mechanisms In Adopted Children and Adult Adoptees?
AmbiguityIn sociology and social psychology, the term "ambiguity" is used to indicate situations that involve uncertainty, as In the process of child adoption. Many factors are present and intersect at different periods of time that will effect the adoption in many ways.
Is a state of having simultaneous, conflicting reactions towards some object.
Example: The adopted child's personal and private thoughts are kept to himself because his personal truth or how the adopted child's understanding of
#1. The Adopted-Self and the True-Self
A. The child's(Role as compliant) for the presence adoptive parents.
B. The child's(Role as deviant) alone,with friends, and parent absence.
C. The child's (Role as student) with a teacher, a class or activity
#2. Adopted Child's View of Adoptive Parent
A. The role that tries to please parent (Role:Compliant)
B. The similar role to avoid trouble or punishment (Roll:Eggshell)
#3. The Adoptive Parents "behavior toward" the Adopted Child.
A. How the parents behave in the child's presence.(Role:Parent)
B. How the parent's behave with other adults. (Role:Deviant)
Ambivalence is the adopted child's inner conflict is what he knows
about A) himself, B) his environment, C) The Adopted Child Role, D) Adopted Sibling Role, E) Student Role, F) Church Member Role G) Compliant Role, H) Deviant Role, J) Adopted Child Social Role K) His Secret True Self. and the many other roles adoptee's perform with other individuals that may exist close to, overlap and inside of the adoption circle, these people are given the adopted child related roles.
Never will the adopted child role be unveiled to reveal the secret self, as the adoption circle is the circle of persecution, injustice, humiliation, devalue, incriminate, investigate, as the consensus of the adoptive family behavior, prejudice, bias and wish ill health and suffering to the ungrateful adopted child. Those in the adoption circle have tolerated the adopted child's presence and see the adoptee as a one dimensional object that is ignorant, has nothing to contribute, as a lower class and cast, worthy of hatred and malice. The adopted sibling in a narcissistic view has considerable contempt for the adopted child and will waste time gossiping about the adopted child within the adoptive circle. The sibling is a rival to the non-participating adoptee., The adult sibling see's the adult adoptee the same as when they were young children, as a competition for the adoptive parent's attention, although the sibling is the adoptive parent's biological child which shares unconditional love with the parent.
Unlike the adopted child who must constantly prove allegiance to the adoptive parent, exhausting attempts go unrewarded on this one way street and forever cycle of madness in domestic violent narcissist's home.
The adoptive parent has great emotional baggage, loathing and contempt for the adopted child who is the bearer of unfulfillment and failure to meet expectations. The child never earned respect, trust or understanding, the adoptive parent can only feel indifference toward the adopted child who the parent could not trust.
The adopted child's Secret True Self
Is kept locked deep within never to see the light of day, nor any aspects of his true self would ever be revealed to another human being in his lifetime. No other person can develop a complete trusting relationship with the adoptee. The adopted child has been trained from birth to anticipate, wait for and expect that the trauma will arrive. Traumatic experience is something that is familiar, a pattern and can be depended upon by an abused adopted child. Adopted children live in a perpetual developmental arrest, having stopped the psychological progress and mastery during the developmental stages of childhood. Having not mastered each foundation stage of exploration, the stopping point between two phases is the unfortunate place of mental development. The interruption of childhood abuse, neglect and coping with defense mechanisms helped the child survive but not growing psychologically.
Adoption abuse strips every shred of humanity from the potential that every child is born with. To destroy a child's identity, will make him more compliant, dominated and easily maintained control over him. "The Parent Guard"
The Adoptive Parent's perceived control of adopted child's beliefs:
1. In the child's adoption story created by the adoptive parent's bias.
2. Religious beliefs of the adoptive parents including rights, etc.
3. The adoptive parent's moral beliefs, values, society, membership.
4. The adopted parent's culture, ancestry, political movements.
5. The adoptive parent's "Do what I say, Not as I Do" behavior.
#1. What the adoptive parents expected the adopted child to believe. #2. What the adoptive family expects the adopted child to believe. #3. The adopted child's compliant belief. #4. The child's secret personal truth (held inside and told to no one) that no one expects the existence of.
Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having
an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valenced components. The term also refers to situations where "mixed feelings" of a more general sort are experienced, or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness concerning something. The expression "sitting on the fence" is often used to describe the feeling of ambivalence. Example:"Our family believes in animal rights", So eat your steak!