About Adoptee Rage

Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Self Esteem Concept in Normal Healthy Individuals

ADOPTEE RAGE!

The Concept of Self Esteem In Normal Healthy Individuals

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Self-esteem, in regard to human interpersonal communication, is the evaluative element of the perception of oneself. Self-esteem is self-appraisal, your perception of self worth, physical attractiveness, social competence of how we relate to others is reflected back to us  and constitutes our regard for ourselves.
Our self-esteem begins in-utero and continues to develop after birth as non-verbal dialog, eye and physical contact, the mechanism of interaction between the mother-child attachment of the maternal bond that constitutes the child's foundation of (present and future) self-esteem relatedness. The maternal drive assists the mother and child in biological intuition and non-verbal communication that promotes the child and mother's message exchanges to be interpreted and understood as a feeling of nurturing and love in a positive regard.   

Influences on self-esteem

There are three primary influences on self-esteem: reflected appraisal, social comparison, and contingencies of self-worth. Reflected appraisal refers to messages you receive from others that assess your self-concept. For example, we are not able to believe that we are smart if the ones who are important in our lives tell us that we are slow, stupid or dumb. Social comparison is evaluating ourselves by comparing our own abilities, attributes, and accomplishments to those of other people. When we surround ourselves with others whom we perceive to be superior to us, our self-esteem tends to diminish, while when we surround ourselves with others whom we perceive to be not as talented as us, our self-esteem tends to inflate. Lastly, contingencies of self-worth is how our self-esteem is influenced by what is perceived as most important to us feeling good about ourselves. For example, one person's self-esteem could be highly contingent on doing well in academics and having a lot of friends whereas another person's self-esteem could be highly contingent on their performance in athletics and adherence to moral standards of the parents.

Protecting our self-esteem

Individuals protect their self-esteem by exercising a self serving bias, which is the tendency to attribute successful behavior to oneself but to assign external circumstances to one's unsuccessful behavior. For example, a football wide-receiver will give himself all of the credit for a miraculous catch but will blame the quarterback for a dropped one. The tendency to emphasize one's accomplishments and downplay one's failures is common. People will be unlikely to learn new skills or gain knowledge unless they become mindful of this self serving and destructive tendency.

Optimal self-esteem

Optimal self-esteem comes from significance accomplishments without expecting a reward. It is the unconscious effort to please others without expecting anything in return and is unlikely to occur if you place yourself at the mercy of other people's appraisals. Optimal self-esteem develops, paradoxically, when you concentrate on accomplishing goals and dreams rather than building self-esteem.