The Many Uses Of the Word Closure,Adoptee's Real Applications
The word Closure as seen through the writings of various research and authors on the subject, has nothing to do with the adult adoptee and more to do with the adoptive parent's fear base from denial. Denial that the child has an extensive biological network of genetic ties to whom they In fact are. The child's name, a mother a father, siblings, grandparents, extended family., Race, culture, religion, the home land of origins, folklore, stories and where the child's true identity can be found there. As closure was presented to me, (As I searched and found my true identity) My emotions, feelings and facts that have been kept from me for 42 years, were all quickly summed up, in the same sentence discounted and invalidated by "I guess you need closure from them". Not at all, quite the contrary my life is beginning to make sense for the first time in my pathetic 41 years of life and existence. The only door that I may consider closing is the Door to the Narcissistic Personality Disordered adoptive parent, who psychologically manipulates, controls and dominates me. The door to the scapegoat from the narcissist, the door that leads to the adoptive parent who likes and wants to strike me in the face. The door to the people who trip me to make me fall and like to laugh at at me. The narcissist family
that uses triangulation to only speak through the mother to trick me, trap me and forever impose mental punishments because I am different, I am kind, I have reverence and respect for all living things. The door to the dysfunctional alcoholic home that tries every way to force alcohol into my mouth and hate me because I will not join them in the alcoholic buzz or stupor. I have already ingested too much alcohol in childhood, saw too many alcoholic behavior and paid the price of my childhood innocence to be the attention object, identified patient, nurse and housekeeper to the narcissistic mother long enough. That is what I sought closure from not my true identity or my real family, culture and tribe. No one can or will really understand the paradox of adoption unless they have lived it as an adopted child. Adoptive parents don't understand as they don't raise children to fly away from the nest. Many adoptive parents raise children to fill a designation for life, and beyond their 18 years is too long. They did get their needs met and had the harmony of an innocent child who worships them until the time in adolescence where cognitive understanding is achieved, and acted on or as in my case, Thrown out into the street at 16 years old and told to never come back. No psychologically normal or realistic parent would joke this way, It's Not Funny.
Closure or need for closure (NFC) (used interchangeably with need for cognitive closure (NFCC)) are psychological terms that describe an individual's desire for a firm answer to a question and an aversion toward ambiguity. The term "need" denotes a motivation.
Need For Closure Scale
Need to avoid closure
Lack of closure
- selecting the most relevant information one should attend to for increasing chances of adaptation
- initiating and sustaining cognitive manipulations that are required to achieve particular outcomes
- making judgments and assessments of input information
- weighing information during the course of decision-making
Sorrow and Closure
by Sherry Russell
Robert Fulford's column about the word "closure"(The National Post, November 10, 2001)
On Thursday, the Chicago Housing Authority agreed to pay US$2.1-million to the family of a five-year-old boy who had been dropped to his death from a vacant apartment by two older boys. According to the Associated Press, the authority's spokesman said he hoped this would provide some "closure" for the family of the murdered child.
Every era brings popular words that no one quite understands, or -- worse -- everyone understands differently. Closure has been such a word for 10 or 15 years. It describes something that is highly desirable but also quite vague. Those in emotional pain are said to need it, and many hope to achieve it if they can figure out what it is and how to get it. Some people apparently think that just mentioning it is consoling, as if the word itself had magic properties. At the very least, discussing it demonstrates that someone's distress is being taken seriously.
Around 1910, the Gestalt school of therapy in Germany brought the term closure into psychology to describe the way scattered and troubling feelings can resolve themselves in coherent and stable mental patterns. Today, it means much more -- coming to terms emotionally with tragedy, or rapidly ending the misery caused by grievous loss.
People recovering from love affairs also sometimes yearn for closure -- and some find it on the Internet. One place to go is www.geocities.com/Athens/Cyprus/3199/, where the first page says "Get Closure! Store your emotional baggage with us!" You write an account of your broken relationship, explain what you learned from it, and include a final message for your former beloved. The message will be delivered to his or her e-mail address, with musical accompaniment chosen by the sender from a list that includes I Am a Rock and I Can See Clearly Now.