About Adoptee Rage
Statistics Identify large populations of Adoptees in prisons, mental hospitals and committed suicide.
Fifty years of scientific studies on child adoption resulting in psychological harm to the child and
poor outcomes for a child's future.
Medical and psychological attempts to heal the broken bonds of adoption, promote reunions of biological parents and adult children. The other half of attempting to repair a severed Identity is counselling therapy to rebuild the self.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Multi-generational Patterns Perpetuated By Narcissistic Adoptive Parents
"Narcissistic adoptive parents give raise either narcissistic or codependent adopted children, because of their inability to engage emotionally, keeping an intentional mental and physical separation of disconnect, and deny the reality of the substituted relationship by ignoring their adopted children's needs.
Narcissistic parents likely went through some form of psychological, physical or/and sexual abuse and neglect in their own childhoods. The narcissistic adoptive parent will find it impossible to place their children's needs and interests ahead of their own desire to feel in control.
The Narcissist Child: Children of a difficult, more stubborn temperament defend against being supportive of others in the house. They observe how the selfish parents get his needs met by others. They learn how guilt and manipulation gets the parent what he or she wants. They develop a false self and use aggression and intimidation to get their way. These children grow up to be Narcissistic themselves.
The Codependent Child: The sensitive, guilt-ridden adopted child in the family learn to meet the parent’s needs for gratification through negative reinforcement, chronic and constantly punished, and is the family's scapegoat for all problems.
The child's parent interaction cycle is a permanent lifelong pattern of disregard, as the parent see's the adopted child as inferior, different and does not belong. The exception is when the child is doing the specific function or task that he/she was adopted for", providing the role of "The needy orphan who is the forever admirer audience of the beautiful parent's performance in life" game. The child's hope filled, repetitive attempts of trying to be loved (by mother/father) by accommodating the whims, wishes and demands of the heartless parent. Yet the child never receives any praise, comfort, positive reinforcement or nurturing from the child's willingness to perform what was demanded, so why does the child keep trying to please without reward? Survival, Programming, Repetitive habit?
The child’s normal feelings are ignored, denied and eventually repressed in attempts to gain the parent’s “attention.” Guilt and shame keep the child locked into this developmental arrest. Their aggressive impulses and rage become split off and are not integrated with normal development. These adopted children develop a false self as defense mechanism and become co-dependent (to a flaw) In all and future relationships. The child's unconscious denial of their true self perpetuates a cycle self-hatred, fearing any reminder of their authentic self, because it may ruin the established continuity and comfort of familiarity.