Adopted Child's Coping Use of Domestic Violence
As you will notice in the outline of Coping
Psychology is the "avoidance of the obvious problem". In adopted child abuse, sexual abuse, the psychological sabotage and maltreatment of adopted children, the problem identified by the adoptive parent is the poor behavior, bad grades and bad attitude of the adopted child. Although the abused adopted child's problem is the domestic violence at home, the adoptive parent's alcoholism, husband and wife's chronic late night return home fighting. The inconsistent home environment caused by the partying parent's chronic absence from the home keeping the child hypervigilent at their return.
The adoptive parent wants the psychologist to alter the adopted child's coping behavior. The coping behavior is in response to the adoptive parent's misbehavior. The adopted child is essentially "surviving", existing day to day in between the parent's outbreaks of anger and violence. The psychologist will not approach the parent regarding the adoptive parent's dangerous behavior causing the adopted child's coping. The adoptive parent if approached by the psychological professional, would fire the therapist on the spot. Nor does the therapist report the incidence of domestic violence to authorities about the disruptive adoptive home.
There is no way to benefit in this adoption triangle.
So the adopted child continues "coping" to survive,
does no better in school, everything stays the same.
- appraisal-focused: Directed towards challenging one's own assumptions, adaptive cognitive
- problem-focused: Directed towards reducing or eliminating a stressor, adaptive behavioral
- emotion-focused: Directed towards changing one's own emotional reaction
Positive techniques (adaptive or constructive coping)
Negative techniques (maladaptive coping or non-coping)
Historical psychoanalytic theories
- Affection and approval, the need to please others and be liked
- A partner who will take over one's life, based on the idea that love will solve all of one's problems
- Restriction of one's life to narrow borders, to be undemanding, satisfied with little, inconspicuous; to simplify one's life
- Power, for control over others, for a facade of omnipotence, caused by a desperate desire for strength and dominance
- Exploitation of others; to get the better of them
- Social recognition or prestige, caused by an abnormal concern for appearances and popularity
- Personal admiration
- Personal achievement.
- Self-sufficiency and independence
- Perfection and unassailability, a desire to be perfect and a fear of being flawed.