The "Expert's Opinion",
Over Time are Revised, Changed, Abandoned and Proven Wrong.
Fear based parents are the first parents to rely on and spread old wives tales and misinformation. The emotionally codependent parent believes the inaccurate information based on the perception of a trusted friendship is a reliable source, and not the reliability of the information itself. The compromised parent utilizes the information that is not based in fact as an exclusive source of parenting knowledge.
Adoptive mothers who rely on their friend's expert advice from women's social organization, groups, clubs etc. also are experts in the field of gossip. He, she said..., I've been told..., We have herd..., They tell us that..., Expert's say...., What we were told..
All of these introductions say to the listener that "They" Don't know shit! Who is "they" that have the power to influence you?
The excuse "because we didn't know" is not an acceptable reason to live and raise children by the guidelines of gossip. The past forty years almost every small town in the United States has a public library to read about child development and related topics. The current status of public internet access means the only excuse in relying on gossip based knowledge is laziness. What most mothers of the past were too busy to bother with in reading about raising children, In fact the raising of children is the most important accomplishment in a women's life.
The type of parent that is developmentally stuck in a developmental stage of childhood, has not mastered the phase to progress to the next stage is the most detrimental mother to a child's autonomy. The mother may have graduated high school
but has not engaged herself in learning beyond that time long ago in High School, she is stalled at that point in time mentally.
The developmentally stalled may have conflicted religious control
due to the stall in mental progress of identity formation. As children reach adulthood their learning progress will bi pass the parent and the parent will respond negatively to the child's growing and reaching mental capacity. The development arrested parent will discourage the child's goals for higher education, try to dominate the child with religion's moral control where fear base is presented as a lifestyle. The developing arrest attempts against the adolescent forming identity and attempt to shape the rocket into a housewife hopefully will fail.