The Adopted Child's Love-Hate to Benefit the Ego of Adoptive Parent
The adoptive parents expect allegiance to their values, morals, religion and adoptive family. The child's past is erased by the adoptive parents in an attempt to assimilate and indoctrinate the child into their "Vision" of what their own offspring might have been. The attempts of adoptive parents to change the normal biology of an adoptive child and mold them into the fantasy of the adoptive parent's offspring will always end in failure from twenty years of programming, molding and correcting the adopted child.
When the adopted child is young the constant mental grooming seems to be working successfully. The child retains the generic child-like appearance and the adopted child strives to make the substitute parents happy by acting and performing the behaviors they applaud.
The adopted child is not developing a personality, he is using coping mechanisms to keep the substitute parents from abandoning him. As the adopted child's motivating factor is "not to be abandoned again" as he was abandoned at birth by his biological parent, the child's foundation for all future relationships will end in abandonment. He is programmed to believe this forever. Throughout the adoptive child's childhood he will have conflicting thoughts and they manifest as "splitting". Being all good or all bad, to love or to hate is splitting, these "coping mechanisms" continues in the adopted child's dialog. When the child says "he Hates his biological mother" and later in adolescence where he is questioning the adoptive parent's motivations to change him from who he is, He will say "I love My biological mother and hate my adoptive mother. This is normal for adopted child who is denied to be his true identity, and must maintain the false identity to please the adopted parents so they wont abandon him. But in reality when the adopted child reaches the awareness stage in adolescence he will have trouble performing the identity act to his adoptive parents. The adopted child's cognitive development will make him see the dual identity as his own identity sham. The adopted child can't be true to himself and perform for his adoptive parents, while he is exploring what it is to be his true self. The identity is dual in the adopted child, and will have more performance identities for different people in different situations.
The adult adoptee may be feel unable to keep up the masquerade and be true to his true identity, to stroke the ego's of the adoptive parents become an abomination to who the adult adoptee is.