About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Unconditional Love Connection Between Biological Parent and Offspring., The Conditional Regard for the Adopted Child.

ADOPTEE RAGE!

The Unconditional (Love) Connection Between Biological Family Member Relationship and The Conditional Regard For the Adopted Child.
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Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations. It can be also love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, complete love, or "mother's/father's love." Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging. It is a concept in ones mind comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. An example of this is a parent's love for their child; no matter a test score, a life changing decision, an argument, or a strong belief, the amount of love that remains between this bond is seen as unchanging and unconditional.
In religion, unconditional love is thought to be part of "The Four Loves" affection, friendship, romance, and unconditional. In ethology, or the study of animal behavior, unconditional love would refer to altruism which in turn refers to the behavior by individuals that increases the fitness of another while decreasing the fitness of the individual committing the act. In psychology, unconditional love refers to a state of mind in which one has the goal of increasing the welfare of another, despite any evidence of benefit for oneself. The term is also widely used in family and couples counseling manuals.

The distinction between unconditional love and conditional love.        
"Conditional Love": love is 'earned' on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover. Conditional Love requires some kind of exchanges.
   
Unconditional Love: love is "given freely" to the loved one "no matter what". Loving attention and affection of nurturing is primary.   Unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will. Unconditional love separates the individual from their behaviors.

Unconditional love NOT mistaken with Unconditional Dedication.           
Unconditional Dedication: unconditional dedication or "duty" refers to an act of the will, "Irrespective of feelings" (e.g. a person may consider they have a duty to stay with someone they do not love because of "Duty", or To keep something that is no longer wanted out of a "Duty".)                            
 However, the individual may exhibit behaviors that are unacceptable in a particular situation. To begin with a simple example:                      #1) One acquires a puppy. 
The puppy is cute, playful, and the owner's heart swells with love for this new family member. Then the puppy urinates on the floor. The owner does not stop loving the puppy, but needs to modify the puppy's behavior through training and education. The puppy grows into a large dog, with the loss of his "cuteness" the puppy is banished from the home to live alone in the backyard for the duration of his life, and the owner's "Duty" to keep the dog which is now regarded as a burden.                                                                                                                 #2) One acquires an adopted child.
The child's "Cuteness" factor is serious and extremely relied upon (by Adoption Agency's Hope for placement success and Matching theory) to promote the adoptive mother's attachment to the adopted child.  As in the puppy example, the adopting parent seeks out objects to satisfy needs, desires and depravity. A personal defect as in infertility, the need to have the social status that being a parent (status/role), To make just a personal injustice ( the unfairness of infertility). The hopeful attachment of the mother is necessary as seen in the puppy's cuteness, the infant's cuteness will also quickly fade away. As seen in superficially based relationships, the good looks will change in time and there must be other similarities between two people to keep them "relating" to one another. Although the adopted child can't relate to the adoptive parent, the mother's attachment to the infant may grow a future relationship. But there is no shared similarities, the infant can't interact with language and the non-verbal biological messages from the mother-from the infant can not be understood to "relate" to one another on an interpersonal level. The adoptive mother's attachment to the child is conditional and is the second point for the possibility of a child adoption success (relied upon by adoption agency procedure).