Adoptive Mother's Psychological Control, Domination and Parental Rejection Coping Mechanisms Toward Adopted Child
A familiar relationship to adopted children is the adoptive parent's psychological control and domination of the adopted child. The relationship is based on the adoptive mother's inability to mirror, perceive, receive or accept the messages in non-verbal communication between herself and the adopted child. This adoptive relationship is not biologically interactive so the messages are not understood and no intuitive knowing exists between the mother and child, because the relationship is un-natural and legally forced. Due to the fact that the mother's maternal self can not control or understand or be in control of the interaction with the child, it is unconsciously perceived as sub standard quality.
Thus, the mother unconsciously and consciously categorizes the child and her relationship with the child as sub standard and flawed. The adoptive mother rejects the child, and feels ambiguity toward the child that causes her self hatred as the mother can not categorize the conflict of her feelings. The only way for the adoptive mother to reconcile her distorted and rejecting feelings is to psychologically reject the child of her wishes, hopes and aspirations., And accept the adopted child as as a lower class, flawed disposition and defective nature in the child. The adoptive mother's coping mechanisms to reject the problem and adapt a new approach of control and domination to mentally accept the task of psychologically breaking, grooming and training the flawed child to mold the child into what may be acceptable in the "future product" to the adoptive mother. The domination and control will keep the child humble, submissive and grateful to the adoptive mother's extensive coping efforts to keep the alien child in her existence as forever a child.